I'm a single parent and I wok the night shift 11p-7a,and a pt student.My friend of 10 yrs suggested instead of me taking my 11yr old to my mom house while I work at night because my mom is disabled she would watch my daughter for free.Just bring snacks,o.k she's been keeping my daughter for 1yr and today my daughter told me when she be in the tub my friends boyfriend will tell her to pull the curtain so he can use the bathroom.I asked her has Kevin ever I mean ever touched her and she said no.And my friend has 2 kids with this man.We've been close for yrs.How should I address this to my friend as well as her man?Please help.
2007-03-04 13:18:13 · 24 answers · asked by dccuttie75 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
RED FLAG!!...I would take it to both of them at the same time and tell them you are not comfortable with this guy,and tell them why....do not wait for something to happen and scare your kid for life...to hell with the friend this is your kid..and if shes a friend she will want to protect your kid too,hell I don't know you and this is in appropriate to me....Id put an immediate stop to it and praise your kid for telling you and make sure she knows you have HER" back..hes got to go!!!tell your mom too...
2007-03-04 13:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by 2fitornot2fit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may very well be just an innocent action by a guy who wasn't thinking. But your concern is well-founded these days.
I'm a former single-dad who started being so when my daughter was 11. In the situation you describe, I'd talk to my friend about it, and let her know my concerns.
I'd also talk to my daughter about being assertive in those types of situations. She'll run into lots of situations in the next few years that you won't be able to anticipate and she should start learning to let others know, adults included, just what her safety and comfort zone is. And do keep talking to your daughter as it sounds that you have open communications with her right now, and God knows, you'll want to keep it open in the next few years.
One other thing, if you ever get a gut feeling that something is wrong in what she says/doesn't say or even the way she says it, don't ignore it. Good luck
Peace
2007-03-04 16:07:49 · answer #2 · answered by zingis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he didn't ask her to pull the curtain then I would be worried. Since your daughter has said nothing else has happened, you probably have nothing else to worry about.
Question: is that the only bathroom in the house? Was the other one being used? There could be a very good reason he had to do what he did.
That being said, if you are worried you can do nothing but take her out of that house. Your friend will not understand no matter what you say. She will also not be your friend if you bring it up. Your choice.
2007-03-04 13:25:55 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This subject is soooo hard for any parent I hate to think this could happen to my little girl and I will NEVER let just anybody with her thats why if I have to go somewhere I would let family keep her other then someone I don't trust with all my heart or don't know. I would take her out of the situation and let your mom keep her again as long as your mom is able to take care of her. Thats why I have never let any of my friends keep my kids because it just gets too deep when you get your childrens life involved. I wish you the best and hope you find an answer for this!!! Good-luck
2007-03-04 13:28:52 · answer #4 · answered by Chandra H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he needed to use the bathroom bad and he tried to do the right thing..........Life is Hard but God and Friends are good and it seems to me she is trying real hard to help you not hurt you. I think if your daughter is 11 and old enough to know she has to report to you if she gets approached....it could be just a one time passing thing. If the guy makes it a habit of doing that I'd be concerned....but, for now I don't think that's the case so, it's not worth maybe offending your friend. After all nothing wrong did happen
2007-03-04 13:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would your daughter be taking a bath there...if you work at 11...you must not be taking her a long time before you go to work...it doesn't add up...but the bottom line ....it would rectify it by just not having her take baths there...if your friend asks why not...it would be a door open to tell her...just say....I appreciate you so much, but @@@@ isn't comfortable taking baths and having Kevin needing to use the bathroom while she is in there...It would just be better, with you only having one bathroom, for @@@@ to just take her baths at home. I appreciate you wanting to take care of her baths for me...but she is getting older now...and is feeling more sensitive about being private.
2007-03-04 13:56:44 · answer #6 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many bathrooms do they have? He may have had to go REALLY badly! But if there is more than one bathroom, don`t leave your daughter there!! If it was a one time thing, o.k. If it`s persistent, ahh, there is a problem. I think you need to source out your worries, ask your friend what happened, tell your friend you`re uncomfortable with this situation. If she takes offense then, I would re-situate your daughter, something funny is going to happen, or is already happening.
2007-03-04 13:26:57 · answer #7 · answered by lost2day 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think a "Gentleman" goes to the bathroom with an eleven
year old girl in the room. How would you feel in the same situation? I would be making other plans for my daughter. The easy way isn't always the best.
2007-03-04 13:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Immediately remove your child from your friend’s house. Take the child to your mothers then speak to your friend.
Ask her if she’s aware this guy is entering the bathroom when your child is in there. His behavior is not acceptable. Think of your child. Work can wait and not as important as the welfare of your child.
I know its hard, but you have to find a day time job or have the child stay with her father. There are some child care services who are open over night, but they are far and few in between.
2007-03-04 13:26:04 · answer #9 · answered by bwiz2007 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, QUIT SENDING YOUR DAUGHTER OVER TO YOUR FRIEND'S PLACE. sit and talk like 2 adults. Explain to her that you and your daughter are uncomfortable with the idea of someone coming into the washroom whenever she's using it. Do not lie, this will make the situation worse. Be open and honest, not rude and aggressive but assertive.
2007-03-04 13:27:02 · answer #10 · answered by Reidi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋