when i got sick, all my friends ditched me?

Question

i was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in '05 when i was 18. my friends didn't change much then. but now i'm having more health problems, i lost 20 lbs in two months, i had surgery on wed. and am getting tested for lymphoma and still's disease. i have about three dr. appts a week, and am forced to only work part-time now. ever since my problems increased, my two best friends don't call me or want to hang out with me or anything. i dont understand it, have 8 years of friendship how they could just drop me. i haven't changed aside from the physical aspect... how should i approach them?

Answer 1

You can ask them for a get together and ask them if they are scared that you have gotten sick, and could they please come over or you three get together to talk that you really need someone right now. You can explain to them that they can't catch what you have and you feel that they have abandoned you and if this doesn't help and If they don't then you can't make them. I know this is a trying time. I got sick about nine years ago and all my friends disappeared, but two. Only one of my four siblings came to see me in ICU. I was left for a friend to pick up when I could come home from the hospital. I was in the bed for 3 months no driving nothing, and I never had felt so alone. They don't understand if they never been sick. It's sad but true, and if no one has ever been in your shoes they can't understand. Being your so young it's very hard to understand the actions of others. I hope you pray for answers. If they are your true friends they will come back around. If you have a Church try to go when you feel up to it. Also ask for the Priest, Minister or whomever preaches the sermon to put your name on the prayer list. Try to find a church if you don't have one. You can make new friends in the Church. I hope you believe in God because he can help you through this. He has always helped me, even when I thought he wasn't there and had doubt of his existence. God saved me from myself, when I gave up he carried me through and still does. I ask him to guide me everyday and at your age it may seem he is far away being as ill as you have. Good Luck and God Bless you.

Answer 2

Let them know that you understand that they might feel uncomfortable around you because of your health, but that you are really counting on their support at this time. Encourage them to ask questions, but make sure you are talking about a lot of other things than your sickness. I know you're life is probably consumed by it for the most part, but go to group therapy or somewhere like that so you can talk to people who really understand what you're going through and leave your friends to be there for laughing and having as much fun as possible.

Answer 3

Okay sweetie, your friends are probably worried something will happen to you. I know how it feels, when my best friend was diagnosed with a few diseases most of our friends went away because they were worried that Joy would get worse and they would just be forgotten. They were scared they would get dissappointed and just get left hanging. Thank goodness I was there for Joy or she would not have had anything or any support. I hope you feel better honey and I'm praying for you. (:

Answer 4

Well I would say you should tell them exactly what is happening to you and make sure they understand, but also let them know you still can have fun. If they still don't get it they might not be very good friends. Maybe try to meet some new people too, and hang out with family if you can. It is very unfair of your friends to ditch you.

Answer 5

then, like evryone else says they're not ur friends. friends r supposed 2 b there 4 u all the time, especially the hardest times. if they dont want 2 b seen w/ u now then they were just using u the whole time cuz u dont kno if a friend is really a true friend until something like this happens. when i started having health problems thats when i found who my true friends were

Answer 6

Those are not genuine friends. True friends stick to you despite you change physically. But it mite be your appearance shocked them alittle. No offense. If you insist, you should take the initiative to them and tell them how hurt u been as they ditched you. You totally need their support. You cherished the friendship thru thick and thin. Im very sorry to hear that you are being so diseased. I pray to God to grant you strength and you be healed soon.

Answer 7

well if they havent been there 4 u then forget them they arent ur friends from the beginng n they throw out the 8 yr relationship not u if u what 2 u can try 2 talk 2 them meanin be honest with them n tell then how much of a b.....es they r 2u

Answer 8

Simple! They were never your Real friends! Dump the whole mess of `em. You've got us! I'll certainly be here, if you need a Friend. Good Luck on everything.

Answer 9

Your friends should visit but perhaps they are hurtful to see you ill and do not know how to cope with the issue. Call up your friends and see what is going on with them and see if perhaps they can visit you or them. Speak about how youi feel and tell them you would like their support.

Answer 10

Guess they weren't realy your friends. Most people are uncomfortable with illness, it reminds them that they could get sick too. A real friends stickd by you.