Do you think most straight people are naive about how homophobic society is?

Question

I think most of the straight people in my life have a sort of naive impression that the world is a lot more friendly for gay people than it really is. I live in a pretty liberal part of the country (Massachusetts) so homophobia probably isn't as bad as it is in some places, but it still plays a part in my daily life... but if I ever tried to tell my family that they'd say I am overreacting. Anyone else feel the same way?

Okay when I say homophobic I don't mean overt acts of violence, etc... and I don't necessarily mean to confine it to the area in which I live... I mean that a lot of people I know seem to not understand how bad it is in some other places and that there are a lot of things people do unintentionally...

Answer 1

I wish that all the gay people would stop whining about how they're not treated well, and how they are discriminated against. I think if gay people, especially gay men would stop flaunting it around and hitting people over the head with their choice of sexuality there wouldn't be so many people akin to homophobia.
Personally I enjoy the company of people who have common interests.
Talking with a lisp, acting like a sissy boy and parading around like a fairy aren't qualities that I look for in any of my male friends straight or gay. However if a gay male shares interests such as my own and acts normal then I have no problem with them. So I think that society is as homophobic as you make it. If you don't act like a freak show everyday then you'll be accepted by the general population.

Answer 2

Yeah, some people really don't. I wrote this story for a Valentine's Day story contest (and it has also been submitted to my school's literary magazine that comes out at the end of the school year) and it has a really sad, homophobic end (it's about two gay kids). You can probably take an accurate guess what that was (one of them was beaten and then shot). Anyway, a few of my friends were like, "It was good...but it was accurate, I mean, no one's going to do that!" So, I found like 20 articles about homophobic acts of violence and it was like the biggest culture shock for them ever.
It really depends on where you are. I really hate when people tell me that I am over-reacting and that homophobia isn't that bad. I used to go to a school where I would never even think of coming out of the closet. People who tell me that I'm not really gay, I tell them how it was living there. I had no friends for 6 months while I realized who I was (I was hitting puberty and such). Then, I started to make some friends, slowly. I came out when I knew I would be moving in like a month and I lost almost all of them. Anyway, yeah, people don't get how mean people can really be and it really can be annoying when you've experienced it firsthand.

Answer 3

Yes. I think we can be naive re homophobia in some respects. I've always lived in large urban cities since leaving my hometown of 6000. As a result, I've come to know many gay people & am not homophobic nor are my friends. After all, we work & party together. We are friends & many are relatives. Plus, gays in urban areas aren't normally closeted (ok I don't know that for sure).

Last summer I attended a family reunion & couldn't believe the look of disgust I saw on a cousin's face when something came up about a gay hairdresser in town (boy do I feel sorry for him!). She didn't 'know' any gays & gave me a look of disgust when I told her she did but didn't 'know' it.

But we're not as naive as you think we are. Most men I know are homophobic (I'm female). And, of course, we know about the military & read about atrocities done to (usually) gay men.

It's just that we don't often see homophobia. I have never once been with a gay person who was discrimated against or denigrated but I know it happens. I'm just sorry to learn its a daily occurence; I had no idea. Why your family won't believe you is interesting. Maybe they just don't want to know that their child/brother must deal with it daily.

Answer 4

I am a straight woman. Numerous friends of mine are gay men (simply by accident) I certainly believe gay life is difficult. Just read some of the ignorant posts on here. However, most of my friends have no problem because they pay it no mind and are very comfortable and confident in their own lifestyle. I imagine EVERYONE has some obstacle to overcome and whether yours is greater or smaller makes no difference. It is HOW you overcome it and what small things you can do to maybe try to make it different for the next generation.

Answer 5

Yknow chief, I may be naive, but your life isnt that bad, especially in Massachusetts.

Granted, society isnt perfect, and we have a long way to go before racism, sexism, and homophobia are completely eliminated.

But at least recognize that youre pretty well off. If you go out to your local gay pride parade, no-one is going to beat you or throw human feces at you. (Thats what happened at the last attempt at a gay pride parade in Latvia). So at least be thankful that you dont live there.

Answer 6

I think they just don't care. I myself am bi and get a lot of hate on Y!A mostly guys calling me names and such. I think it's funny because the more they "Hate" the more it shows that they are worried about themselves. Very few men haven't fanasized or at least thought about doing some form of sex with other guys. Or at least like to watch. If my girlfriend doesn't care why should others care?

Answer 7

If you mean to have a blind hatred for homosexuals (perhaps not individuals they have met), then I totally agree with you.
I see rampant hatred, excused by religion, culture, the definitely need to have MORE BABIES, etc. But I also have found in my own life only a few whose hatred actually remained after meeting me as a person. (I guess they excused it by saying I was "one of the few good ones"). Pretty sick society we live in.

Answer 8

I don't know. I'm straight and have a lot of Gay/lesbian and bisexual friends. They all know I'm straight and I know that they aren't, and we're still friends =). I don't think you are overreacting, I know there are a lot of ignorant people who are homophobic, racist, sexist, etc everywhere.

Answer 9

I dont think its just homophobia. All sorts of prejudice exist everywhere. It's scary that we all consider areselves to be so intelligent, yet we can't learn to live with one another regardless of our differing personality traits.

Answer 10

Well, most people who are straight don't really have to deal with the discrimination. They don't see things through gay/bisexual eyes.