Let me start by saying I DO NOT SUSPECT HIM OF CHEATING but I sincerely believe there are things my fiance is not telling me concerning his ex-wife and children. His ex has to call because of the children, however before me he wasn't getting his kids at all. I told him it was unexceptable, that if he would spend time with mine, he needs to see his and he did. However, recently he told me he was "taking a break" from getting the kids. I asked why and he said he was just tired. I've developed an admittedly bad habit of checking his cell for texts and vmails from her (long story) and discovered a new message from a week ago (he didn't listen to it) where she was saying she was sorry for something and hopefully he'll start getting the kids again. I'm thinking WHAT has happened that she's sorry for and that would make him stop getting the kids. If I ask him directly I'll have to fess up to having checked his vmail -but should I be willing to do that to find out what the hell is going?
2007-03-05 03:05:41 · 8 answers · asked by Brandy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Great advice OneLove, but how did you know that he had 4 children? I never mentioned the number. Unless you read a previous question/answer of mine? And nightmare, did you even READ my question. It said nothing about my wanting and not getting trust and respect from him.
2007-03-05 03:26:56 · update #1
My initial thought is that she tried to make a move on him and he rejected it.
But you won't find out without asking.
My suggestion would be for you to tell your husband that you miss his kids being around and when does he think the next time will be when they'll come over. It will sound much better than sounding suspicious. If he tells you that he doesn't know then I would ask him what's going on over there and if its that he needs a break from having all 4 kids then you'd be more than happy to take responsibility for all of them for the weekend.
Making the situation more about you and less about him and why not, will get him to open up.
Good Luck!
2007-03-05 03:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by jlonva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you date - much less marry - a man who obviously has no interest in kids...and you have kids??? I think the bigger issue aside from the phone call - is the fact that he obviously doesn't want his own kids around?! This should scare you! What would happen to your kids if something happened to you? Do you really think 10 years down the line that things will change and he'll all of a sudden cherish his kids? You don't trust him - you proved that by hacking into his cell phone...why would you marry this guy? You already know that he sucks as a father...and you know that he isn't telling you the truth and maybe, pehaps might be cheating on you. Sounds like a BAD combination for marriage.
2007-03-05 11:10:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe his Ex is giving him a hard time because he is getting married with you, tell your self that if he is not with her no more he wont go back, and tell him that his kids are not part time kids that need a part time dad and that he should take his responsibility's as a man even if it didn't work out with there mother. The kids should not pay if he is mad at the mother.Kids need a dad also. And you don't need to snoop around, trust him and be with him when he needs to talk, don't get involved in there problems
2007-03-05 11:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Gab♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you don't trust him and sneek behind his back to check his stuff without his permission. but you want him to trust you? interesting. my advice, STOP CHECKING HIS MESSAGES BEHIND HIS BACK!!! if you expect respect or trust from any individual it's a two way street. this is also the kind of thing that drives guys nuts. i mean really, it's not just an invasion of privacy it's women saying your above the rules you set for us. so i'd say tell him and stop doing it. if he trusts you still, he'll stay with you. there is often times a good reason for why guys don't tell chicks everything. imagine if she had come onto him and tried to get into his pants but he handled it and left. then told you that. it would cause a shi.t storm when the problem had already been resolved. so stop being to petty and trust him or don't trust him and be ready to loose it all when he finds out.
2007-03-05 11:15:36 · answer #4 · answered by nightmare_gorilla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still ask him without admitting youre a snoop. See if at any time you can ease into a conversation about what's going on. There shouldn't be any secrets at all between you two. Talk Talk Talk! :) good luck.
2007-03-05 11:13:58 · answer #5 · answered by ashalarocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your gut!!!!! Fess up to checking his phone and then ask him what happened. You are his wife he should not be hiding this or anything else from you.
2007-03-05 11:18:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the more you nagg the less he will tell you, give him time. There can be no love without trust!
2007-03-05 11:11:17 · answer #7 · answered by shocker83_fear_me23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is cheating....face it!
2007-03-05 11:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by Katherine A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋