2007-03-05 01:00:20 · 9 answers · asked by psychologist 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
It is not love, as such, that makes us suffer; it is our possessiveness – our ego-centered desire to own, control, and cling to the "object" of our love. The powerful emotions and the deep sense of intimacy that come with love are wonderful, but in the context of the on-going delusions that keep us from truly understanding ourselves, these powerful pleasures can become equally powerful pains. It turns out that the "object" of our love is not really an object at all. Love is a process. Each of us is a process. There is, in reality, no thing to be possessed. But our egos don't understand this. We see the world as a collection of objects, and we see ourselves as a objects within the world. We are mistaken about this, and it is this mistake that leads to so much suffering.
Not only other people, but even love itself is seen as an object by our deluded egos. Objects can be acquired and lost. Objects typically become the means by which we keep score. Competition is based on objectification. We compete with each other in order to acquire objects, and to keep objects within our possession. We use objects in order to acquire more objects, and fight to maintain the objects that we possess. We live in constant fear that we will not be able to possess the objects we desire. We live in constant fear that we will lose the objects that we have acquired. This constant fear and insecurity is what leads to suffering. Whenever we view love as an object, we will suffer. Whenever we view other people as objects, we will suffer. It is not true love for people that makes us suffer, it is an ego-centered craving for objects that makes us suffer.
Living life fully and being emotionally alive will always involve pain, but pain is not the same as suffering. Suffering occurs when there is pain without a deeper sense of meaning. Compassion is the root of meaning. Suffering occurs when an ego-centered being lacking compassion turns his or her pain into an object of hatred and thus loses sight of the bittersweet nobility of their wounds. To sacrifice for another is painful, but the tears of such sacrifice are not entirely negative. They are not the tears of utter despair, hopelessness, and tragedy. They are the tears of compassion and painful growth. Even in the midst of this pain and emotional force, a part of us can understand these positive aspects and appreciate them for what they are. If we are not compassionate then our pain feels meaningless, and we are filled with despair. This is suffering. To the extent that we can free ourselves from the sticky web of "object-lusts" and simply treasure the miracle of being in each moment – to this extent we can live and love without suffering, even when we are in pain.
2007-03-05 01:20:16 · answer #1 · answered by eroticohio 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Love is a wonderful place to be...it never hurt anyone...or killed anyone. We humans put all the pain in love with our selfishness, our wants, our ideas. We decide that love equals good feelings. The involvement of two people play the parts of love. The people determine how long love lasts, how sacred the love is, or if there will even be love.
Love doesn't make us suffer...we make us suffer in love.
2007-03-08 04:16:13 · answer #2 · answered by missellie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love itself does not make us suffer...we make ourselves suffer in the name of love by giving up control of our own emotions to someone who does not deserve it. True love does have any negative emotions attached to it such as suffering.
2007-03-05 01:08:54 · answer #3 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because:
Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Im young, I know,
But even so
I know a thing, or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot,
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when its hot
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
Theyre not foolin me
I know it isnt true,
I know it isnt true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts
Ooh,ooh love hurts
2007-03-05 01:15:02 · answer #4 · answered by txmom81 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mechanical imagination and desire for contrast, makes us suffer. More simply put it is focus, and more simply yet again, it is sleep, the sleep of the walking dead.
2007-03-09 03:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by canron4peace 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why does life make us suffer?
2007-03-05 01:20:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every weakness can cause us suffering... and after all, love is indeed a great weakness!!
2007-03-05 01:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by small 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to learn
2007-03-07 17:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by chiz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to make you humble
2007-03-05 15:34:14 · answer #9 · answered by mochi.girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋