I have got married since last three months. He detected in the first night that I was not virgin. After that he started torturing me. He is very arrogant. He delivered so many slang languages to my parents, evev wanted to break their teeth and face.Now he is in abroad for last two months. He is neither calling me nor sending me any mail. Swveral times he told me that he is not happy with me after sex. I am not compatible for him. My question is : can anyone detect whether a girl is virgin. At this moment what I should do?
2007-03-04 16:58:39 · 13 answers · asked by sanjukta 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You poor girl, firstly, in this day and age of wearing tampons, not even a doctor can tell if you have had sex. Did this man only marry you because he thought you were a virgin? I think he sounds like a horrible pig, and you should be very happy that he has gone, imagine what it would be like to live like that, all your liife. Count your blessings, and get an anullment.
2007-03-04 17:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I did not understand is, in this day and age, when losing your virginity does not necessarily mean you have been immoral, and it can be effected by so many reasons, what I dont understand is why the hell did you have to tell him that you are not a virgin ? At this moment, run home, and get away from him as far as possible, explain to your family what happened, and then again, you dont have to explain to anyone, from his side or your side to question your character. What is important is you married this man, and he is supposed to love you, protect you...and do you know that if he is arrogant, and he has violence in him, your being a virgin or not a virgin does not matter...he would still enjoy hitting you on other reasons which I am sure he will find..
So on your question if it can be detected...really, I wouldnt know medically, but I do know that it is effected to various other reasons, like an active participation in sports, wearing tampons....etc., and at this point that is really not important. At this moment, what you need to do is get help, and get your family to support you, and make sure you do not concentrate on this ''virginity'' issue, which is really not important at this point of time.
good luck, and hope you start all over again, with someone who'll love you..
2007-03-04 17:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must say u have unbelievable patience to have been copping with such abusive situations. Was ur marriage arranged? Even if so, I think u should have told him ur past experiences and asked him about his coz I'll bet he had his own share of fun in his times. So why should u keep getting tortured for doing what u both had done. And as for his mean ways of thinking about ur parents, how could u let him talk such crap?Let him know u are nobody's slave to be tortured so. And get out of his life before its too late(no kids I hope).Women need not be a virgin coz we have our desires too. Next time try to be honest as much as possible.YES virginity can be detected and men are born gynaecologists!!
2007-03-04 17:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men seem to know,you have a right to your own life and happiness,no woman should be abused because she's not a virgin,that is so antiquated an idea and if your husband can't take it then is too bad.I hope you are old enough to stand on your own two feet and take charge of your life.Has it occured to you that he may be looking for another wife?
2007-03-04 17:20:35 · answer #4 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest with him and told him earlier before he found out. Upon finding out, your hubby must be very angry and that is way he became so violent towards you. Hearing that he went away for 2 months, he could have found another woman. I think when your hubby is back, you need to sit him down and talk to him about all that has happened and clarify the matter if there is need. It is not use to be a husband and wife if both of you can't understand/agree to somethings.
2007-03-04 17:09:35 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, no he cannot tell this. There is a myth that all virgins bleed which IS NOT true. But if you lied to him then he has rights to feel deceived. In today's society, most American men don't seem to mind if the girl they marry isn't a virgin. Good luck.
2007-03-04 17:22:32 · answer #6 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
practically it's not possible for anyone to detect virginity.
perhaps he is confused with ur not bleeding on the first night or the ease at which he could penetrate.
these r not proper signs to be confused with virginity.
many a gals without having any previous encounters may not bleed for simple reason that their hymen has been broken due to a variety of reasons and it can be made to well understood for the guy as so much of material is available on net.
So syop worrying and try to salvage.
2007-03-04 17:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by Kumar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he thinks virginity means love, he is wrong.
He is a machista, Terrible for you if you need to endure dissaponting faces.
Divorce him. Most men do not care about that anymore. Love is feelings, chemistry, giving, support, sweetness...if he cannot met the last... move on!
2007-03-04 17:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by noooway 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No test is available. You can be a virgin, and yet not have a hymen. You already know what you should do, you just need reasurement. Get rid of him.
2007-03-04 17:08:16 · answer #9 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he know that u are virgin, but telling that just to leave u, maybe he have other women that he is not care for u, or phone u.. it's not a reason to leave u dear... tell your family and his family, and go to doctor to check that, do u check yourself before marriage maybe they can check it dear.. don't worry u will be fine without him..
2007-03-04 20:46:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋