what would u do (weight issue)?

Question

Ive been married for some time. when I first met my wife see was slender now that time has gone on she has gained weight. we both work long hours so going to the gym is not an option. and for the ones who want to critasize me Iam athletic my job keeps me that way. And I know as we get old things change but come on

Answer 1

You are not the first person to ask this kind of question. And you'll be eaten alive by women who will call you shallow and a jerk because you are supposed to love your wife no matter what. But, the truth is (and us women forget) that men are visual, and being such, we need to keep them visually stimulated.

Now, how do you approach this with your wife without hurting her feelings? Start doing activities together. Don't tell her that her butt is too big! Just suggest some things that you can do together. Maybe you can start making some dinners that are good but low calorie.

How do I know all of this?? Well, I got my own wake up call from my husband...only he didn't suggest that we do activities together. No, he went the other way and it hurt me deeply.

Answer 2

I think you need to talk to her and find out why she is gaining weight (caution though!). Is she like huge now? Maybe your wife is unhappy and she is an emotional eater. Maybe she can sense that you don't like her body anymore and she is depressed and gaining more weight to spike you (yes some girls are like that) Also she might be bored and eating gives her something to do, a lot of girls munch when they are bored. Probably your wife is not concern about how she looks to you anymore, sometimes when you are so comfortable with a person, you just don't care about your appearances anymore. I think keeping one's body fit is not for the benefits of the partner cos it's your own body and looking good is your own responsibility. Your job keeps you fit but maybe your wife's job is a desk job and and she don't move around much. Look you are obviously bothered about her gaining weight, maybe you should make a bet with her (to cushion the impact of her knowing that you think she's fat), tell her that if she could lose a few pounds then you are going to buy her something that she really wants or you can do whatever she tells you for a week or so (including some bedroom games) so maybe she will be motivated to loose the weight. Make it into a dare or something, it would be more fun but please be prepare for some hell from her too. And hey don't make this into an excuse for you to stray!

Answer 3

Things change with a woman physically often more than they change in a man. A woman gains weight and hits a certain age(after 30 usually) and she'll pay hell to get it off and then there are areas that without surgical help wont come off. It is a fact of life. But you are supposed to love your wife no matter what she looks like how disappointing to hear a man complaining about the way his wife looks. Does she love you does she care for you do you enjoy her company etc...you're sounding a little shallow there. I am 50 lbs heavier than when I got married and I am still sexy( I wasnt a size 5 to start with either thank you very much.) Maybe you ought to help her mentally as in I love you honey i think you're beautiful no matter what you look like if it will make you feel better about yourself to lose weight lets work on it together. Her self esteem probably sucks in the first place due to the weight the LAST thing in the world she needs is for you to not be supportive of her.

Answer 4

I would say that your wife has noticed that she has put on a few pounds. If you have good communication than mention it to her in a way that says I want to help you. Dont make her feel you love her less. Maybe the two of you can start walking in the evening before going to bed or getting up a little early. It will help with the weight as well as the relationship. Another suggestion is you take over the cooking and only cook healthy meals and take healthy lunches. Also breakfast is a very important meal maybe serve her in bed.

Answer 5

Another thing I would tell her is that you've been hearing all of these things on the news about health and getting older and that you love her so much and you want the two of you to be healthy and live for as long as you can and think that both of you should find a way to get exercise into your lives.

Then....this is so key.......when she does start to lose the weight....praise her. Pat her on the butt more, touch her more, tell her how she's "looking even better than before." You have no idea how many women have stopped getting into shape because it seemed to have no effect on their husbands. Yet the reality is that they have noticed and just have not said anything for what ever reason.

Answer 6

I know this is hard to accept and may seem unreasonable, but when you marry them you accept them for who they are. Sometimes weight gain is not by choice(thyroid rpoblems, child bearing, etc.). If it is a matter of overeating and it becomes severe then a doctors visit is necessary. If it's an extra 35 pounds then it might mean she is comfortable wih how she looks. You have the wrong idea when it comes to loving someone, it's who they are inside not outside. You promise to love, honor, and cherish for better or worse. You aren't asked to add only if they stay thin and good looking to me. If looks are such a hangup for you then just date different women for the rest of your life and don't marry anyone. Marriage is a promise to commit to you not a promise to remain a barbie doll. To expect anything more than a sincere and faithful commitment from a wife is immature and childish in a husband. Hope you find your fashion model your looking for. Remember you could get to age 45 and that pretty wife that you may find could use the same attitude as you and want that young good looking stud that you no longer appear to be.

Answer 7

Well why not try and help her get back in shape. Encourage her and take walks after dinner in the evenings. Getting fit and staying fit isnt rocket science. Its a matter of what we put into our bodies and how well we dispose of it through a workout. Create a better atmosphere at home by not keeping crap in the house. Also too much work and no play isnt good either. Make time to be together to do things that are intimate. If you make her feel good about herself then she will want to be fit and trim.

Answer 8

first thigs first you must love your wife no matter what her size but if your feeling uncomfortable about her weight gain she most likley feels worse about it then you do if you have no time for the gym then cook healthier meals order less take out and go for an evening stroll after dinner make dates insteadof to a fancy dinner take her out to a nature trail or a musme something that requires physicall activity what every you do be kind about what you say because if you say hurtful things she will most likely resent you or want nothing to do with you when she losses weight or out of sadness eat more which will cause her to gain more weight if you want to help her then do it together you will love the extra time you spen together and the new shape she will be in

Answer 9

Well since your job keeps you active and athletic then you need to help your wife in some way. Critisism isn't what will help her. Find activities that you both enjoy and start to do them. Bike riding, hiking, swimming, jogging, etc. Doing things together will draw you closer together and it will help her to lose some weight. Good Luck.

Answer 10

I am a personal trainer. I work full time as a secretary and part time with a handful of clients at the gym.....I also have two sons.....NO ONE is so busy they can't afford 20 lousy minutes a day keeping in shape the very vessal that carries them through this life....I am sorry, if I can find the time, so can anybody. No excuses...for anyone that is not in a wheelchair!