Have you ever felt empty inside. I am a giver but I don't feel like I have anything left to give?

Question

How can I snap out of this slump?

Truth time. I am feeling drained because my husband is cheating on me and I have tried everything to get him to open up to me and he just denies everything. I would do anything for anybody and it just seems like sometimes it isn't enough. Now I just don't want to do anything for anyone.

Answer 1

Life & relationships

A time comes in your life A time, a moment whatever???? comes in your life when you finally get it (REALLY). When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and its OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are, and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. . . and that it is your right to want things that you want. and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch. and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve. and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can. It's all about timing.

Answer 2

That's because you DON'T have anything left to give. It is now time to rest. There are so many ways to enjoy yourself. Attend gatherings & meet new friends, some people to chat on the phone with or eat lunch with, or sit on the porch with! If you insist that you still want to be productive, go (in person) to the nearest elementary school & talk to the principal. Offer to come to the school, say, 3 afternoons a week & read to the students so some over-worked teacher can have a whole period to catchup on her paperwork or lesson plans. Now, what a gift that would be, to the students, the teachers, & also to yourself! Make some lemonade out of that lemon! Good luck.

Answer 3

i so know how you are feeling. I am the same. I give to the point that it makes me feel like i have nothing more worth giving. Unfortunately, this turned me against myself in the sense that one day i felt so crap that i believed what everyone else was saying "You never make time for yourself" and was diagnosed with serious clinical depression and anorexia nervosa. I am just starting to understand that you HAVE to have a balance between yourself AND other people. It could be helpful to talk to a counsellor(if you're like i think you might be, you may not want to do this but its worth a try). I really hope that you can deal with this issue in a healthier way than i did. Hospital enforced counselling is not nice.Give it a try.It may be helpful.Good luck

Answer 4

yes! i'm very much a giver and sometimes that in it's self can make me feel empty as though i have nothing left to give. being depressed can cuz this feeling. It's like you have nothing left not even tears. try writing about how your feeling or if you like drawing do that...just get you feelings out somehow....also music can be something that's a great way to make you 'feel' if you've never heard music by Andy Timmons i would suggest you look for some...it can really make you feel...or just pick you fav atrist that uplifts you.

Answer 5

I am a giver too. I recently went through the same thing, and I had to change who I was giving to. In other words, I had given all I had to teenagers with little or no response, and sometimes I felt so empty. Now I am giving to my parents, mother-in-law, and church. You will always be a giver, but you may want to change your enviroment a little

Answer 6

It's possible to over-give. Life needs balance, maybe you need to treat yourself to some new clothes or a nice dinner and take a break from being SO kind....just a week or two to recharge. Keep fighting the good fight, let your actions and your life be an example to others!

Answer 7

odd how we pour from our glass and are left feeling empty isn't it?!?!
I know very little at age 29 but I'v picked up a few things along the way. One of them is, these feeling your having, as you are probly well aware, tend to come and go in life. Moreover, feelings of satisfaction are typically derived by heart felt reactions TO us, not always what we'v done for others. Kind of goes against what we'r taught, I think we'r taught to believe this so we will react possitively to others (to make them feel good) realizing if everyone were to do this we'd find ourselves ploeased more often. develope a support circle, I'd love to be a part of your circle, because I know now your a good person simply by the question you pose.Love ya

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title: In need of care
I'll know you be this title, we can change it later

Answer 8

We all need to refill and recharge ourselves. Take a look at your daily schedule and make sure you are doing something for yourself every day. Also whatever your spiritual beliefs are, take time to recharge in that area as well. Even doing something like yoga or walking evry day will help recharge you physically which will help with your mood. Also check your schedule and see if you are maybe doing too much for others and burning yourself out. Right now while you recognize that you feel empty is a good time to reprioritize and reorganize your schedule.

Answer 9

Yes, everyone has moments in which they feel empty inside. Sometimes you just need to relax and take time out to treat yourself to something nice. That helps me snap out of my slump. I hope that it helps you too.

Answer 10

If you are truly a giver, when someone else needs from you it will fill the void. A giver has to be giving to feel whole.

Answer 11

You can feel that way at times, I too have had the feeling of just being use up.