my husband asked for a divorce last week, so i finished up the paper work and filled for full custody over our newborn. I then stopped talking to him for the rest of the week and he ended up BEGGING me to see his child so then tried to be civel with him and let him have her last Saturday. When he came to pick her up he immedietly asked what time he could drop her off. He said he was going to a concert tonight with his best guy friend...needless to say i found out he was lying and was actually on a date with a 17yr old girl from his work (he's 24). So basically he traded one child for another child. (This girl is the reason our marriage fell apart.) and let me remind you we are not yet divorced...so I called and ripped him a new one and told him he would need to take me to court if he ever wanted to see his child again. He showed up at my house and begged and beged but i have just had enough! I slammed the door on his face.
my question is what would you have done in the same situation?
2007-03-05 03:01:02 · 22 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you did the right thing also keep a record and date for the court so you and get full custody of your child also tell the court about his bad judgment while he was to watch his child and you cant trust him also file for a restraining order to keep him away because he not stablity good luck the sad part he never know what he missing and what he had was a great family just for a booty call i hope its was worth it to him
2007-03-05 04:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry that you are going through this, I hope that things work out for you. As for your question I too would not let him see your child. If he wants parental rights then he will have to go to court and fight for them. However seeing this happen a few times before I want to let you know that unless there is really good reason that he should not see his child the court will most likely grant him some parental rights. In this case just be as civil to him as possible, fighting amongst parents is never good for the child.
2007-03-05 03:10:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Save all the drama. You need to create a stable environment for you and your child. If your marriage is over then so be it. Dont battle or be vindictive just move on. He has every right to see his child so create amicable terms that allows him to do so. That being said he probably cheated on you with this 17 year old. This marriage must have been over long before that. Move on in the most amicable way possible. Stop slammin doors and yellin.
2007-03-05 03:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by Devdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As I can understand how angry and betrayed you are feeling, trust me, the reason for the break up has nothing to do with that 17 year old girl. She was just the reason things got pushed as far as it has. Something was already wrong in the marriage in order for it to have crumbled as it did. As much as I can understand your hurt feelings, you are wrong in using his child as a way to get back at him as this will only hurt the child who is innocent of all of this. A court of law would lean towards his right to see his daughter. As a parent you are now obligated to think of what is best for your child and this will need to be done at the cost of your emotional feelings of betrayal.
2007-03-05 03:14:02 · answer #4 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I probably would have done the same thing. What you need to do now is focus on yourself and your child. Get a good lawyer, file for full custody, child support and alimony. Be grateful that this happened now, not ten years from now. You and your child will be much better off without him, you need a man dedicated to you and your child and eventually you will find one, but first give yourself time to heal.
2007-03-05 03:10:43 · answer #5 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortuantley i think your a making the wong choice here your husband might be the biggest jerk in the world but he is still the fahter of your child and it would be wrong to your child to take away thier father i know your angry and hurt but dont let your child suffer for the wrong he did because a child needs tow parents anf for the many of women who wish thier childs father wanted to spen time with thier child you are fortunate
2007-03-05 03:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i commend you on your ability to hold him accountable. My opinion on so-called "men" who do this are just looking for a replacement for their mother that they can have sex with, or just looking for a receptacle to deposit their selfish boy koolaid into wih no real tenderness or sense of responsibility.
i would like to see these lost souls stripped of their ability to father children so that they, by their sterility, would be forced to have sex with either machines or blow-up dolls so that they can't perpetrate their selfishness on unsuspecting and velnerable ladies who just want to share their love with a comanion of the male gender.
Know that you, and your sweet blessing of a child, will be in my prayers and thoughts and that somehow, some way, you find a way to trust men again because i kno that somewhere there is a REAL MAN who will accept your child as his own and love you as you deserve to be loved, and cherished. After all, you are also a child of God, and that immature child in a 24 yr old body ( he is too ) will suffer the result of his own behavior when the 17 yr old leaves him for someone else.
2007-03-05 03:13:17 · answer #7 · answered by Master Ang Gi Guong 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i been some of that, atleast the cheating part, after many years being together and then being married, but i learned you cannot take it out on the child, neither know how much it hurts you what he is doing to you, especially with someone so young, but you cant take away the privledges of him seeing his child, if he is showing any iresponsibility towards the child, and you dont trust him, that is one thing, you need to take this up with social services, cause he will eventually anyway, so be the first to state your opinion and facts of what is going on
2007-03-05 03:08:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let my lawyer know that I intened to sue for adultrey and wanted full custody (with visitation) and a lot of child support. Forget wasting time arguing with the soon -to -be- ex. He obviously is too immature to warrant good judgement by dating a minor when he is barely seperated from his wife - I wouldn't trust him to properly care for my child.
2007-03-05 03:05:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
just because he isnt feeling you anymore that doesnt mean that he shouldnt be allowed to see his daughter ( in my opinion )
I'm sure when all is said and done the courts will at least give him minimal visitation priveleges.
Ok so he's a d*ck for what he did to YOU but does that make it right for YOU to decide that your daughter will have not have a relationship with him.
He's not trying to get you back he just wants to see his kid.
2007-03-05 03:29:23 · answer #10 · answered by RedEye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋