'm 6 months pregnant. I am with the father and we have a good relationship. He has a son from his last relationship, with whom he was married to the mother. Still is. Since they split up, he has not gone to get a legal seperation let alone a divorce, mostly due to financial reasons. I have a daughter from a previous relationship also. I am currently in process of changing her last name (deadbeat dad) to my maden name and told my boyfriend that I am giving the baby my last name as well even though we are together. Being because of the fact of him not even starting the papers for a divorce and him and I are not married. This has been an issue and I told him if he didn't start it at least, that I would not give the baby his last name. I do not see us getting married for quite some time due to this so I want myself and my two children to all share my name. If something were to happen in the future I will be the one raising both kids full time. Should I feel bad about this? or is it logical
2007-03-05 02:26:23 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Of course you shouldnt feel bad. Im 4 months and I want my baby with MY LAST name. Why?? because he is my "boyfriend" and for all I know, in the future he will disapear on me and find another girlfriend and have another baby with her and so on. If you guys WERE married and had that "prefect" "marriage" then yes of course the baby deserves the husbands last name. but if your last name isn't his, then why should your baby's?. .you cant predict the future and you dont want to have a mistake done twice since your trying to change your daughters last name also. Just put it as yours, and then wait to see what hapens in the future. Dont do anything you might regret.
2007-03-05 02:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by curious789 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of a hard call. But ever since I was 4 my mom and step-dad, who I lived with during the school year, had a different last name then me. It never caused any real problems, but sometimes it was annoying. It was really obvious and embarrassing that everyone automatically knew my parent's were divorced. And I always felt I needed to explain why my mom's name was different then mine. Even now when people ask what my maiden name is I have to explain everything all over again. The real question is if you do ever marry anyone, are you planning on changing your last name to theirs? And if you do that are you going to change all of the kid's names too? It would be easier to explain that they have their dad's last names, then that they have your old last name which was your maiden name.
2007-03-05 02:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by mommyem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smart move. If something should happen in the future, and you two are not together, both of your children will have your name. He does'nt deserve the honor of your child carrying his last name just because he knocked you up. He has to earn that right. Sounds to me like he's got a lot of earning to do, and alot of growing up. Don't feel bad, it's the right thing to do.
2007-03-05 02:38:45 · answer #3 · answered by Carrie C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, just so you know, you haven't made this baby alone. Since the father is not giving you a hard time recognizing this kid as his, and you are still in a relationship, and also he is demanding this. You should give his last name to the kid. he IS the father, and your son/daughter will know about this fact. It's a matter of respect.
2007-03-05 02:37:34 · answer #4 · answered by Alex the Great 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It makes perfect sense for you to give your last name to your children. My older sister did the same with her two children, for similar reasons that you are considering. Don't feel bad about it at all, it makes logical sense.
2007-03-05 02:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by mybebegwen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
mmm... i dont know waht id do in your situation and dont really know how you feel about it so im not sure. im 18 weeks and not married to my partner, we are together 100% and live together and since i found out i was pregnant, there was never any doubt that my baby would have his last name.
good luck
2007-03-05 02:35:41 · answer #6 · answered by Şơƥɦɨȩ'ȿ ♡Μυɱ˗Μυɱ♡ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, i do not think you should feel bad at all. you are going to be the one taking care of the children, they should have your name. and if he doesn't want to step up and take care of both of you, why give the child his last name.
2007-03-05 02:31:07 · answer #7 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please give the baby your last name. I made the mistake of giving my son his fathers last name (we were not married) & now I regret it to high heaven.
2007-03-05 02:36:18 · answer #8 · answered by lovemy2babies 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very logical. sounds like your "still married" boyfriend needs to wake up a little.
2007-03-05 02:30:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. I would give your new child the same name as your older child and yourself.
2007-03-05 02:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by Cissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋