My life begins with you ends with you...
Reason of my life is just you, in in my dreams its only you!
You are the warm soul of virtue....
You are the winter's first shivery dew..
You are the sweet melodies of the merrier birds...
you are my life's greatest truth ever heard!
You are my inpiration...
My only destination!
Hold my hands amd let us fly where the Heavens lie or i shall die, for my life begins with you and ends with you.
.....Thanks for reading everyone!Pls do tell me how's that.
2007-03-04 21:31:01 · 24 answers · asked by Z....... 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I liked it.
2007-03-04 21:36:01 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. There is a nice duality of meaning; it could be about love of a person or love of a divinity. I especially like line 4's metaphor: "You are the winter's first shivery dew"
I don't think it's finished though; I think the last line needs more work to balance it.
Keep going, you are on to something with htis.
2007-03-05 10:30:30 · answer #2 · answered by darestobelieve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its beautiful. Anyone who can openly put their feelings from the heart into writing has a beautiful gift that should be shared. I myself wrote alot of poetry but unfortunately didnt have the courage to share them. Keep it up and dont let bad criticism get you down. Not everyone has the appreciation for fine art. Write about things that inspire you and mean much to you. It really doesnt matter what anyone else thinks, what matters is how you feel after youve written it and I bet its great.
Gee, I miss that feeling!!
2007-03-05 05:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by ktsz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The poem is good add the following lines
Walking miles at length
from you i get the strength
I have no fears
as you are there to wipe away my tears
You are my beginning and my end
i feel it while awake, asleep or driving the car on a bend
2007-03-05 06:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by Susheel B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2007-03-05 05:49:47 · answer #5 · answered by Tejus PM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice!!!
Not up to the level of Keats maybe, but a very commendable effort. And it actually rhymed! I was getting tired of all these modern poems which seem to feel that rhyming is a crime.
2007-03-05 09:53:30 · answer #6 · answered by arb_princess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its really nice...If you take may advice than never take criticisms on heart.If You continue than i think you can go far in this field...Let me tell you one thing...I also like writing poems,infact i have written a poem also..ok leave this..All the best for your next poem..if i come to yahoo answers again,i will see ur next poem also..All The Best
2007-03-05 05:52:39 · answer #7 · answered by Adi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do a "Poem Check", this is done easily by waiting for a year, (preferably after marriage), and asking yourself this very same question. "Do I like my poem". If you like your poem, than it matters little what the rest of us think. Thanks for your poem, I am with the person who said that it sounded sort of phony, and not from the heart, but, maybe this is where you live on that plane of life that others only dream of, high above, floating, peaceful, flittering ever slightly, as that of a butterfly removing a particle of dust from its wing..........Happy.......Happy.........
2007-03-05 05:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by Jumpin Jack Flash 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes , your poem is superb and its full of dreams and positive approach to life. pls keep on writing .may god bless you . lucky
2007-03-05 05:54:55 · answer #9 · answered by lokendra d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your poem is too good than also i say bad
if your poem is bad than dont verry .
u learn it.
Are baba bachi ho sikh jaogi
2007-03-05 05:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by krunal p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am glad you love God deeply in your heart and soul
2007-03-05 05:34:12 · answer #11 · answered by Gone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋