Some say,
Pictures
Last forever.
To bad that we don’t
But the memories that we have,
Will last forever.
Memories are as a circle.
Never ending.
Nor ne’er fading
These memories,
are precious as diamonds and rubies.
But, are not worth no money.
But are worth cherishing forever.
-------------------------------
I wrote it about dying,
and no, nobody died in my family
2007-03-04 23:59:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
It is very nice.
2007-03-05 00:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by princess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not bad but, to be fair, it is rather hackneyed. The concept of comparing pictures to memories has been used so many times that it gets tedious. Besides as some others have pointed out there is use of double negative. Was it intentional? Whatever, nice try and I like your enthusiasm of posting it on the net and asking people to rate it.
Rating:5/10.
2007-03-05 09:46:17 · answer #2 · answered by arb_princess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
7/10
2007-03-05 10:40:33 · answer #3 · answered by Gõlden angel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello!
I must say it is a good start...you did express something nostalgic...the memories that stay forever here even whe you are gone.
Still I think you have to work on your style of writing a poem...to be more sophisticated.
Good luck, and never give up :)
2007-03-05 08:43:10 · answer #4 · answered by invisible1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you used the wrong version of the word too, (to). I would change ne'er, just make that line
'nor fading." Line 12 is a double negative, should read "they are worth no money" Besides that I gave you an A.
2007-03-05 08:09:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Need to clean up the grammar. Too bad, not to bad and Nor ne'er is a double negative. Other than that not too bad. Keep it up, the more you write the better you will get.
2007-03-05 08:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is pretty good but instead of "Nor" you shold have And
"But, are not worth no money"-- This is a double negative do you want it like that? If not it should be: "But are worth no money" or "But are not worth any money"
2007-03-05 08:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by Sara 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
not bad.
BUT memories are priceless.
this is also the mordern type of poetry and not the rhyming one.
7/10
2007-03-05 08:08:58 · answer #8 · answered by AKL 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
SUPER cool
maybe it would look and sound sound better if you changed the 'but' in the second last line to 'yet' or something
2007-03-05 08:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by Malfoy vs Potter 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
AH Fair work on it some more
2007-03-05 08:07:06 · answer #10 · answered by deogee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
change the no to any so it sounds like "are not worth any money"
2007-03-05 08:16:38 · answer #11 · answered by oledaveyboy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋