friend of over 20 years?

Question

I know we both have our owm lives to live but she will suddenly out of the blue contact me as something has gone wrong usually man troubld and expect me to be there listen to her problems and do things for her which i dont mind however when everything is fine i dont hear from her how would you get her out of your life permenatly
I know she is jealous of me she is several years older when she was younger she was very attractive and married 4 times now all she can get is married men

I might not hear fromher for 5-6 months then she is on the phone almost every day for at least an hour or two but never calls to see how we are or just for a chat

Dont feel I can ring as I know she will be getting me to do everything for her and listen to her problems

Answer 1

A friend in need is a friend indeed so when you have a problem or not you should always be pals nomatter what, life today is of two people who have been friends over 20 years should recognise each other as brothers/sisters. When she remembers you only when she has a problem that's not a friend but someone who only wants to take advantage of your kindness so show that you have your own problems that needs to been taken care .

Answer 2

I guess what i would do is write everything that i am feeling in a letter (its always seems easier) and then tell her that it would be better for the both of yous to go your separate ways as its not health for either of yous to stay in a friendship that is basically hurting one or both of yous,

Speaking for similarly problems, i had a problem in school were i got mixed up with a group of people who i though were really good friends but then they decide that we were not hanging out with other people anymore( in others word i should be there friend and no one else)

I killed me as all and i mean all of them turned there back on me. made my life hell for the last two year but when i finally had enough i published a letter in the school paper telling them what i really felt and they left me alone, because they knew that i was right.

I hope this helps you in some way and remember it take a stronger person, to walk away holding there head up high and on good term then it does for someone to pick a fight to cover up what they are trying to say.

Answer 3

You will simply have to make a point of NOT being there for her the next time she calls, and then the next time, and if necessary, the next time again! Right now she knows you will listen and help, but when she realises that you wont, or cannot, she will stop leaning on you. Everyone need a leaning post now and then, but by the same token, everyone must learn to stand on their own two feet. Good luck!

Answer 4

I have to admit I do this to a friend of mine. I made a mistake (I think I did, tho' still not sure), & moved in with somebody else, setting up home with them... when things all get too much for me, I call my old friend because he reminds me who I am, he gives me hope, he usually gives me good advice, he puts me back on track, so I can go on with life.
I wish he would call me sometimes!
I realise I shouldn't call him, that I may be aggravating him, but that is not my intention! I only call when it all builds up cos I have no-one else to talk to. That's why there are long silences inbetween- I don't want to cause him any hassle, or annoy him.
Sometimes, I feel he is glad I have called, cos the relief is reciprocated. Other times, I sense him thinking "oh, f off!"

So please don't be hard on your friend! It sounds like she needs you. Perhaps you should call her for a chat more than you do?

Answer 5

This lady isn't ur friend if she only talks 2 u for her love problems. Just don't listen 2 her. U don't go 2 her for everything, so why should she go 2 u?????? Just remember that she's jealous, and nothing can come from jealousy.

Answer 6

Next time she calls just don't get into what ever is going on. Act distracted. Tell her you hate to hear she is having problems AGAIN and hope SHE can work them out. To please let you know as soon as SHE does. Just keep putting it all back on her.

Answer 7

She needs a friend. Why cut her off permanently. Why refer to her past, and sound so judgmental? Friends are there for friends, unconditionally if possible. Why complain that she does not call when all is going well? You are friends. Why think that she is jealous??? I guess you are too self centered to be a real friend. Think on that!

Answer 8

My mate kinda does the same thing, u wont here of her for a few months then all of a sudden she is callin everyday, coming round trhen all of a sudden u wont see her again for a couple more month. dont stress bout it, i dont.

Answer 9

I would just ignore her or tell her you are busy and you will get back to her sometime, she is not much of a mate when she treats you like that

Answer 10

I would say you have enough problems of your own and maybe she should deal withthem herself.