will i get access of my child in court???

Question

i split with my ex 6 months ago she made it hard for me to see my child so i only gave her money when i did e.g didnt see her for a month but when i did i gave her 4 weeks money £120 now shes gone to cas im happy with this cos my child will get her money every week even when she stops me from seeing her as i have to drive 50 miles to give her it i havent seen my child for 2 months so im taking her to court iv never been violent to my childs mum or my child i admit there as been abusive texts sent to to her but only cos shes sent them to me i know this is stupid but im so frustrated that i dont see my child im not a drug addict or anything like that all i wont is to be in my childs life and be there for her my names not on birth certificate but she accepts that i am the farther will i get accses in court ?? will i get farthers rights ?? and the worst thing im thinking wot if she dosnt show up at court ?? iv paid my solicitor to take her to court will i have to pay again ? im from uk

Answer 1

To be honest i dont think the judges take much notice of texts as long as they are not threatening, it is highly unlikly from what you have said that they will not allow you access to your daughter and it wont matter about the birth cert because she has filed through csa and named you as dad. Im not sure if you can get parental responsibilitie if your names not on birth cert. so maybe you need to apply to have that ammended. if she doesnt turn up at court it will be adjorned once then next time they make a ruling in her absence. but yes you pay your solicitor for whatever time they spend on your case, sometimes costs can be given to your ex but i think this is quite rare. good luck

Answer 2

The more reliable and steadfast you show yourself to be as a parent the more likely that the courts will not only grant you regular access but also back you up in the event that things are made untenably difficult for you even with access.

You mention that you have paid sporadically for your daughter, based on whether you are seeing her or not. I think,(and this is only my opinion) that you will be judged more favourably if you pay weekly(or even better in advance at the start of the month) via standing order at the bank regardless of whether you see her or not.

This shows that you are willing to support your daughter financially regardless of your ex's actions-and that you appreciate that children do not eat retrospectively. It also helps determine that your taking her to court is not a 'tit for tat' action and that you are serious in your endeavours. You may also find that because you and your ex no longer have to mention money you will start to communicate in a more constructive manner long term.

By paying via the bank you will always have a documented record of any money paid to your ex so that in the event that the CSA question what payments you have made when you will have proof of what was paid when-and that it's regular. Paying in cash is fine but it leaves you vulnerable to claims of non-payment in the long term.

As regards the court hearing I suspect, although I am no expert, that they would adjourn the case in the first instance until she can appear, but may well hear in her absence if it becomes clear that she has no intention of putting in an appearance. Ask your solicitor-he or she should be able to answer any questions that you may have more accurately-and tell you what the next steps would be.

I'm aware that it must be hard to 'do the right thing' financially while you feel that your rights as a father are being denied but prove your worth by paying regardless(your daughter is the one who benefits long term) and ignore any abusive texts or phone calls-and definately do not respond in kind as that kind of infantile behaviour will most certainly be frowned upon by the justice system.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I would assume that some of the laws (basic decency) are the same in the UK, as they are here in the States.

Everytime you give her money, write down the amount and the date.
Everytime you have contact with her, write down the date, who initiated the contact and the reason for the contact. make sure you write down any "threats" (you won't see your child, etc.)
Everytime you see her or your child, write it down.

Give all this information to your lawyer (solicitor),

Since you have not had any problems (no violence towards either, not a drug addict) you will almost certainly get some rights to her.

The first thing that you need to do is have your lawyer (solicitor) make a motion to the court for a paternity (DNA) test. If, it comes back that you are the childs father, you can then get that changed on the birth certificate.

If you are NOT the father, she may have to re-imburse you for the money that you have given her in child support and other expenses.

Good luck.

Answer 4

This is an unfortunate case as in so many splits.Unfortunately for you paying maintenance doesn't guarentee you access rights....And also if she doesnt show at court theres really not alot you can do about it.If there are any women out there that could answer honestly Why do women make it so difficult for ex husbands or partners to see their kids?
If your ex is on benefits,the money you pay the CSA will cover her benefits and any thats left over will go to her,but this will be very little,as the CSA take 70p out of every pound they collect.....Solicitors are only after your money and will drag everything out to make more from you....Try and get free advice,CAB etc or Fathers for Justice.They will give you any advice you need for a small contribution.
As for the txts,dont worry about it,things happen in the heat of the moment and when you're going through a split its hard to think normally..Emotions are a real difficult thing to handle,there are no experts when it comes to matters of the heart.Its easy for people who arent involved to give advice,it wont affect them if the advice is wrong,will it?
Stop finding fault with yourself for 1 thing,take a step back and try your best to think logically,Do you have a good friend you could discuss this with,some you trust 100%
Listen to them or better still do you have any mates who have been through the same?
Remember any silly actions you do,or threats you make will be used against you if she does end up going to court,so think twice before you do anything that might ruin your chances of seeing your child..Its hard,thats all I can say,you cant see any light at the end of the tunnel,but try to stay calm..
Things will work out in the end,maybe not in your interest but thats life,sometimes things happen over which we have no control.
Good luck,stay calm and think responsibly....Dont do anything you'll regret.....For your sake if no one elses.

Answer 5

i dint know about the uk but here in the states the child support and the visitation is two separate issues.i hope all works out with you and your child its hard right now but stay strong and with the help of your lawyer and the courts this will be sorted out.i think as for the question about having to pay again if she doesn't show up for court i don't think so its decided then and there and her not showing up wouldn't look very good on her part so calm down and see where this goes good luck

Answer 6

I am not sure how the court system works in the UK, but I am assuming it has some of the same laws regarding minor children.
-First, child support & visitation are 2 seperate items.
-pay any monies through the court if there is a case number, or if not always pay with a traceble form of payment w/ copies for your records.
-go ahead b4 court to order a paternity test to be done asap, so that you know if you have any rights to the child asap.
-get the support amount court ordered asap
-document every time you do anything regarding the child or the mother, purchases, calls to attempt to see the child, times that you have gotten to see her/him, etc..
-DO NOT send offensive, violent, or any other derogatory text comments, or voice mails, or engage in that type of conversation with the mother...no matter what!
-if she continually tries to engage you with the above...document it word for word, copy, or record (depending on your laws), definately document it. if the communication is physically threatening towards you, take it to the police to have them document it also.

Answer 7

The courts will put your childs` interests first. A relationship with both parents is important. As long as you have not given them any cause for concern then you should get access.

Answer 8

so long the child is yours you will have right for your dchild, what you need to do is to continue supporting your child. As he grows on he will try to trace who has been always supporting him. Pls dont give up even in court. Your rights are there.

Answer 9

If she lives 50 miles away i guess your wanting to have her for whole weekends. Usually the court will listen to the mothers concerns,weather you think your a good dad or not.

Answer 10

hi, the court will just compare the two of your lifestyles, things like do you have stable homes, enough money, history of violence etc. just be positive! it must be hard for you right now, take care!