I need opinions please?

Question

after my brokup with me he told the girl he was trying to get with, that he never loved me and was not physically attracted to me. NOW, I can honestly tell you he told me many times How much he was attracted to me and he showed it when we were together. Also, his mother use to tell me I was very beautiful and lets just say I dont have a problem getting a date. I am not vain But the reason I am asking is because he hurt me very badly. I was close to him and his opinion of me mattered. No matter what, I would have never devalued him to be with another guy. Why did he say this. When I confronted him he told me that wasnt true, but if she is a liar why did he continue to be with her? She is the one who told me. Needless to say I severed all ties with him because I dont trust him in any manner anymore. Can someone tell me what or why he said these things about me, I never did anything to him, in fact he broke up with me to be with her. They are not together but remain friends, I found out

the truth and he wants nothing to do with me?! We were together for 2 yrs, they were "together" for maybe 4 months. We never fought had a great realtionship, also I wonder if he regrets what he did. I have not heard from him though. I told him I would never take him back if he wanted.

Answer 1

hey!

I don't know how much would the opinion or advice matter and help to you but thought of sharing this with ya at this moment.

There's this principle I have studied which is called a 90/10 principle. It says "We have no control over 10% of things that happens to us, but the rest of 90% are determined by how we react to those 10%"

Here's a small story to share..

Imagine that you are eating your breakfast with your family and your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee on your business shirt. You curse. You harshly scold her for knocking the cup of coffee. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her you turn to your spouse and criticize him for placing the cup to close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs to change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and get ready for the school. She misses the school bus. Your hubby must leave immediately for work. You rush your car and drive your daughter to the school. Your daughter runs towards the building without saying "Bye" to you. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find out that you forgot to bring some important papers at the office. Your day has started terrible. As the day continues, it seems to get worse and worse.You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why did you have a bad day?
Did the coffee cause it?
Did your daughter cause it?
Did your spouse cause it?
Did you cause it?
10% - You had no control over with what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 minutes is what caused your bad day. – 90%

Here is what you could have done effectively:

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say “It’s OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time.”Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs to put on a new shirt. You come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.You grab the papers that you are supposed to carry with you, kiss your spouse and you both go to work.You arrive 5 minutes early at the office and cheerfully greet the staff members.You arrive home after the office and your spouse and daughter are happy to see you. They hug you.

Two different scenarios
Both started the same
Both ended different

Why?
Because of how you REACTED.

Now you know the 90/10 secret.. apply it and you will be amazed at the resutls..

What happened with you has already been done and you need to get over with it. Learn a lesson, take some maturity and move on. This is the only way you could live in present and make it strong. If you worry lot about your past or future nothing can be resolved or made better, only thing is that you will be ruining your present. Hence stop thinking about your past or your future.. start living in your present tense and make most out of your life now. Remember the 90/10 secret.. and share it with all your friends too..

Henry

Answer 2

I know this guy was close to you, and what he said seriously hurt you. Don't let what he said put you down, and make you upset. Guys say some things to other people to get what he want at that time. I notice that a lot of guys devalue pass relationships when they are hanging or talking to somebody else. Guys don't think the same way girls do. Keep your spirits up, and stay strong.

Answer 3

it's very much obvious that you still love the guy because you are still affected with his opinions. and it is also obvious that he loves you still. I believe that the two of them have their fights because of you. Maybe that's why he had to tell her that he was never attracted to you. Just an advise- whenever you have questions in life regarding why people acted such way, think of the most probable reason that would satisfy you, the one which will give you peace of mind and not to continue to think of it anymore. Even if that is not the real reason, atleast you have a peaceful mind.

Answer 4

I think people can feel free to have the opinion that they want. They should be able to express there opinion, and those who listen (which should be lots of people) should have an open mind, and maybe change there opinion. Some opinions may not turn into anything, but it doesnt mean there worthless. Even if nobody treasures your opinion, you should. Its what makes you who you are.

Answer 5

I agree that you should let go what has been said by a dog on heat.

Bear in mind, when men want some of ""it", all the blood flows away from both their brain and their feet-to down there to get their equipment ready. That is the reason they say anything stupid, and they can't run either!

Have a nice evening !

Answer 6

I am unsure of what you are asking, but if you want my opinion, your life is your own so don't waste a minute. As for his and her opinions of who said what and when why who said it-, should not matter.
You know who you are and you also know that your a very nice person and able to have a wonderful life without someone, such as your partner of two years.
From now on look at life with a perfectly great aspect, I feel good I am able to get a date with a wonderful person who ;likes me for the person that I am.

Put this person behind you life is to short to worry about someone who is definitely unsure of himself and his or her life.
He has a problem with who he is. It's not you, carry on with your life and enjoy what it has to offer. You seem to have your head pretty well screwed on your lovely shoulders. Upwards and Onwards as they say.

Answer 7

He probably told her this to reassure her it was over between you two. And he probably has a huge ego and wanted her to be impressed by his stupidity. And she probably was till now. His probably told another girl the same thing about this girl as he did you. That he had no feelings for her and wasn't attracted to her. His just a jerk .

Answer 8

I believe, which ever one said it has something against you. If she said it I believe she is jealous and who knows what the guy may harbor in his mind against you for him to say such a thing. He may still be attached to you and said it to get free from you to give himself to his new girl. Who knows. Obviously he must have loved you and been physically attracted to you or would not have been with you in the first place.

Answer 9

Some guys have no scruples and will tell a girl what he thinks she wants to hear. You are well rid of him and if I were you I would rid myself of her too. She was cruel to tell you what she did, whether it was true or not. She wanted to hurt you for her own ego sake. Dump them both and never look back.

Answer 10

if the new gf told you this then it's probably a lie. shes insecure and figures if your gone he won't leave her. if you still care about him then pick up the phone and call him ask if he would meet you and just talk maybe he still cares to. try it at least you will know and can move on or try again if thats what happens