I met this girl. We connected right away about half a year ago. Started off as just friends. When we first met she liked this guy, we'll call Bob. Well it ended up that her and I started liking each other, but the problem was she still liked Bob. I backed off cause i didn't want to lose her completely. Recently she had been saying she didn't see us like that anymore until at a party she admitted that she did see me as more than a friend and she kissed me. I backed away and told her "this isn't right because you don't like me like that." but she said she did. Bob asked her out. She said yes. So I stopped calling her and rarely talked to her. This was really hard on both of us. She finally called me and said she misses me and that she wants to go back to the way it was. I know she still likes me but she's going out with him. There is more than her to this now, it's her family and friends too. She's meant so much to me and everyone says we're perfect together. What & how do I do this?
2007-03-04 16:16:55 · 11 answers · asked by mothads 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's nto exactly clear but it sounds like you pushed her away while she was available and so she ran to her second choice and that's who she's with now.
Wether or not she is with him right now, you need to tell her how you feel about her. Maybe she likes 'Bob' and maybe she doesn't. A lot of people only stay with a person to avoid being lonley and/or they think that's the best relationship they can have even though they're not happy in it and it's not appropriate long-term.
You owe it to her and yourself to tell her how you feel. An omission(leaving out the fact/avoiding telling her that you like her) is the same as a lie.
Take action! You will never know what you might get unless you try. If you don't do this you will never know what could have been and if you do end up getting together with her think about all the time you would have missed out with her because you procrastinated telling her how you feel. Even though it's a tough thing to do... if it doesn't work out, it will at least force you to grow as a person and develop emotional muscles that will benefit you with future relationships. Worst case scenario, it will give you the courage to approach other women in the future.
Tell her how you feel. If it's easier to do it over the phone then do it that way, just make sure you get your message accross. I hope it works out for you.
Best of luck!
2007-03-04 16:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's messing with you.
The ugly truth is that more than 50% of marriages will end in divorce. Nearly 3 out of 4 will be initiated by the woman. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn't level unsubstantiated "abuse" claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver's and professional licenses, make him virtually unemployable.
Enjoy her company as a girlfriend.
If you were to take up sky-diving, and the instructor informed you that 65% of the parachutes were defective, would you take the plunge?
I'll stay single, thank you.
nomarriage.com
2007-03-04 16:45:24 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds confused. Women can tend to get that way. I say give her a chance to show you if she means what she says BUT keep in mind that BOB is still in the picture. See where she stands with the Bob issue. Does she plan to dump him? Is she just trying to let him down easy? Is she just trying to see if it would work between you two before she lets him go? It is possible that she does care for you but the real question is what will it take for her to leave him for you. That my dear is what you must figure out. If you give her time (say a couple of months (don't tell her the amount of time) and she doesn't break it off with him LET HER GO. She may be playing you. But you have to give it time to know for sure. Also see what issues they may be having this will help you figure out what it will take to keep her happy once you have her.
2007-03-04 16:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by Dee Dee 24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing between the 2 of u can generally happen until she figures out who she wants 2 be with. She can't have her cake and eat it 2. She has 2 figure out who she wants a relationship with. I'd tell her exactly that. Say: I care about u and u know I have more than friendship feelings 4 u. However I can't be with u until u end the realtionship with "Bob."
2007-03-04 17:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by Abby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That kinda sounds like my ex, except he cheated on me but still trys to get me back. But my family hated him so yeah that made it easier on me. I just forgot about him, he cheated on me with the girl he's dating now but would always try to act like he wasn't dating her and would try to date me again. The sad part is she was one of my friends but not a close one. But I moved on and found a great guy, you know the kind that you dream about, that you sit there and think yeah i'm never going to find one of those. But in your case it would be a girl, yes. If you really think this girl is the one for you, then talk to her and ask her why she's with this other guy instead of you. But if I were you I'd talk to her for a long time before I'd be with her again OR you could "go steady" with her but don't get to attached again, just to make sure you are the one she really wants. This way you won't get hurt as bad.
Sometimes other people aren't worth so much pain.
2007-03-04 16:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by Amber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no relationship expert, but i have found myself in a smiliar situation. What I did was kindly confronted, let's call her sara. It was easier for me because sara is one of my best friends. I would say in ur situation, first approach her. Be emphaic that this requires a course of action. That you cannot play 2nd fiddle 2 this bob. get an answer before u do anything else.
2007-03-04 16:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by lily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of yourself. Can you deal with it that she is with Bob or will that bother you? If you are fine with it, try being freinds, but I have to tell you, it will never be exactly like it was - which doesn't mean it can't still be a good friendship. good luck, you sound like an ace of a guy.
2007-03-04 16:21:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a relationship is new people are on their best behaviours. If this is her best behaviour ... well, then it won't get any better. You have to ask yourself if you want a girl that yo-yo's between you and other guys. If you are fine with that, then ok.
2007-03-04 16:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's still with Ben right? So stop being her available doormat and get you a girl that will be all yours all the time.
2007-03-04 16:21:52 · answer #9 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound like you need to move on. she the one that playing both
side. she want her cake and pie as well.. time to get off the
roller-coaster.. think about it if it was so perfect then why
is she dating someone else. and calling you at the same time.
she playing games.
2007-03-04 16:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋