impossible situation?

Question

im 22 with a 4 month old, my husband is in the navy so were stationed overseas so ive been with my baby every day and night since day 1, and hes always so fussy im gonna go crazy hes only happy when we go for a walk outside but its extremely windy here most days because were by the ocean..i dont have a car or license for this country so im stuck in my apartment with a crying possibly teething baby.i dont get a break. any advice or words of wisdom/comfort?

first of all colleen "a windy day" its march and its not just a windy day its freezing and strong enough to blow my stroller over. second of all they have an officers wives club and my husband is not an officer and everyone thinks those ladies are b--ches and most of the wives are probably like you. and this is japan it cost a fortune just to step on a train and me and my husband do things like that together once in awhile and im not christian so i cant go to church. so b4 u accuse me of whining get your brainwashed head out of your a--

thank you other ladies. my husband is not the most social person and im new to the military so i dont know what they offer but we will look around, we cant find anything so far thats not for officers or suicide prevention but we are looking. thank you

Answer 1

I was in the same boat as you with a fussy baby (and an energetic three year old). Got to my wits end and came on Yahoo!Answers for peace. I was not getting a break, ready to rip my hair out, exhausted....But it got better. My baby is 8 months old now and better but still a little toughy. He went to bed at 9PM, Woke at 11PM for a bit cried and fell back asleep, again and 1AM, then at 3AM he screamed till 4:30 till I got up and put him in his walker with dim lights and no attention. He started to tire around 6AM and I put him back to bed. Some nights he will sleep through but some nights! ARGGGGGG!!!!

Honey, you will get through!!! I got some good advise that I will share with you. One, talk with your hubby as you are in this together. Let him now how you feel and that you want some help. Two, ask others for help. Get into a group of other mother's as there should be other military Mom's around. Vent, share baby time... I would hope that the military has programs set up to help your family with many things. Third, try a swing for motion, THE VACUUM IS GOD'S GIFT TO MOMMY'S WITH TOUGHY BABIES, try radio static, baby messages with some lavender or other soothing smell (Set a cozy area up, feed baby, then rub baby down - it would be good for both of you - also cuddle with him so he feels your skin - if he still fusses try again at another time), play some soft Beethoven,...Try all different things till you find what works.

Just remember it will get better and better. You can do it and you are not alone. We are all cheering for you and that sweet little baby! And, THANK YOU for the sacrifices and work that you and your family does to serve us. You are soooo appreciated!!! THANK YOU!!! 7AM and my babe is up and raring to go! ARGGGGG!!!! Take care!

One more thing, start writing memoirs for your baby. Have a little book and jot down notes to him/her, tell him the funny things he does, milestones, how he/she drives you a bit loony at times. It helps you keep your wits also. It would be nice for your husband to catch up and keep up with you and the babies day. Also, maybe the babe is not teething but gassy, try gas drops!

Answer 2

I understand your situation. It must be tough. Try to hang in there and do what you can to make things a bit better. Maybe when warmer weather comes, you can get out more.

In the meantime, are there other young mothers or navy wives in the apartment building where you live? You need a support system. Even if it's just getting together a morning or two a week to have coffee and let the babies play, you need social interaction with others. Try to make new friends there. You may be surprised at the support and friendship an older couple may offer, as well.

I am concerned that you will become depressed because of the stress and isolation you are going through. If you feel you are suffering from post-partum depression, please see a doctor there on base. I don't think you are whining or complaining - you are asking for advice and help.

You know, you could always call the base chaplain and explain your situation. He or she may be able to put you in contact with the right person to help you.

Good luck. I wish I could do more for you. Just remember that this, too, will pass.

Answer 3

I feel for you! My baby sounds the same as yours at the same age. Can I suggest buying a swing??? That was my saviour as he loved it, the constant motion kept him content and then rocked him to sleep when he was tired. It also gives your arms a good break. Also a baby carrier was handy for me. I could put him in it, and get jobs done and he was happy being close to me up against my chest. Maybe it may be time to start him on solids if you havn't already? It may settle him down a fair bit and make him more content and sleep better.
I know its hard for you, but as I used to think, it will get better. My son is 9 months old now and has just started crawling. He is now a happy baby who crawls around and entertains himself. A far cry from the baby who, only a month ago, would just scream unless he was in my arms. Just try to relax, babies sence your anxiety and this can make him more anxious. And remember, It DOES get better.

Feel free to email me if you want to chat.
Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Try a baby swing. It was the only thing that calmed my cranky daughter.

Try to do a kids day with other Moms on the base and their kids. It will relieve some of the pressure and affirm that you are not alone in this situation.

Also, if there is a base Chaplin, they are usually very understanding . It might help to have a short chat with him.

Answer 5

when My nieces were teething the only thin that soothed them was motion, which sounds like it might be the same for your baby. I used to hold them and rock from side to side to put them to sleep. Otherwise try those teething rings that you freeze. They numb the gums a bit.

If these don't work, let me tell you this. It is only going to last for a relatively short peroid of time. In 2 months you baby will be al giggly and smiles.

Answer 6

when my son was young i just kept trying things to see if he would calm down when he cried .iknow it sounds bad but if you jump every time he cries he learns that. some times you have to let him cry for a while.i found that if i put my son in the bathroom with me while i took a long shower it would relax me and the sound of the water would calm him.babies pick up on emotion so if you show sighns of frustration and stress your baby might be more likely to cry.stay calm and relax

Answer 7

try putting him on the floor with a lot of toys. He will try crawl and maybe even enjoy himself or get a walking ring. My baby was walking in his walking ring since 3 months and it's a good stress reliever. that means he is off your hands for a while. Put the television on aswell, they start noticing alot around them and it might distract him.

I know how you feel. also been there.

Good luck!!!

Answer 8

Life is what YOU make it. If you want to make it miserable it will be... So what is so wrong with taking a walk on a windy day? Plus doesn't the base you're assigned to have any kind of facilities like movie house...How about going to Chapel on Sunday and meeting people there? What about wive's clubs? What about finding things out about where you are stationed. Maybe if you stopped whining and complaining long enough to take a look around you wouldn't feel so miserable