I need your help!?

Question

Im 14 years old and gay. I want to come out to my parents and a few friends. I would have done it but im extremely nervous about how they would react. I am afraid they would reject me. Im afraid they would look down upon me. Im afraid they wont love me. (Or not as much as they did before.)
I need your advice on what to do. When and how did you come out? What was peoples reactions?
This is a serious topic. I dont want to here some bored persons bull crap.

Answer 1

I wish I could be with you and knew your parents. If ur sure they love you, come out

Answer 2

I wish I had had your courage when I was 14. I didn't come out until I was an adult, because of all the reasons you mentioned. Fear. When I did come out, eveyone accepted it, and I felt free. I was lucky, not everyone is. Unfortunately too many times, family and friends do turn their backs on us when we come out. Don't let that stop you. Pick the person you are closest to, whether that is a friend or family and when you are ready tell them first. You might want to test the waters with people, to see how they feel about gays, and you can call a kids help line to see if there are any gay youth groups in your area. They can offer you support and guidance. Bottom line is, there are people out there that will accept you and love you for who you are, and there are people who won't. You deserve to be with the people who will, and the only way you will know is by coming out. The most important thing is to do it when you are ready. You will know when it is the right time.
Good luck to you, know that you are who you are, and love yourself for that, anyone who can't accept you isn't worth your concern.

Answer 3

Listen, you are their child and they are probably proud of you for who you are as an individual. being gay is not the end of the world, but it may seem to be for you until you tell them. Are you sure they have no idea?? Who would be the easiest to tell or ask if they know.?? I'm sure you know them better than anyone here. It would seem that you have got to do this sometime so do it soon--make an appropriate time for a nice talk---may be a book in the store or library might help first. How about a clergy or a doctor for advice. Yor aren't the only one---millions of kids have done this....so get busy. be proud of who you are...have a nice life..smile and good luck

Answer 4

Which one of your parents do you feel closest to? Try and find the right quiet time to confide in this person. Start by affirming that you love and respect them and your home, and that you need help with something that is a problem for you. When you feel that you have complete attention and concern, just quietly say what is happening to you and ask for help in understanding how to deal with it. This a a big hurdle for a lot of parents, but they love you now, and will love you to-morrow. When your parents have settled down, then it will be time to confide Ina few friends, one trusted one at a time. don't be in a big hurry, as 14 is young to deal with a lot of heavy duty attitudes. Best wishes

Answer 5

You need a neutral person with you when you tell your parents. If they loved you before they will still love you. Some parents can not handle this situation. They think there off springs should be normal children.Watch how your friends react to you, also. Will they sneak behind your back and call you names.No matter which way you go, it is going to be rough roads ahead of you.

Answer 6

Well, that's a real tough question. A lot of people act differently towards homosexuality, and I can't really say for sure how everyeone around you is going to react. it's definetly a hard thing to do. You gotta come right out (Haha, sorry) and say it plain and simple. If they freak out on you, they will get over it. They might be mad for a long time, but they will get over it. It's gonna be tough, but I hope that you're around people that will aceept you as you.

Answer 7

usually people say, "oh, your parents will accept you anyway," but that's some bull. not all parents will accept your decision right away, but dont be crazy, man, they'll still love you. try catching them at a relaxed time, so they can think about what your saying. stay calm, whatever their reation. if they get angry, dont show that you are hurt. stay honest, and get it over with. do the same with your friends, but make sure you tell your friends that you can totally trust. if one of your friends spreads gossip, dont tell them (obviously) more power to you man, and good luck. stay strong!

Answer 8

My coming out process was convoluted and I suppose I was something of a later bloomer compared to most. When I did come out, people's reactions were mixed. For the most part people's responses were fine.

I will tell you one thing....there were some people who reacted badly when I expected them to be okay and there were also many whom I feared telling and when they were informed, I was pleasantly surprised by their loving and supportive attitudes.

I always recommend this link to youtube for a very touching video prepared by someone planning to come out. Please watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kfqZaRR8u4

Answer 9

Tell your parents,if you must.But why? It is nobody's business.Just go along with everything and you will be surprised at how it is NOT a big deal. I know plenty of gay relatives and it has not made any difference in relationships.Don't worry about it;it will be cool.

Answer 10

Speaking from personal experience, I know how important it is for YOU to come out to those you love and care about, and share something with them that is an important part of who you are. Also, understand though that coming out is a very personal experience that may leave you and those you come out TO, feeling a variety of emotions.

Coming out can be liberating as well as leaving you feeling vulnerable and exposed. You can't read people's minds, so you never know for sure how it's going to be taken by those you tell. You may think, "Ah, I'm glad that's over, now I can be myself" which may be what you're thinking now, that coming out will be liberating for you, and you won't have to carry this "secret" anymore. However, also realize that it leaves you vulnerable as well. What if you tell one of your friends and they aren't as trustworthy as you think and they tell someone who tells someone who tells someone else, and the next thing YOU know, you've just been outed to your whole school or something? Can you handle that right now? Because, as much as I KNOW you want this to go smoothly, bad things can, and still DO happen. I would only worry about coming out to those who you know with absolute certainty you can TRUST and who will handle the situation MATURELY. Unless you feel you are ready to be totally out, and not CARE about what your friends may do with the information and you dont CARE if the world knows. If that's the case, then come out, becasue you have nothing to fear regardless. But, I'd say if you're not ready for the unexpected,or if you're not ready to be proud of your homosexuality to ANYONE who may question you or harass you about it, then I'd say wait a bit until you have enough confidence in yourself and enough self-love to let those types of people not bother you.

Your parents may surprise you and be totally cool with it and love you regardless, (which, if they're your parents they SHOULD love you regardless)or, they too may go through a variety of emotions as well. They may react in anger, they may say things they'll regret later, they could even disown you. They may go through a period of depression or where they feel guilty and blame themselves. Without knowing your parents, this is hard to say. You're only 14. You sound pretty sure in who you are and what you want, but keep in mind, coming out is a very emotionally stressful and draining process. IF this is something you feel you NEED to do at your age, I would suggest talking with a glbt center close to you, or consulting PFLAG. which stands for parents, family and friends of gays and lesbians. They have resources for how to come out to parents and also for parents on how to deal with having a gay or lesbian child.