What do I do for the best? My ex partner is suicidal?

Question

I left my partner of five years as he was depressed and an alcoholic in denial. He is now calling me desperate to get back together as he misses me. I meanwhile have fallen for somebody else, but feel like I am a bad person for moving on and leaving him to cope on his own with his depression, alcohol problems etc. and he is lonely. He would leave me to drink for 2 days at a time and was nasty to me and controlling at times. other times he was lovely, but I left as he did not want any commitment of future such as a job or children etc, we are both 28. my new man is lovely and supportive and is gorgeous, but he is wanting me to get involved with him too quick. what do you suggest???

Answer 1

One thing addicts are good at is using guilt to get their way.

The ex needs to be firmly told to seek help and he is not entitled to call you any more. You have finished with him and leave it that way, don't humour him by talking with him.

The new man needs to know you are interested but will not be rushing into anything, if he wants to progress your relationship he needs to back off a little and show you the space you need to be sure of your feelings.

If he is worthy of you he won't have a problem, with this, if he continues to pressure you then he is not what you are seeking from what I gather, and you should move on.

You are worth being looked after and treated well and you should accept nothing less, stay strong and good luck.

Answer 2

Losing one friend to alcohol and dealing with another who is continually fighting the same demon for the past 14 years, I can tell you that you can do nothing for this ex-partner. His battle will need to be on his own. You could be sitting right there with him day after day and the thoughts of suicide and the drinking will continue. The alcoholic will hate his life most of the time, but he will not have the same strength to just stop drinking like we would. The addiction is a whole lot worse than cigarettes. Your body can become violently sick when it is denied the effects of alcohol. It can cause the person to not only want to kill himself, but also at times become violent to the ones who try to help him. Your compassion for him is admirable, but unless you want to deal with his problem for the rest of your life(and realize an alcoholic is in recovery for life) you will need to let him go his separate way and get on with your own life. Cut off all contact for your own good and don't look back with regret - you did your best to try and help him.

Answer 3

ell your ex that you hope he will have a nice life, but that alcohol has driven you away, and it's over... then move on with your new man... be careful, the ex will try to make you feel guilty, and pretend ALL his problems are Your fault... its not... good luck

Answer 4

get out the phone book.. under P for psychiatrists.. let them know about the threats of suicide.. in most states that's good enough for a 72 hour hold.. and your ex needs treatment.

and unless you in the one of the ones under P in the book, you're in over your head.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Tell the ex if killing himself is what it's going to take for him to get over this, then so be it but you're going to live. Tell him you have gas, matches, knives. He can't say you never gave him anything. Then tell the current b/f to slow down, he's rushing things and you aren't about to be pressured into anything.

Answer 6

this former partner needs help but you tried to help him but he did not accept it talk to him and explain that he needs professional help he sounds very controlling and doubt that he has changed his ways offer to help him find some help but tell him that you have moved on and do not intend to start your relationship again

Answer 7

avoid him