Yesterday I found out my fiance was searching for several actresses and models online. I could see by the history that he wasn't looking specifically for nudes or anything like that, but some did pop up in the yahoo image searches he was doing. I immediately became a little jealous - more so, I guess I just felt hurt or like he needed to look at them because I wasn't enough. When I asked him flat out if he was looking at girls online - he said no. I became so frustrated and hurt. He made the situation worse by lying to me. He said he just looked because they were pretty, and he'd only ever done it a couple of times prior. He has lied to me before - and always claims it's to avoid an argument or avoid hurting me. I guess my question is divided - is it natural for men to want to look at women even if they're happy? How do I move past his lies, or should I?
2007-03-04 22:58:15 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's completely normal for many men (and many women too), to look at other people, even if they're in the best relationship ever with the most beautiful person in the world. As long as they don't touch, or do it blatantly infront of you, I don't think there's any harm in it.
Chances are, he lied to avoid an argument, because he knew it would make you angry/upset.
2007-03-04 23:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by Neilos 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat with my wife. I look, she hates it. What you need to realize is that looking online is like going to an art gallery. You like what you see, but realize that you can't take it home with you, and wouldn't really want to if you could. Doesn't he go to bed with you? I told my wife the truth the first time and she was extremely pissed, so the next time she asked I lied and she was extremely pissed, the truth the next time and she was just as pissed. I finally found a way to hide it better, and then I lie just to avoid the 2 hr long argument. But she has also stopped asking now. She has realized it is harmless and just doesn't want to know now.
2007-03-04 23:09:21 · answer #2 · answered by vospire s 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going to be completly honest with you. This doesn't sound like he really has a problem. It is completly natural to find other people attractive. There is not a switch in your brain that say "I no longer find anyone else attractive" when you are in a relationship. Men are visual by nature. He isn't touching, or cheating, wehat he is doing is perfectly natural and healthy. I think you should get over the lie, because it sounds like you were kind of over reacting.
2007-03-04 23:25:35 · answer #3 · answered by 37 weeks with twins! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The primary reason people lie is because they dont want to face the consequences of the lie. Think about yourself, I am sure you dont think he is the most handsome man in the world and you dont think other men are attractive. The problem lies within you and your insecurities about yourself in this relationship. Have you thought about getting counselling for yourself maybe you have unresolved issues about your self esteem. Its not like he is having an affair on you and wanking to porn.
2007-03-04 23:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by n_az 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you freaked out because he looked at girls with their clothes on, than that is why he lied to you. Most of us guys only surf for porn.
2007-03-04 23:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by White Trash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋