I think about her everyday, we are still friends and talk from time to time. She left me because things were not working out because I didn't want to take the relationship a step up (marriage) at the time (I was 23) and she lost confidence in me. She since dated briefly, and knowing that I since moved on and a year later am in an 8 month relationship with someone who I now care for deeply. I think about my ex everyday and miss her terribly (and have since the breakup). At one point my ex approached me about getting back together, but i declined out of spite (damn pride) because she dated someone else in the meantime, and I was in the middle of this relationship and couldn't just call it quits (plus I thought she may have just wanted me back because I was no longer available)....I love my ex to bits, but don't know if I should try and get her back or just let it go since the person I am with now is everything I ever wanted as well......I hate having to make this decision . . . .
2007-03-04 16:22:29 · 24 answers · asked by Some guy living in ontario 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't have everything, so deal with the person you are with since things are in her favor too. The ex has a stick since she's been with someone else and that would get in the way believe it or not before long if you two were to get back together. The both of you would be referring to the other people you had been with which would keep you from being as you were as a couple. Life isn't easy when it comes to starting over, so stop with the breakups and commit to show you've learned from your mistakes.
2007-03-04 16:29:29 · answer #1 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A cat and mouse game is a delicious diversion because it can feel so much like the real thing! But you have the memory of that and then you have today's reality. One is the game of wanting you back because she wants to show she can get you back if she wants it. You declining out of spite. How much fun is that? Both of you being into teasing games doesn't amount to a great love story and never will amount to anything substantial.
What is working for you is that this 'tease' is a distraction from committing to the relationship you are in now. Not a good game either. Make your decision. You are old enough to live with consequences and make serious life decisions. Why play high-school level games with an old flame?
2007-03-10 08:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you HAVE moved on and if the lady you are with now is everything you have ever wanted in a relationship, why are you torturing yourself about what could have been? You had the chance to marry the other lady, but something held you back>> could it have been that you had an inkling that since you were so "in love" with her that it would fade within a short period of years. I think your instincts were right and your thinking about her every day will only remind you of what could have been. In addition to that, you are not giving your present lady the opportunity to capture your heart and soul. If you can't forget about the first woman, your new lady will sense this in you and probably start to back away from you. She may even start to build a wall around her feelings for you so it won't hurt as much when ya'll break up. She deserves more than you are giving her now>>>>> don't loose her if she truely is all you have ever wanted. I think your first lady was was you're frist love, but there wasn't enough love to marry her. Please continue with your present lady and nurture what has the beginnings of the long-term, marrying type of love. Janet
2007-03-12 16:09:18 · answer #3 · answered by superwomangranny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once a dish is broken, It will never go back together the same. The best advice I can give from my own expiernce is to move on. Quit talking to her. When you leave the door open you are letting yourself get hurt. You are 23 years old, you should be focused on other things. When you declined to go back with her, It probably wasn't pride but true feelings. Dont lead her on and yourself. Goodluck!!! When you have true Love you dont have to ask questions! If you are thinking about the Ex the Current girlfriend isnt the one for you either!!
2007-03-04 16:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by camden102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this, but you are hardly "moving on" if you miss your ex "to bits". You can't have one foot in the old camp and the other in the new. You're going to have to draw the line and then walk away from either the ex or the new love.
To be honest, I'd walk away from the ex. Unless there is some overriding reason why you can't be happy with your new love, there's more to lose with the ex. It's already been demonstrated that neither of you were happy with the situation you were in and my guess is that you would be right back in the middle of all of those unresolved problems again. You would then realize what a fool you were to lose this fresh new start with another woman.
But, hey, it's your call.
2007-03-04 16:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Give it some time. During that time look at what you have now and be thankful for it. Is it what you hope for and can you see a future? If yes, stay.
If you still think about the ex after some time, everyday like you say, then you have to be honest with yourself. Life is to short to deny love and sometimes we are just meant to be with someone. Time can heal wounds and allow a relationship that once floundered to take flight IF both parties have taken time to reflect on what went wrong and truly want to change.
Good luck whatever you decide.
2007-03-12 06:27:40 · answer #6 · answered by why 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot stay where you are. Does the New Girl know? If not, she HAS to know before you make any firm committments to her, or you will wonder about the Other Girl all your life.
Put this relationship on hold for 3 months. If New Girl will not accept it, tough. better for her to go now than end up in a divorce court. If she loves you she will know she needs to wait and see how it pans out.
You obviously do not want to face hurting the New Girl, but delaying like this will be much worse down the pike.
2007-03-12 16:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by bak2deefuture 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are that you are just looking for the overwhelming blissfully blinding feeling of passionate love. There is no way that you feel that for your new women, because when you love someone deeply then there is NO ONE else, all you can see,breath and THINK about is THEM. I know you never said the word LOVE about the new one, only that you care for her deeply. I say let the new one move on to someone who will love her; she doesn't need you who still carries a torch for your past love. As far as the old girlfriend who you say you love, do whatever it takes to show your love for her and if it doesnt work out, well ce le vie>> YOU TRIED. Perhaps then you will have enough closure to move on in the RIGHT way!
GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-12 03:25:55 · answer #8 · answered by SunnyCK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay in the relationship that you're in. Let well enough alone. If you love your current gf, then don't hurt her in order to go back to something that didn't work.Just because you think of her, doesn't mean you two belong together. Don't hurt the one you are with. Let your love grow for her and go from there. At times, we are curious about what could have been, all the while missing what is right in front of us. We always want what we can't or shouldn't have.
2007-03-10 10:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to this one. The one you are with is everything you have ever wanted, why would you want to risk losing her forever by going back to someone who was pushing you into a Commitment you were not ready for. It would be no different now. Forget about her, and concentrate on the present with the one whos making you happy.
2007-03-11 10:54:27 · answer #10 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋