Does this even have anything to do with me?

Question

Okay, so my brother had a child out of wedlock. Not his best decision making (the sex, i mean), but now there is this adorable little 6mo old (he'll be 7mos on friday) that i, his aunt, have fallen in absolute love with. But the mother and my brother don't exactly get along all the time (a very long story, in short, she still loves him, but he's not too into her anymore, just wants to take care of his baby). so whenever they get into an argument, (which is usually pretty often) my mom makes me wait until they have resolved it until we can bring him home. I was wondering, is that fair to me, or us (my parents and me)? I know that it is their kid and all, but if they are having an issue, as long as we are staying out of it, there should be no problem with us spending time with him, right? i just don't get it. All i want to do is see my nephew, not get into my brothers' personal life. Is what my mom doing right? I just want some clarification. Thanks

it's not MY mother and brother with the problems, its my nephews mom and my brother (his mom and dad) that have the problems.

Answer 1

That is not fair to your or your new nephew. Next time your mom pulls that, politely remind her that you nor the child have done anything wrong and are not involved in the dispute, so please don't punish the two of you.

Answer 2

It is great you love your nephew so much, kids are such a blessing. Your mother probably just doesn't want to cause anymore tension between the two parents, but it does seem kind of silly. If your brothers ex is a reasonable person she probably understands you just want the best for your nephew. You should ask the parents how they feel about the situation and what they think is best. They are the parents and only they can make these decisions. I am sure like everyone else they just want what is best for the baby. So just be supportive and let everyone know you are there for the baby first and foremost and you are not trying to get in the middle of anything between those two. Good luck and enjoy that little boy as much as possible.

Answer 3

Well there is nothing you can really do since it's their baby, and your mom is the one that makes the rules in your home, not you. It's tough because I'm sure you love the baby, but you have to respect what your mom says. It sounds like your brother and the mother of the baby are still very immature and it will take time for them to work the situation out. All you can do is stay on everyone's good side and offer to baby-sit whenever possible. Good luck!

Answer 4

I would bring your feelings up to your brother, mother and the child's mother all at the same time and discuss your feelings openly. Sometimes people don't know how their actions affect everyone Else's life. Good Luck

Answer 5

Your mom has the right to run her household the way she needs to, and your brother has the right to run his life the way he sees fit. Best thing for you to do is to offer to babysit whenever your mother and your brother are having difficulties so they can focus on their arguments without the baby to distract them.

If they decline, then just fess up that you want to see more of the baby and you don't like it when they cut you off from the baby and vice versa.

Answer 6

spending time with the child has nothing to do with choosing sides in the arguments... i think you should be able to spend time with your nephew no matter what is going on between your brother and his ex-girfriend... because it is just that between HIM and his EX-GIRLFRIEND.

Answer 7

your mom probably doesn't want to cause tension . its good he isn't old enough to understand because he mite pick up on all the tension going around.(the baby)

Answer 8

its the baby's parent's decision, so if they're cool with it I don't see why you couldn't go see your nephew.

Answer 9

Just tell your bro you wanna play with his baby. You're his sis and why won't he let you?