There is a guy I have liked for about a year and a half now. He is really nice and fun and just a good person. I have come to the realization that nothing will ever happen between us (tragic, I know). I am able to kind of get over him and not really think about it, but then we hang out and I fall back into the same feelings. It's not like it's controlling my life or anything, but is it worth it to keep the friendship if I know I will have these feelings come back each time we're around each other? It's not like we're very close friends or anything, but he is one of the best people I know. I don't want to miss out on being around a genuinely good person if I don't have to. Please, no ridiculously rude answers. I am just looking to see what other people would do.
2007-03-04 19:17:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It would not be fair to him or to you to remain in his life under these circumstances. I am not suggesting that you end your friendship with him, but I do suggest that you take a total break from him (few weeks at least) to clear your thoughts and gain a new perspective and perhaps allow yourself to look for romance elsewhere. Even though it may hurt to let go of the fantasy, be comforted in knowing that you have the opportunity to learn some valuable lessons because of his presence in your life. You should reflect and figure out what they are. I'd say some of those lessons would have something to do with figuring out what you do and don't want in a partner. I would probably step out of the picture completely if it consistently hurt more than it felt good to be around him. Good luck.
2007-03-04 19:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really a hard one to answer. Matters of the heart always are tough. Does this other person know how you feel? If not, then you are not giving yourself or your friend a fair chance. It sounds to me like you are in love with him? why is there no chance for you? If you feel that much for him don't let anything get in the way. Keep trying cuz it'll be worth it. If it has to be the way it is now then just remember "genuinely good people are hard to come by".
2007-03-04 19:46:24 · answer #2 · answered by rb_32368 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, dont end the friendship, that wud be unfair for both of you
second, some guys are just plain nice and for them it is nothing, they treat you as a friend nothing more nothing less. it does not mean that their nice gestures means they like you.
third, just be the same person to him. it does not have to end because of a feeling. yeah it may have been more than a yer but hu cares?! someday that infatuation will be gone. and when that infatuation is gone it is best that u still have him rather you still have the friendship...
2007-03-04 19:54:51 · answer #3 · answered by tin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know how you feel about him. If his response is positive, thank God for you, if not, let him be. But you can still feel very grest about someone without any deep emotional attachment. You guys can remain just "friends in love" and not necesarily lovers. It all depends on what he wants from you. If he feels the same way too, then it's not wrong getting deeper with yourselves. But you can still remain just friends.
2007-03-04 21:20:18 · answer #4 · answered by Chimex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were you just remind yourself that nothing is going to happen to him and tell yourself before you see him that he is just a friend. It will take a while to get over it but it will happen. This is how i talked myself out of liking a guy, sounds weird but hey it worked, now i can see him and those feelings have slowly gone away.
2007-03-04 19:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After one and a half year and you feel frustrated and depressing I guess he's not for you. Drop the thoughts on him and move on and mix around. No point getting depressed over something you can avoid.
2007-03-04 19:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are different from family.
Family you're stuck with, no matter what.
Friends are your way to improve yourself beyond what family can provide. Chose your friends wisely. If you are not progressing with them, they are not progressing with you. Move on. Life is short. No time to waste.
Send him a Christmas card once a year if it makes you feel better. Because romance (that's different from friends or family), is not happening here either.
2007-03-04 19:35:17 · answer #7 · answered by Boomer Wisdom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you would like to try being more than friends, and if he isn't interested, and you know that you would still be frustrated, then it would probably be easier to end the friendship
2007-03-04 19:24:42 · answer #8 · answered by aabbcc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't end the friendship...
I would still be there for him even if there is no future... have you told him that you love him?
Get him alone with you like in a cinema and tell him...
2007-03-04 19:22:32 · answer #9 · answered by silvs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends.
If he is this just great guy... you have to tell him about these feelings you get, or you'll never overcome them. He'll definitely understand, and you two can become the best of friends.
Good luck
2007-03-04 19:22:21 · answer #10 · answered by politoed316 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋