Okay my best friend met this guy 2 months ago at a bar. She claims that they are destined to be together, but I know a rat when I see one. The guy is totally a free-loader and to top it off he is still currently married to his "wife". I say that in quotation because he says he's getting a divorce but really he won't. He has been borrowing money from her since I can remember but this dude is out to break her heart.
2007-03-05 00:39:33 · 7 answers · asked by Vamphyre 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't be surprised if there's nothing you can do. People usually only take the advice that they want to hear. She won't see him for who he is until something drastic happens.
My suggestion would be for you to express your concerns to her but let her know that you are there for her regardless of what she decides but that you think she is making a serious mistake and you don't want to see her get hurt. If you go to her telling her all negative, she'll just think you're jealous. Maybe suggest slowing things down with him and not letting her get attached to him too quick, until he is divorced.
She probably won't listen but your concern will always be in the back of her mind and will help her be cautious.
2007-03-05 00:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by jlonva 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is blind, but suggest to your friend that if this guy is the one for her that she should test him a little bit for her own sake. The next time he asks for money she should tell him that she is starting to have a few financial problems and tell him she could sure use 40 or so of the money she has already given him. She can tell him that her electric will be shut off, her car insurance is overdue, or any thing like that. If he actually tries to offer some help then you were wrong about him. If not then he is using her. You might also tell her to press him a little by asking when his divorce is going to be final and that she doesn't see dating him much longer if he doesn't pursue his divorce. If he cuts and runs then it'll tell her what kind of guy he really is.
2007-03-05 00:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like the wedding is stopped if he is still married to someone else! But, if this is a really good friend, and you have talked to her, all you can do is stand by her and help her through the pain, cause it will happen. It's sad to see a friend be so stupid and compulsive, but people sometimes have to make their own mistakes and grow from them.
2007-03-05 00:50:08 · answer #3 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In spite of all you feel or even know. It is still her choice. It sounds as though you are worrying too soon. Why are you worried about stopping a wedding when he hasn't even divorced the last one yet? Sounds as though she still has time to find out what he is really like.
2007-03-05 01:00:41 · answer #4 · answered by beebee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What wedding? Your friend is safe as he is not divorced yet. You can point out all you want that this guy is crap but she will have to see it for herself. She does need to stop the money gravy train immediately though.
2007-03-05 00:48:42 · answer #5 · answered by Ker Plunk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They never leave their wives, so I bet you have nothing to worry about. You can't make your friend do anything- she's a grown woman and she has to make her own mistakes and (hopefully) learn from them. All you can do is point out to her that he's mooching off of her and that you're worried about her immediate future. Beyond that, she'll have to deal with her own messes.
2007-03-05 00:51:57 · answer #6 · answered by scouseryank33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let me tell you this - she has to make the mistake on her own - sometimes it takes someone falling flat on their face to realise the mistake that they are making-
all you can do is be her friend express your feelings to her, and stand by her with whatever decision she makes.
(I've personally been thru this - and the boy finally didnt something very obviously poor and she dumped him. YAY!!)
2007-03-05 02:28:58 · answer #7 · answered by Stacey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋