Is this love?

Question

Am doing postgraduation( away from home) n I get along great guns wit my senior who is married. No problem with our friendship, in fact, we hang out 2gether after work hrs n r mostly seen 2gether. 3 months ago, I got married ( Arranged marriage). But the weird thing is, all during my marriage preparations n afterwards, her thoughts kept drifting into my mind. Wen I went back 2 my college(hubby stayed bak due 2 work commitments), there was a subtle change in her demeanour 2..as if... she had missed me 2! Though we relate 2 each other as bfore wen we r alone, I feel a difference wen others r around. There seems 2 be an invisible thread betn us, there r stolen glances, more than usual teasing using others as a prop, a different kind of a smile lasting only for a fraction of a second, other subtle things I dun have appropriate words for. Both of us r commited 2 our marriages( tho I haven't grown close 2 my husband as yet) n Im sure we wont fool around. Am just wondering what's going on?

Answer 1

Sounds like you two are good friends and it is up to you whether it goes any further, sometimes we are excited by that which we know we can't have or should not have. Stay friends and keep your dreams.

Answer 2

I think that what could be happening is that you and your friend are feeling a slight case of the 'what if's'. You guys never took your friendship to the next vlevel and its making you wonder now that you are married to other people, what could've happened or what would've happened if you two had gotten married to each other instead of to other people. I can't exactly say if you should try to find the meaning of your feelings. I would if I were in the same situation because you wouldn't want to go throughout your whole marriage wondering what your life would've been like with someone else. but your situation is different because you two aren't just in 'relationships', you guys are in 'marriages' now. I don't know if your arranged marriage has something to do with your life and your beliefs and background, but from now on you shouldn't allow someone else other than yourself to make life-altering decisions for you. Stand up for yourself and take a chance and experience new things before making decisions so you won't have feelings of regret in the future.

Answer 3

keep him as a friend--it's ok, but don't do anything more as you said you wouldn't...

as for your husband, i suggest you do the same things you do to your friend... build up a good, friendly relationship with your husband the way you would to a friend--it will take effort and it should be your side AND your husband's side too... if he doesn't make an effort, though, just do your best because a positive change in you will ultimately affect your partner... you and your husband can grow to love each other if you two will allow it--communication and selflessness is the key, along with patience and honesty :)

gd luck and don't regret!