I dated and even lived with a guy for about 3 years. It's been over 5 years since I left him. It was a bad relationship, very verbally abusive. I found out he tried to contact me last summer and lately I've been trying to look him up online. I almost feel like I need to tell him how wonderful my life has turned out despite everything he tried to do to me. He was so terrible to me it really messed with my self esteem. I'm afraid that I won't ever feel like I'll have closure if I don't do this but I don't want to open up a whole can of worms with him. What should I do?
2007-03-04 18:17:30 · 9 answers · asked by kweenie97 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well if your life has turned out so well then I am not sure it is necessary for you to tell him that unless it would be for the purpose of getting back at him to show him that you were stronger than his verbally abusive hold on you. And I do think thats improtant so you can have closure but don't make contact with him. Instead write a letter to him stating all the pain, all the anger you had for his abuse to you and tell him how you didn't deserve any of that.Include anything else you want to say to him because the purpose of this leeter is to bring closure...so that when you are finished with the letter you can truely let him go and in fact enjoy the life you say you now have. After you have written everything you want in the letter, read it back to yourself and then burn it. You will have your closure. Closure isn't about him so its not necessary to send it to him...its about you. Then live your happier life...Good Luck!
2007-03-04 18:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by chcman74 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you don't think you can have closure, until you can laugh in his face and say, ha ha, my life turned out good, even though you tried to destroy me? So basically you want revenge not closure. Grow up. Leave it alone. You've moved on. Just be happy with what you got.
2007-03-05 02:21:01 · answer #2 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't contact him!! He's gone from your life. Keep it that way. It sounds like he was a world class jerk. Contacting him could only suck you in again, restart the vicious cycle. You don't need to tell him how wonderful your life is without him. He probably already knows. Let your past be your past.
2007-03-05 02:26:11 · answer #3 · answered by Kat_RN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him a long letter. Read it again the next day. Take it outside and burn it and watch the smoke climb to the sky. Move on.
2007-03-05 02:20:57 · answer #4 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh don't contact him he may want to try to start something and may think you're interested
Also you need to watch out if he's trying to contact you
2007-03-05 02:22:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either tell him to leave u alone or dont do anything, because really babe u dont need him!
2007-03-05 02:20:37 · answer #6 · answered by Watel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. Find a good guy and forget him
2007-03-05 02:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by Wolfman the MFER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u must not contact him.coz widout him u r doing better.
2007-03-05 03:00:05 · answer #8 · answered by sunheri h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on and count your blessings.
2007-03-05 02:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by defragmentedbrain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋