Should i punish my son?

Question

Hi there.

My son is 15 in loves to watch MTV, especially shows like Jackass and Dirty Sanchez etc. However the warnings on these shows fall on deaf ears. He feels like he has to do similar sort of stunts to impress his friends. I've tried telling him these aren't real friends if you need to endanger yourself for them to speak to you.

Anyway he started off doing a few stupid stunts but i was shocked when a worried neighbour told me about his latest stunt he is doing. He is buying fireworks and eating them. This surely has to be doing no end of damage to his insides. I would have thought the gun powder would be poisonous? Does anyone know?

Anyway i was going to go mad at him but my wife thinks that if we have a go at him he will carry on doing it as he is a rebellious sort. I dont want this but at the same time i dont want to turn a blind eye and him get seriously hurt.

What should i do. Should i tell him off for eating these fireworks or should i just let him off?

Answer 1

I'm going to answer this seriously.

On the BBC Radio 4 there is a programme called 'You and Yours' they ran a feature about this last week - there is an organisation that is trying to combat teens doing stupid things are hurtingthemselves. I can't remember the ame of the organisation but I'm sure if you look on the website or contact the production team they will be able to help you. They talked about a video starting off with cool music and showing people doing stunts and extreme sports and then showing some of the people hurt doing stuff like that.

Answer 2

Speak to your doctor (while your sons out) tell him about your fears that he will seriously hurt himself .

Ask the doc to arrange a long stay in hospital for tests due to your son eating fireworks , and search the web for some jackass gone wrong pics because hundreds of kids are killed or seriously injured every year trying to copy these DI*KH*ADS .

Having seen the pics and winding up in hospital might just give him an incentive to avoid some of the more dangerous stunts .

PS I'm pretty sure eating gunpowder will not cause him any real harm in fact i believe it was once thought to have medicinal values ?

Answer 3

I think you have to clarify the reason he is doing this. Firstly, yes very poisonous. Typical 15yr old, keeping up with the Joneses, impressing the mates, being COOL, show no fear and totally bullet-proof is the mindset of a 15yr old. I could be wrong but maybe there are other factors involved like problems at school, low self esteem so he does these things to get in with the cool guys to be accepted.
If you've spoken to him and hes not listening then punishment isnt really going to work, it may in the short term but not in the long term. With regards to MTV, just change the houserules, no more MTV, rent videos or challenge him to a game of cards, scrabble anything that you can do together for a couple of hours.
I suggest you make an appointment with your GP or school counsellor, any professional in the area of youth and sit down with your son and counsellor to find out why he is doing this.
You could also get on the net and find out just what substances are in the making of fireworks and print it out and give it to him to read along with the effects of what the ingredients can do to you.
This latest 'fad' will pass as he gets older but at what cost, his health will deterioate or worse.
Having said all that, explain to him that you love him dearly and because he is your son you will do anything to help him which includes counselling and or therapy.
Remember you are the parent and its your responsibilty to help your children and to set boundaries and protect them.
One last thing, late night tv, I set limits with my kids in their teenage years, 9.30pm is the latest I would let them stay up on a school night, weekend tv was limited at night. MTV was just not allowed, they got to choose videos that were age appropriate. Boundaries dear man boundaries

Answer 4

i would nip this in the bud straight away. yes maybe telling him off will encourage it to keep doing it, but imagine that you just stand back and do nothing and something seriously happens to him you will never forgive yourself.

personally i don't think that even at 15 he should be watching these kind of programmes if he can't act like a responsible adult and know when not to go to far with the stupid stunts
maybe try explaining to him that when these guys do things they will have experts behind the scenes on stand-by incase something goes horribly wrong.

Explain that you love your son and although you do want him to have fun you worry about his safety and would die if anything was to happen to him and you'd like him to be careful and a responsible ADULT in the future. If he continues in a drastic attempt why not show him some of the things that can go wrong with these silly but dangerous stunts (either on internet or your hospital)

GOOD LUCK and shame on your wife for taking the laidback attitude to it. if anything happens it your fault for not stopping and educating your son

Answer 5

VERY ******* DANGEROUS


Many of these substances catch fire and burn very hot or explode on contact with water. Not to mention posionous.


Maybe you should try and contact the shows producers and get them to have a word with him.


Ie he may listen to his heros if they tell him they aint impressed and hes being a ****


or get him work exp in a hospital and force him to see the results of stuff like this.

HE IS GOING TO BE SERIOUSLY HURT OR DEAD OR HURT SOMEONE ELSE>


They put warnings on these shows and its semi faked as you dont see the set up or planning.


Maybe have a word with chemistry teachers for some demonstrations pehaps with a body of something to show the effects.


or maybe (this could get you in trouble but may be necessary)


hold his hand down and press on a hot soldering iron to give him a burn (1st or secondary ) so he has an idea of how much it would hurt say on finger tips.


I know that soulds abusive but better there and he recovers then inside him and he dies.


Tough love time... this needs to be nipped in the bud now.


Maybe ask the police for advice on how far you can go to stop him hurting himself to get the message accross as worried.

Answer 6

15 year old boys make a career out of being stupid. I don't think he will hear you no matter what you do, but you could ask a doctor about the potential damage these things might do to him, then make the kid sit and listen.

He'll grow out of it eventually. In the meantime, it might be an idea to talk to other parent about these pranks, find out what's going on in other households. It might be a case of collective hormones feeding imaginations that makes them do stupid things.

Answer 7

I cannot believe that you would even consider 'letting him off' as you say. What happens if you 'let him off' and he flys into a haystack and burns the whole thing place down?

Think of the pets you would be scaring by 'letting him off'. I think you should let him carry on eating these fireworks as you would only scare the entire cat/dog population of your neighbourhood by 'letting him off'.

By the way - is it catherine wheels, roman candles, bangers or rockets he is eating? Makes a big difference in my eyes......

Answer 8

Who's the parent here? If you don't want him watching those shows and replicating what he sees then block them from the television. SURE he'll be mad, but there is a reason that the legal age is not at 15 years old......they are not mature enough to handle it. As a parent YOU set the ground rules, and stick to them. You can be his friend later. Who knows what he may replicate next. Death is permanent.

Answer 9

That is awful. You need to stop him from doing this. What I would do is find information on the internet of how they are poisonus print them off and put them on his bed for when he comes home.
Then after he has been in his room ask him has he read it and say Thats the facts your and adult I trust you will make the right decision. But say if you make the wrong one you hope that he will leave you enough money to pay for his funeral.
But you should ground him after you have done that.

Answer 10

i would sit down with him as a family and talk to him. ask him why he does what he is doing and why he feels he has to impress his friends and also if he asked his so called friends to do the same would they do it. i would seek medical help because eating fireworks is not what some one would do. i would also stop him from watching those programmes