Is this okay? 14 Yr old daughter?

Question

I only have one child, a daugter who's 14. She is very responsible and is a straight A student. She has just started dating her friend and I don't know what to think or do. I have met the boy many times and he has been at my house. He is a very nice and responsible boy. They havn't really gone out on one on one dates just group dates. I don't know what to think of the situation, HELP

Answer 1

Generally 16 would be a better age to wait until to start dating. But at least she is not sneaking behind your back and they are group dates...I would be grateful. It sounds like she is being responsible...but because of the earliness of age it could lead to more and sooner. Just keep an open relationship with her, if she starts being sneaky...something may be up.

Answer 2

Well personally I wouldn't let my daughter date at that age. Most likely the boy is putting on a front so you can think exactly like you are thinking now " Oh he is a nice boy he wouldn't do anything with my daughter". Well let me tell you. I'm 18... just turned. I'm very responsible always was. I was 15 when I started asking my mom if I could date aa few months later she said yes but the dates must be with other people and she had to meet the guy. She did and she thought he was the nicest sweetest guy ever. In the next couple of weeks he started acting funny, he started asking very sexually suggestive questions like: when would I let him take my virginity? I told him I'm gonna stay a virgin for a long time. He got upset and stopped coming over as much. Then a few months later he came by while nobody was home and all I'm going to say was when I went to the doctors I found out I was pregnant!! So never be too careful. If you are gonna let you're daughter date just be aware of how relaxed the boy is getting wit her. 14 is a little young to be dating any way. Just be careful you don't wanna end up with a grandbaby when you sill have a baby!!

Answer 3

Hi. Well, to tell you the truth, I don't have kids, and in fact, I am a teen. Your daughter doesn't want you freaking out, but you also need to have a firm ground in this situation. It's good that they've gone on group dates. I strongly advise that you enourage them to continue dating in this manner. Because that means they won't be completely alone, but they will also probably feel more comfortable, and so will you, most likely. That's great that your daughter is responsible, and a straight A student. Make sure that her boyfriend does not pull her astray from working hard in her education. And since you only know some stuff about this boy, that's great, but I would invite him over for dinner a few times, or some movie nights, and really get to know him. Have actual conversations, and be yourself. Make sure to make him feel comfortable though. And talk with your daughter. Just have those girly conversations, and see what she thinks of him, and try to figure out what he thinks of her, so you have some what of an idea what you're "dealing" with. And make sure that you are giving her some freedom, but not too much. Maybe set a boundary. Believe me, even though they are both good and responsible, there are moments that that can entirely change. I hope I have helped.

Best of Luck!

Answer 4

Don't think the worst, for starters!! It'll only get your blood pressure rising!!! :)

All mothers (and fathers) get VERY nervous when their babies start dating. That is a fact that has been around for ages and ages.

Take your daughter to lunch and have a heart to heart. Let her know that you truly trust her to make the right decisions and that communication between the two of you will remain open for any type of conversation. Let her know that dating can get a little personal but you want her to know that no matter what the questions - you'll be there. Scaring her away with "threats"...ie.. you better NOT have sex.....you better NOT get pregnant..... those types of things will make her more curious to find out what it is that your hype is all about. Remind her that it is still early on in her dating relationship but if there is ever a point where she thinks thing are getting more serious that you are more than willing to talk to her about it.

With a responsible and straight A student on your hands I can surely see you've been doing it right!! Keep it up. Don't let your wonderful parenting skills go downhill because you are scared. You can do this.

Answer 5

Just talk with her and get to know her and the boy more, based on their status. keep updated and supervise. Know the parents and see how they also handle the situation. Allow them to know your "limits" as where your daughter can be and not to be alone etc.

It is very common and welcome to teenage dating 101......I was a teen a few years back and trust me, there is ups and downs. Faults and good judgments. This is the journey she will be learning about herself, boys, dating and life begining in general. Allow her to do so, but guide her to a safe journey as you can. but over bearing, sheltering and not giving her space will only push her away. You too will be learning as well.

It is also the time to talk to her about more "sex, dating, boys" talk, as she will find herself being pressured (maybe not this boy, but maybe the next she might date, only time will tell) or from friends. She might find something fun and experiment or find it courious.

Ex: A friend gave me a flavored condom when I was 14, just for jokes cuz I was curious what a condom actually looked like . My mom flipped.......but I was a virgin and had no plans for sex til I was an adult. so, it took a lot of explaining (embarressing..) and trust to move on from the situation.

Answer 6

It's hard to see your babies grow up. If she is responsible and you have raised her right, trust her to do the right thing. If you think the boy is nice then I don't see a problem letting them go out for a movie or something. However, if you suspect that things are going too far, step in immediately. Be sure that you have given her the sex talk so that she understands everything that can happen. Most importantly, be there for her to talk to and keep the lines of communication open. If you don't, she may start that whole 'teen rebellion thing.

Answer 7

Ok start with talking to your daughter about 1)Sex 2)Protection and 3) what you expect or want - like what is ok and what is not. Maybe like, they shouldn't be in a house alone, how often they can see each other, if they are aloud to go out alone or if they need a chaperon. Continue to talk to her everyday about everything and when she has a problem she will come to you. Also try not to over react when she tells you something, that might scare her and next time she might not talk to you.
AND you need to go over all the rules with the boy that she is seeing and let him know the rules!
Good luck

Answer 8

You can trust your daughter, and her friend is a responsible, nice boy. However you can also be sure at this age they do not need to be in a situation where they are alone together. Keep her close. There are many activities they can attend in controlled groups. You or another adult should be at hand.

Answer 9

I think that's great. At her age it's good to have group dates. Really that's all they can do. I think you would feel better if you and her talk about what her and her boyfriend do. Try to be interested without being judgmental or motherly. Get to know her and him as much as you can. It's time to open your relationship with her. She's growing up and you have to acknowledge this fact. Not to say you should stop being a mother but realize she's not a baby anymore. Soon you will have to talk about sex and drugs and so on.Now is the time to make a strong woman to woman bond. So when the time comes to address the harder stuff it won't be impossible.

Answer 10

You said that you have a very responsible 14 yearold daughter and she is going to want to date boys. it's a good thing that her boyfriend appears to be responsible too! i think that you need to put trust in your daughter that you brought her up well enough to have a relationship with a boy. i would recommend that you just be there for her whenever she needs someone to talk to about it! You have no idea how much that will help the process and she will be more inclined to talk to you about things going on in her relationship.