Mood swings after having a baby tpwards my husband?

Question

My daughter is 6 1/2 months old. When I am with her during the day I am very happy. I do everything for her. She is my sunshine. But when my husband comes home I get so moody and crumpy. I know it's because he doesn't help me around the house or do what I ask him but I get so moody with him.

I have, we fight about it all the time. It's so bad sometimes that I want to leave him. He tells me that the house is a mess anyway what's the point??? I can't believe he would say that. Wouldn't that just put you in such a shitty mood after you've spent all day taking care of our baby, doing laundry, dishes, cleaning around and making dinner????

I don't think I need psychological attention. I just need my husband to help me around the house and spend some time with his daughter. I know that we will fight about the same thing once I go back to work.

I've talked to him, we've sat down and talked. He would tell me that he would help more but he doesn't. For example, the laundry is done and folded, he agreed because of my back her would carry it up and put the laundry away. It will sit in our living room for a week, and if it makes it upstairs it will sit there for another week or so unless I DO IT. I think I have alot on my plate and I wish he would just give a helping hand. He says that I nag him to do this and that. And I tell him that I do that b/c he just sits there when he gets home and he puts me in a very bad mood. I become so bitter. I just want to feel happy.

I think that I am a very good mother and wife. I do give him attention. I take care of our baby during the day and do house work, make dinner. when he comes home dinner is on the table (literally), when he's at the gym I do the dishes (he used to help me, he used to do alot more before), then I clean around the house b/c of toys, blankets, high chair etc. I make him something to eat when he comes back from working out (that's at 11 pm sometime later). All I ask is a little help, that would make me happy. He's done this before, he's helped me with everything and I told him I must have been the luckiest person ever and that I am so happy. Then it all STOPPED!! stopped...everything!!!

I am not jealous or of him intruding. I love it when he comes home. I love it when we are all home together. I loved it when he read to her or play with her or when he changes her diaper. I don't remember the last time he changed her diaper. For the last month everytime he comes home he complains about feeling sick but he can pick himself up and go work out. He owns his own business and he does fine with it. When I talk to him during the day he sounds energized and busy, so I don't understand the sickness/flu like symptoms when he comes home. I am resentful and bitter b/c he's not helping me. I can't really take off with my girlfriends b/c by the time i can get out would be after 11 pm or 12 am when he comes back from working out and that's really late.

Answer 1

Dont feel bad...its happens to the best of us...Its got a lot to do with hormones, men not understanding us, postpartum, etc, etc, etc....just dont get 2 stressed over it....always communicate...if it gets to be 2 much for you, please talk to someone about it...I'm here if you need me

Answer 2

Having a baby can be a difficult transition. For so many years our lives are all about ourselves, and overnight they become about taking care of baby.

I think part of this is just post-pregnancy hormones, but there are still some things you can do about it.

First of all, get out of the house more. Go to parks, malls, library lap-sit story times, etc. This will improve your mood, and when you have more people to talk to, your husband's input will become less important.

Second, be really really nice to your husband. If you are sunshine and light for him, too, then he will be more likely to want to be involved with the house and the baby. Make sure that you give HIM attention, too, and not just the baby. Put as much effort into being a good wife as you are putting into being a good mother. When he does do good thing, beam at him adoringly and thank him, and tell him what a WONDERFUL father/husband/man he is.

Answer 3

My guess is that you need natural progesterone. If you were happy before the baby was born with him, then my guess is that your hormones are a bit off. If you aren't communicating with him, counseling may be in order and maybe he can express why he isn't helping more. Is he jealous, tired from a low-esteem job, or what? Are you angry he isn't helping or are you resentful that you have to share your time with your daughter and his coming home feels like intruding. There may be some deep digging to figure it out. Sometimes just a night out with the girls helps. Do something for your self every day even if it is only reading a page before going to sleep. It is wonderful that you are enjoying your daughter so dearly.

Answer 4

Very common.But you need to talk to him.He can't read your mind.He loves you and the baby,this is a big jump for a man.He is probably scared half to death.So much responsibility for a man.Women have so many raging hormones now this alone will turn a man around.
Please talk to him,you will find out how much he needs you,almost as much as that new baby.
love Nana<><

Answer 5

Well, you stay home all day, you shouldn't have to ask that much of him. It's probably your horomones all out of whack. Having a baby raises your chances of developing or worsening pre-existing mental illness more than 10%. You should probably hire someone to look after your kid for a few hours a week, spend more time with your husband and possibly seek psychological attention if your issues persist.

Answer 6

adult adult males do have temper swings. quite whilst they're under pressure. according to danger in simple terms communicate with the guy and ask him what's going on and why he's performing that way. He could have in simple terms had some undesirable days.

Answer 7

keep an open communication. he wont know why ur so irritated everytime he comes home, unless u tell him its because of him. if he had a long day at work, then try to understand each other. u both have responsibilities.

Answer 8

He loves you, right! Its o.k. to get pissed.But a piece of friendly advice, the marriage will suffer no matter how right or wrong either of you are.Stop the anger and blame now! It ruins half of all marriages the other half want to be happy together.love you guys!Good luck!(second marriage, no sweat)

Answer 9

Sounds like you know the answer already. Ask him for help.

Answer 10

Precursor for separation.