Should I worry, internet affair and lies?

Question

I've been married almost 30 years. Last year I discovered my husband was having a very secret internet relationship. When confronted, he blocked her from email and swore it wouldn't happen again. So far as I know, he never had contact with her again. Just recently a click on history revealed an email login that I was unfamiliar with. He swears it wasn't him but it only took 2 tries to get into the email using passwords he's notorious for using. There wasn't any in or out email but yahoo games profile for that account indicates a lot of
pool games. That's how the first affair began. The login was found on a laptop that goes to work with him and he swears that someone else used it.
I'm sceptical. What do you think?

Answer 1

Well you caught him once and since then he has not done it ... not that you are aware of. But what you should be asking yourself instead is ..why is he doing it ? and figure a way out to talk it out ...dont go down his throat but instead find a way to communicate... After a long time marriage some things just fall to sleep so to speak maybe just maybe he is missing something ... and if so figure out how you two can work it out... internet affairs as long as the stay online are fantasies ... or just needing someone to give him some kind of attention...
and truth is it could have been one of his colleagues using the pc ... i think sitting down talking without the cheating blame is the best way to go about it ... maybe hard to do but after all you are an adult ... logical thinking is better then screaming and accusations...

regards join

Answer 2

Someone else may have used his PC, but the fact is that the login was a password he notoriously uses. He may not be up to anything at all. Afterall there was no e-mail. He swore it wouldn't happen again, and he probably meant it. What you two should have done and might still consider is go to some counseling to discover why he did it in the first place and what the two of you can do to make sure this doesn't happen again. The internet can be a huge trap for some.

Answer 3

I doubt this is another affair....I reckon he is still seeing the same woman. You are sceptical which is the same as having a gut feeling about something. You have been married to him for 30 years, you, more than anyone would know if he is lying or not. I think you dont want to believe it, because what are you going to do if you find out he is still seeing this other woman? Are you prepared to leave him....or do you just want to find out so as you can hassle him about it.....so you can have some kind of control over him.

I think you know in your heart he is cheating, but you are too afraid to believe it because this will be the second time you have found him out, so how could you ever trust him again? You have to let him go....you have to find your pride and move on. Why would you want to accept his crumbs.....why dont you need a man who loves you exclusively? They call the woman who is cheating with someone's husband "the other woman", but I sometimes think its the wife who is the other woman because all his real love is going on someone else....all his thoughts are probably on this woman he is seeing, so while he may be your husband, emotionally he is somewhere else. You dont deserve to be second best to anyone....it will be hard to tell him to leave, but you have to do it for your own sanity. Its not too late for you and with time, you will find a man who will love you with all his heart....who will show you the love that you probably havent got from your husband for a very long time. Care about yourself enough to not accept another woman in your marriage...tell him to leave, and mean it...you deserve much more than this.

I wish you all the best...I also wish you heaps of strength because as hard as it is going to be, you do have the strength to do this.....take care.

Answer 4

Yes you should be VERY concerned about this. I feel that he definitley is lying and cheating on you. I think he is still doing this to you and he only says something when you catch him. You are not being skeptical at all. I think he is hiding something and lying and covering up about it. You need to find out the truth. Take him on the Maury show and have him take a lie detector test . Also check his mail history in any of his mail accounts. I highly doubt that anyone else is using his account. He seems very dishonest to me.

Answer 5

Do not worry.
Get busy now.
Hire a lawyer now.
Hire a private detective now.
Get all of your financial records now.
Go to a doctor today and get tested for STDs.
Get real now. He is committing adultery and risking your health, future, and life---And he doesn't care---Proof is in his lying.
Be nice until you have all the proof against him, then divorce him, and be free from all the the hurt that he is so carelessly is giving you.

Answer 6

Let's try this.
"Honey I've been emailing a woman on the internet and we have a correspondence".

What is your reaction? If its anything but " That's nice dear". You have your answer. Correspondence IS NOT cheating. If you have made an issue of this in the past, Of course he will be guarded about it. There is nothing causes hiding stuff quicker than catching crap for doing nothing. Its simple crap avoidance.

Let me guess, you have never given him crap for spending too much time playing games either........


BTW- To be an affair they need to swap some fluids.

Answer 7

Watch out girl....everytime most of women are having this kind of problem, with our men, now they doesn't go out, but they start to cheat by internet...

Answer 8

He's lying. He's cheating. You've been there before. How many times are you going to have to learn the same lesson?

Answer 9

Its culture of the day. Most yahoo chatters tell they are singles. And you know what is type of courtship in the net. terrible. Anyway its only pure fantasy. after that no more.... fading away.try it.

Answer 10

He is lieing to you he is most likely seeing her offline as well