a lady staying with a man who brutally beats her up(over little things) and after which sex her up pratically everyday . the sickening part was the woman treats the beating up as a foreplay and enjoys the sex part. despite feeling violated she just cant stop this stupid cycle..what advise can i give so that this woman stop behaving in a destructive way .. if the men is reported will dere be any case?
please help
2007-03-05 01:33:29 · 16 answers · asked by CT T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to get her to a shrink. If the guy is reported (in the US) and she has bruises or cuts, he will be arrested even if she doesn't want him to be.
2007-03-05 01:36:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she is sick but he is sicker. She does this because she thinks the sex validates that he really loves her. She has such low self esteem any attention is good attention. Until he puts her in the hospital there is not much you can do unless you call the police in the middle of an altercation and then they have to take him in. But unless she is ready to be gone when he gets back, she is in more danger of being killed when he gets back than before. Sadly, the ball is in the court of someone who no longer knows how to play the game by the rules. If you put pressure on her to go to a shelter, she will leave there and go back to him or even worse, they often call the perpetrator to come pick them up from the shelter. You don't say that there are children involved but the authorities would be forced into doing something if there are kids in this atmosphere. All you can do is talk to her and hope eventually she will get tired of it but don't count on it. Tell her you will be there to help the cops find her body. Maybe that will shock her back to reason.
2007-03-05 09:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by moonrose777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really cant decide who is more sickening the abusive guy or the woman who encourages this kind of behavior by putting up with it. Domestic violence usually gets worse with time, so there is no future in this kind of a relationship. You can suggest, shelter, pressing charges etc. but she probably knows what to do, just chooses not to.
2007-03-05 09:43:24 · answer #3 · answered by cimra 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman is in a cycle which is difficult to break! Chances are high that she would not see any court case through to conviction, what she needs is expert help to break the cycle. You can help to try and pesuade her to seek help from a battered woman refuge, but until she decides she has had enough there isnt a lot you can do except be there for her.
2007-03-05 09:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by huggz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think if someone reports him there would have to be evidence of abuse or she would have to filecharges, but from what you are saying sounds like she wouldnt file charges.... all you can do is talk to her and give her some places to go to to seek help.... I have a dear friend who is in an on and off physical abusive marriage and anything I say she just keeps making execuses and feels that he has not been as bad as he was in the past.. all i do is listen nothing I can really do or say changes her mind.... so just be there as much as you can for her for support....
2007-03-05 09:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is weird. she needs counseling she is a battered women she was probably battered for so long or grew up seeing this she think it is normal behavior. If you reported and you do have the right to do this, the wife would have to file charges-get a restraining order against him, then they would investigate. but only after she files charges. If the police are there and actually see him abuse her then they can take the guy in.
Speaking from experience!
2007-03-05 09:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she enjoys is it treats it as foreplay why she needs an advice? Fact that you (as well as I) feel it's seek does not change the fact they accept the relationships. Years back I had neighbor with similar relationship. We as friends did everything to 'help' her. As result she would hide relationship with him but go through same circle. They been married (happily) for 13 years after I tried to "save" her.
2007-03-05 09:40:43 · answer #7 · answered by Remodeling Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one deserves to be physically or emotionally abused. The woman you are speaking of may have low self-esteem. Without knowing anything about her it's difficult for anyone to speculate.
I think there's definitely something wrong with her (and him) but that's only my opinion. Successful relationships are built on love and respect. The relationship she has obviously isn't, but I think it's up to her to change it.
Maybe you could suggest she seek some professional help (counseling) to learn to deal with the abuse. Without it I don't think there's much you can do.
Good luck.
2007-03-05 10:11:04 · answer #8 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she prolly had a really messed up childhood.
she most likely grew up abused and/or without a father.
if the men are reported, she would have to file charges and hold to it for the courts to pursue any kind of case.
2007-03-05 09:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by Chris D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs help asap, call the police and tell them that she is being constantly abused and raped. I doubt very much that she enjoys the abuse. Call the domestic abuse hot line too. Get her some help or you may find that this beast has murdered her one day. He needs to be in prison.
2007-03-05 09:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by flieder77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋