Women - have you ever tried to "change" your man? For example - you met a guy who's a big sports fan, and tried to stop him from watching the game every Sunday? Or you got with a jeans and t shirt guy and tried to make him a suit and tie guy? Why do some women try and change their men? Wouldn't it be better to either accept him for the man he is - or to go find a man who is more your type?
2007-03-05 03:19:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a REALLY good question - and I've wondered WHY some women (or men) do this. My husband knew what he was getting before we got married, and I knew what I was getting. If people can't accept the one they love for who they are, then they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Granted, after a few years of marriage, you tend to pick up behaviors from each other (my husband never touched salad before we got married, but he loves it now - as long as there are no tomatoes! LOL!), but as far as trying to make your spouse into something / someone they aren't - that's just unacceptable. It's also a great way to bring conflict to what's supposed to be a loving relationship! I'd love it if my husband were more organized, but life is too short to get bent out of shape about it. Nobody's perfect.
2007-03-05 03:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think most people who do that are jealous of healthy romantic relationships because (for whatever reason) they haven't been able to find one for themselves. I think that their objective is to make a seemingly happy couple argue or get angry at each other, in an attempt to make the instigator feel that their dysfunctional relationships are normal. Also, some people are just a**holes that like to see everyone else miserable.
2016-03-16 04:58:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because we love our guy! We just think we can improve him. That makes us try so hard and you guys have to go with the flow sometimes. I wouldn't give up sports for her though. That's going too far!!
You guys are messed up too. You don't do all your tricks while you're dating and before she is in her cage, caring for the house and your laundry. Then it's a big surprise to find out you park yourself in front of the TV so often.
Treat your wife like you want a date with her once in awhile. Maybe she'll cut you some slack!
2007-03-05 03:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi there,
As for myself, I feel like it is impossible to change others unless they want to do it on their own.. By me trying to change my man, I am having false expectations which lead to pain.. Not a good thing.. The only thing that I can do is assess my situation and discuss my feeling, then make a choice for myself..
In my life, I also found that it is much easier to change myself and not others..
2007-03-05 03:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I married my husband for who he "IS" not who I "wanted" him to be.. as he IS what I want...to try to change someone is stupid and futile...love your spouse for who they "are"...I have never tried to change my husband, but have embraced our differences, and we have grown together....when he watches his "man movies" that I so dislike, I do something that I like to do...like read, paint, watch an old movie...then, later, we get together and have lively discussions on our separate experiences and enjoy the fact that he doesn't like EVERYTHING I do and visa-versa...Viva La Difference!
2007-03-05 03:33:55 · answer #5 · answered by Toots 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have tried to turn my night-owl into a lark. It doesn't work. It just causes fights and makes us angry at each other. I guess that women need to learn that you can't change a man....unless he's wearing a diaper.
2007-03-05 03:32:44 · answer #6 · answered by Fotomama 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No i have not nor has he tried to change me..... we both spent time in getting to know each other before getting married... communication /expectations are key in a good relationship{just a couple of many other qualities one needs to have to have a loving,passionate mate}
2007-03-05 03:25:58 · answer #7 · answered by MJ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
haha yes and it doesnt work! You cant change someone, they have to change themselves. Women need to tell their men what they want, and men needs to sometimes lay sports aside for the happiness of their wife. And women need to understand that men needs their sports and not to take it away from them all the time...
its all about compromise.
2007-03-05 03:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are things I would like my husband to wear or to do other things. Like I want him to wear clothes like nick lachey..lol...I told him that I thought the shirts would look great on him, he didn't want to. I said okay, and he saw his friend wearing a shirt like the one I was talking about and the next day my husband went out and bought one...okay with me! The problem is men think that woman should be the ones to change. After all we have commited to a man, gave birth, changed our last name, dress more sexy, cook food, clean the house, wash your horrible dirty laundry, and we don't get any appreciation for it. None..I'll watch his football and basketball, but you guys needs to start watching supernanny and extreme makeover home edition for us.
2007-03-05 03:25:55 · answer #9 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't want someone to try and change me...so I wouldn't ever date someone whos lifestyle/style/hobbies were so far off that I couldn't agree with them.
2007-03-05 03:24:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋