How do you like this poem?

Question

Dream


I died in a dream and was revived
I died when the sun exploded
The world was blackened
I could feel a lot of heat
and I could hear my thoughts

I died in a dream
Flying through the universe
Like a protector of the galaxy
In the middle of nowhere

Answer 1

Try writing your poems without using the word I.
This will help you become more akin at showing rather than telling which is staple point of all good poetry.

Answer 2

intertesting
to say the least
deeper than deep
i would think
but thought controls all things
in this world of ours

and you dreams come from afar
so take heed to your dreams
they are your guiding streams
of what tomorrow will bring

Answer 3

You might have a good idea for a poem somewhere in there, but as it is it's too abstract -- not vivid enough -- fails to draw the reader in.

Answer 4

Very negative. I hope you won't be offended. Try to compose cheerful poems. If you can make sure inspirational negative poems like this, then why don't you use this talent in composing very positive inspirational poems? This is just my own opinion. Thank you.

Answer 5

nice poem

Answer 6

not bad..
how bot change this line..

The world was dark.