Should I tell people the REAL REASON why we are separated?
He is going around telling people that I am an alcoholic and crazy, neither of which is remotely true. He actually left to be with another woman in the neighborhood. He is trying to hide that because he wants to appear to be the family man good guy. Should I tell the truth? Some advise that I should just keep it to myself.
I am asking this again because someone wanted to know why I was not saying. Maybe that will make a difference in the responses. I'm protecting him. I don't want to tarnish his reputation. Isn't that sick?
2007-03-05 02:52:00 · 19 answers · asked by tiaburkeangry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, this is tricky. You are to be commended for not indulging in mudslinging, and the people who know you best know what is true. But, you need to have a concern for your own reputation. His actions are his business and his reputation is as well. The truth is the truth. No you don't want your kids needlessly dragged through the adult drama. But I'd consider protecting them before protecting him. Cheaters don't deserve protection. And you, the mother of the kids, won't be helping much by allowing rumors about you to build.
You don't have to be explicit about the "real reason" . You culd just say something subtle like " he couldn't keep it zipped." If he thinks his whoring around will stay under wraps forever, he is mistaken.
2007-03-05 03:01:35 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs excuses for their actions so take this from me if you want everyone to know your personal business then go ahead and speak the truth but it won't change anything,it will only help with your emotions but why do that when you have family to confide in.Tell them the truth if you need a shoulder to cry on or support because what goes around comes around and that's the truth. He'll get his, they always do. It may not be tomorrow or the next but it will come back around. Good Luck.
2007-03-05 11:05:56 · answer #2 · answered by pixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt if anyone will believe the lies he is telling. It is no ones business why you two living apart. (Not getting a divorce? interesting) Even if you told people he left for another woman his reputation would not be "tarnished". Why do you feel compelled to say anything about your personal life to people?
People will make there own judgment (if they even care to,and most give a hoot) by how you and him act in the future. You play it kool and upscale. Leave him in the gutter.
2007-03-05 11:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"He is going around telling people." What's he doing, going door to door? *knock knock* "Excuse me, may I have a moment of your time, sir? I just want to let you know that I left my wife because she is a crazy alcoholic. Thank you very much, and have a great day!" Yeah, I don't think so.
What I'm saying is this: if someone asks, sincerely, tell him the truth. But your husband is not going around with a bull horn, and neither should you. You have no obligation to make up lies on his behalf. However, it would be wrong of you to go around spreading the filthy truth to just anybody who will listen. Be true to yourself, while still maintaining an acceptable degree of restraint and courtesy, and you won't go wrong.
2007-03-05 10:59:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go around telling everyone the truth, but if people ask, I would tell them the truth. You don't have to tell them that he is a liar, but you can let them know he left because of another woman. Keep cool, don't get down to his level, and most of all, you don't owe him anything to protect him. He is a jerk according to what you have written.
2007-03-05 11:10:53 · answer #5 · answered by Pluto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not tell people if they ask you the real reason you two split up? i would not lie when people asked me, nor would i protect him. he left you for another woman, and wants to seem a good man? screw that. i wouldn't take out an ad in the paper about him or anything, but there is no way i would lie about what happened. good luck
2007-03-05 10:57:07 · answer #6 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off,why do you care what others think of you.If they think of you like that ,let them ask you and then tell them the True story.HOLD YOUR HEAD UP you know how much of a better person you are than he is.He is only hurting him self,for when the real truth is known.Don't go DOWN to his low level.Be the GOOD WOMAN you sound like you are.
2007-03-05 11:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by Goodfellar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I answered your question the last time you posted it, and my response hasn't changed. You are not protecting his reputation by letting the truth come out on it's own, you are protecting your reputation! He is the one that will look bad only because the things that he spews.
2007-03-05 10:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What about your reputation? If you don't say something, this will follow you from now on. I'm sure his friends/family ...someone.....knows why he left. He won't be able to tuck this other woman in his pocket and no one find out about her! You better start thinking about yourself, because obviously, he is not! Stand up for yourself and move on.....his loss.
2007-03-05 11:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by Lovinlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He`s doing his best to tarnish yours!!!!! Why protect him? Tell the truth! Keeping it to yourself will only hurt you!
2007-03-05 11:08:42 · answer #10 · answered by MISTY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋