I'm feeling guilty,should I do this?

Question

I became deeply infatuated with my hubby's brother and I feel AWFUL about it.I feellike the only way I can feel better about this is if I admit this to my spouse and his and apologize for my impure thoughts.I know this will cause trouble but I don't know what other way to free myself from the guilt........Is this a good idea? What should I do?

Answer 1

Looks like it will only make things worse. Try to de-infatuate yourself. It's the only solution.

Answer 2

This is such a bad idea. If you had acted on these feelings then you would have to step up and confess what you had done. You just developed feelings though and things like that happen.I know you must feel awful but as long as you put these feelings aside you have done all you can do that will help the situation.Telling your husband and your sister in law will only make it worse. They will always think about the feelings you had and it will cause more harm than good. Being sorry for your feelings is enough.

Answer 3

I think you should tell your spouse but never let it get back to the brother b/c that just gives him the thoughts of messing with if he is into you. Also it make you the drama queen but by telling just your hubby it is showing him you love him and you just want the temptation to go away. Stay away from the brother and if you are one of those ppl that has to be crushing on somebody then do it at a place you go and to someone you know you will never talk to. If this is just a one time thing then it will pass as soon as you spend time away and spend more time with your hubby.

Answer 4

I wouldn't. No need to get something awkward started when nothing has happened. Adoration and crushes come and go. Get your priorities straight and realize your only responsibility in this is to remain true and faithful to your husband. Nothing has been spoken or acted upon, so remove yourself from the situation and make yourself stop even considering it. If the feelings become stronger and you feel that you want to act upon them, then I'd have that discussion with your husband, but until then, just leave well enough alone!

Answer 5

Since you apparently have not acted on this issue, may I suggest you speak to your minister or priest before making your " thoughts" public.

You take the chance of ruining your family and causing "The Green Eyed Monster Of Jealousy" to possible erupt and that harm is one not easily gotten thru.

Unless your fascination in your mind has gotten to the point that your wanted to purposely damage every ones life to make your daydream thoughts MAYBE BUT NOT LIKELY come true, and if that is the case then you need to consult a professional and discuss these issues.

Answer 6

Your trying to deceive yourself...you're just want to reveal to your brother in law your feelings for him...in your disturbed mind...this feels appropriate to you doing it this way...you secretly hope your brother in law will act upon the information and if he doesn't ...you think your husband will buy the story that you were trying to do the right thing...You just don't want to risk telling your brother in law directly...have him deny you...then tell your brother and you would be left in the cold on both sides of the fence...You have been selfish in allowing yourself these thoughts...and you are being selfish now...under the illusion that you are trying to do something right...you need to just figure out how to get over it on your own...He is off limits...love the man you made a commitment to...We ALL feel less in love with our spouses at different times...you have to choose to love sometimes...and then when you aren't paying attention...you "feel" that love again in it's fullness... Good luck.

Answer 7

NO! It will only cause trouble amongst the ENTIRE FAMILY! And don't act on it either! Just start spending more time with your hubby and quit thinking about your brother in law in that way. If you open your mouth about those feelings that you have it can do no good to anyone!

Answer 8

Nothing wrong with honesty, but I don't believe it's a good good subject to bring it out to the open as you may not get the reaction you expect. I'm assuming that your actions has not passed from your thoughts. So keep it there and don't feel guilty about it, you are only human. Men pass through this basically every day for every pretty girl that passes by, but you are not going to hear any of them saying anything to their wives or girlfriends. It's human and it's animal instinct, our difference is that we have control of our actions.... not our thoughts.

Answer 9

Keep your mouth shut! You already know that it's wrong to have these feelings, so deal with them alone. If you admit to your husband, and sister-in-law, what you've felt; you'll end up in divorce court. It's OK to be attracted to another man, just so you don't act of the feelings. Good luck!

Answer 10

Come on!!!! Get a grip. Your borderline Jerry Springer here. If your husband and his brother grew up together, they most likely have the same traits, just different ways of showing them to the world. Work out what you like about his brother (even if you do it on paper) and then look for those traits in your husband. If it's purely physical, you need to get back to reality!!

Answer 11

if it doesn't feel right don't do it, pray for these thoughts to go away. infatuation means nothing unless u act on them. i would not be too candid with my hubby, if these are only thoughts, u can control your thoughts. pray, ask forgiveness of god, and forgive yourself. it is natural for us to became infatuated, and notice other men, as long as u don't act on your thoughts. as long as u don't cross the line, i wouldn't say anything to your husband, this will pass.