Tell reasons why not to get married but still build a family and a life with that person.
2007-03-05 01:47:17 · 13 answers · asked by destiney 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not married. I have a built a life with my partner. We have been together for over five years, lived together for four, we have our own home and mortgage, a dog, three cats, the whole shebang.
I love him with all my heart and plan to spend the rest of my life with him. We have pledged that to one another many times.
And SHOCK HORROR! We had our first child in November. She was planned and joyfully looked forward to.
Commitment is in your heart, it does not matter whether you have pledged to stay together forever in front of a room full of people, that does not make it any more or less likely that you will.
We are married in all but name, and may well marry someday, however I will not be inviting anyone but the two witnesses required by law, and these will be strangers. The reason for this is that I can think of nothing more provate that my innermost feelings for the love of my life. It does not need saying to anyone else, they see us together. They know.
Better for our daughter for us to love each other dearly and choose every day to be with each other, than stay together because of some contract and vows that were made X number of years ago.
Marriage is not the only choice, nor does it mean your relationship is somehow less if you haven't donned a white dress, cut a cake and sobbed through the speeches.
Commitment is what you make it, married or not.
2007-03-05 02:32:52 · answer #1 · answered by Up-side-down 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people just see a marriage certificate as a piece of paper. The real commitment happens inside your heart, not on a document that gets filed in an office somewhere.
Some people are afraid to get married because of what they saw their parents go through. They think that by avoiding the "marriage" part, they will avoid the problems, too.
Some people just want the freedom to cut and run if it comes down to that (even though they never will). Being married ties them down to the same person, even if they love them with all their heart.
Some people see it as a way of rebelling against societal norms (going against what society and religion tell us) because it's a way of breaking down those structures. Not getting married is a political statement.
Personally, I think marriage is a beautiful symbol of commitment.
2007-03-05 01:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only reason not to get married is because you don't want a divorce. Which is ironic, as married couples tend to stay together more.
A marriage is a contract which protects all parties. Especially the children.
2007-03-05 01:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the only reasons are for convenience IF the plan is to walk away at some point. From an insurance, taxation, legal standpoint, shacking up doesn't pass the test. But if you want the abiltiy to pack your duds and skedaddle when you get tired of trying to make it work, then by all means, live together.
2007-03-05 01:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by Shredded Cottage Cheese 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't care whether or not you ever get married. Whether or not you can sustain a strong, long-term relationship is the real question. The marriage part of it is a minor detail if you have love and trust.
But...you should not even consider spawning children unless you're married. That's irresponsible, and the kids deserve better than that.
2007-03-05 02:00:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if u would want to spend your life with someone and build a family with them, then you should want to marry them, thats what spending ur life with someone is- being committed to someone for life. why wouldnt u want to solidify that notion with loving vows- you're obviously going to share a home together and mesh your views and morales to raise children...
if u dont wanna marry someone, u shouldnt want to build a family with them
2007-03-05 01:59:26 · answer #6 · answered by ibreathefashion 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait a second..........why build a life and a family with somebody wthout being married? What good could come from that???? And why would any woman in her right mind live with a man, have sex with a man, and have that man's children without a commitment from him to always lover her, honor, and cherish her in sickness and in health????? (and people wonder why kids grow up so screwed up these days)
2007-03-05 01:51:03 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Move in together. It's that simple. Goldie Hawn and Kirk Russell have done it for over 20 years, and they have children.
2007-03-05 01:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are going to have children then I HIGHLY suggest you do get married.
Good luck!
2007-03-05 01:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no reason. If you do not love them enough for marriage....you do not need to be building anything with them. Period.
2007-03-05 01:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by mikey 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋