OMG where do i start....i am devistated, hurt, broken, just to name a few. I just found out he has been cheating on me. I dont think i have hurt so much in my life. I desided that i want to try to work things out but how? I left for one night and he begged me to come back, he says he broke it off with the girl and i believe him. But what now, i am finding it very hard to trust him and i feel like everything he does needs to be questioned, im triyng not to throw it in his face ever chance i get but i find it hard to keep my mouth shut, why should i when he did this to me? He gets upset with me saying he cant handle this, he says he feels like i have him in a corner and im beating him up, he says he cant take the fact that im happy one minute and pissed off the next, but thoes are the emotions i am going through, how do i control them? I dont know, this is the hardest thing i have ever had to do! My trust for him is GONE, what now? How do i cope? How do i trust? Help please?!?!?
2007-03-04 23:24:35 · 8 answers · asked by how to deal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is time to pack your bags and get out. Not just because he cheated, but because you won't trust him again and therefore the relationship would be limited.
Don't abuse him or get in a shouting match, just tell him it is over and you won't be back. If he calls, don't humour him, tell him firmly it is over, say goodbye and hang up.
You are obviously the strong and mature one in this matter, so don't let him drag you down/
Go, have a great life without him and soon enough you won't even think of him again. Stay strong and get going.
2007-03-04 23:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by Rational Thought 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sympathize with you very much..Being cheated on is one of the worst thing's you will ever go through.Let me say that TRUST is everything in a relationship without trust you have nothing.What he did to you is in-excuseable.If you really want to be with him it is going to take a lot of time and he is the one that was wrong NOT you.HE will have to prove himself to you all over again and he has to re-gain your trust if that is even possible.I believe that once a cheat always a cheat and I myself would not be giving any 2nd chances.Cheating is the lowest form of disrespect that a person can show to another person.You have really answered your own question you said yourself that you are finding it very hard to trust him and with good reason.He does not deserve your trust nor does he deserve a good person like you.You would save yourself a lot of hurt in the future if you just end it now with him and move on.He will promise you the world right now and tell you anything that you want to hear but in the end he will just tear your heart wide open once again.Be strong you deserve to be treated with dignity & respect both of which he obviously has no clue what that means..Also let me say that there is NO excuse,reason or justification for cheating ever..Cheating is not an accident and it does'nt just happen it is a conscious decision that a person makes..Good Luck to you.
2007-03-05 07:51:35 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you trying to stay with him and work things out is already a big big thing for you to do, it's gonna take a long time to rebuild trust, he can't expect that from you right now, you have a broken heart and you go trough all sort of emotions...get support where ever you can and get into counselling both of you, also if he cheated once he'd be missing it and would want to do it again, so he needs professional help...forgiveness is a process it will take time...take care.
2007-03-05 07:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by happydial 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, It's hard! You have the right to feel betrayed and angry, but you also want to work things out. I've been here and kept my marriage alive. If you really want to work things out, you have to forgive him and you have to trust him. It may take some professional marriage counseling to get you to this stage. If he's really sincere about breaking it off with the other woman and making your marriage work, he should be willing to get counseling and let you beat him up a little. After all, he cheated and he deserves it, but you only get to beat a little and you have to be able to put it all behind you. Try to look at this is a completely new start and talk to a marriage counselor. If he's unwilling to go to counseling with you, he doesn't really want to work it. He just wants things to go back the way they were. Good Luck.
2007-03-05 07:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You took him back because you want things to work out. You need to not throw it in his face anymore because if you do you both will never be happy. People make mistakes and you have to accept that what happened is in the past leave it there. He wants to be with you so enjoy this time with him. The pain of his infidelity will never go away but this is something that your are going to have to deal with and if its to much than talk to him about it if he really loves you and wants to help you he will and you should try to get couples counseling it would help both of you out alot. Remember A man that's happy at home doesn't seek comfort somewhere else.
2007-03-05 07:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by sadgirl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie I feel for you, and I'm sorry for what's going on with you. Same happened to me last year before x-mas and it was heart broken esp. for my 3 teenagers. They lost their respect and trust to their father and ruined their holiday. I've been married with this man for 22 years and he had an affairs with a married woman also. I caught them because of his cell phone statement.
You will feel angry and all you want is to scream, and you need to this so it can help you cope.men will start acting bad or guilty and what they will say is same like my husband. Do not believed to what his telling you, like he stop seeing her,the trust is not there anymore.And he doesn't have the rights to be upset with you because of his affairs, it was him that commited adultery not you. You are trying to put back your marriage but right now,you must deal with your pain and for you to do this,you need to be away from him, tell him that you need to think this over, and you can also tell him that what will he do and say if its was you that has an affair?? Will he be mad and feel betrayed??
If you can,ask him to move out because you need to work on whats going on with the two of you. Remember,right now all your trust, respect is gone and your feelings is natural,the betrayal was painful,so this is the time for you to be alone away from him. One thing you must realize everytime you see him, your anger will comes out, you see him as a triator. Just thinkabout this carefully,............bless you!
2007-03-05 10:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that this happened to you.
Take a deep breath and go kick something.
This is one of the hardest things to go through, and even harder to recover from. It will take alot of effort on BOTH of you to save your marriage.
Bring up the subject of marriage counceling, and if he won't go, go by yourself.
feel free to email me if you want to talk.
2007-03-05 09:18:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get lost, he should of thought about all of this before he decided to cheat. This is the consequences he pays.
2007-03-05 07:32:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋