Why do people confuse my honesty and passion for subjects to me being a b****?

Question

Im kinda really sick of all the jokes that suround me. Just about everytime I comment on something, Its like Ive spoken the unspeakable. Im pretty sure some people think it but just dont say it (out loud). Im not talking about hurting peoples feelings. Im talking more along the lines of pointing out stupidity. For example.... my kids school has two one way lanes to pick up and drop off. These idiots! sorry but seriously. They are so inpatieint that instead of waiting minutes they drive up the fire lane where all the kids are walking out of school. Ive even seen them back out over the sidewalk where kids are crossed by the CHILDREN crossing gaurds. This is just one example. It just makes me sick. Ive went to the police station and I was told "3:00 is our shift change". So apparently at 3 o'clock I can go rob a bank because there are no police officeres available!!GRRRRR

I do agree that maybe sometimes I do come across the wrong way. I am aware that I have b**** like qualities. However, like I said now pretty much everything I comment on is generalized on that.

About a year ago I was waiting in the lane to pick up my children. A man in front of me picked up his children then approached my van and told me to back out so he could get out faster. I refused so he started cursing at me. (not to mention I was about 6 months pregnant) He thought by simply intimidating me he was going to get his way. But I stayed strong and ignored him. When I took that to the principal she told me she was aware of the situation and had the monitor take care of it. The next day the monitor and this man are in the parking lot chatting it up giving man hugs and daps!

Answer 1

I run into this too..... and OFTEN. Even when Im not complaining or even upset....something about the way speak, in general, upsets people. Even offends them, at times.

I'm sharp and witty and honest. And while I like that about myself, its apparently an unfortunate combination.

Oh...well. You know what you are, and if you are anything like me, you couldn't care less about what people who don't "get" you think anyway.

Answer 2

Well your efforts are well meant and you feel not listened to when you try to do something about it. Then others see use as a total b***h until somebodies car gets hit in there or somebody gets run over then you can say told you so.....but don't carry it with you. You did a noble deed and nobody listened. My best suggestion is if you are really obbssesed with the Idea of punishing the violaters Video tape the morning acttivities go there early. Then replay it at the board of education. find someone there who will listen to you and then see what happens. Since it is on school grounds by what I understand it jurisdicition gets tricky even if it is a city school a lot of cities treat it like a seperate enity. We ran in to this when trying to build a new school. I thought we had lots of land to build on then discovered half was city schools the other city parks. the only true marker I found was where the city parks and shool grounds seperated was by the widness of the sidewalk school side was 2 feet wider than city parks. That was where the line was. The school board is responsible for the safety of the students regardless of what your principle says. If a kid gets hit on school property guess who gets sued? I'm sure if you mention lawsuit or being sue somewhere in your conversation someone will listen. Another thing don't address a problem you have as one person direct as a group or if it is about 1 person make it indirectly like I don't like the way people speed and use the firelane at school to be in such a hurry someone could be hurt or killed. When directing at a froup instead of individuals it's less threatening and the talk of you will go away. Another thought see if your local news paper has a readers opinion page write an article for that but include all contact information as they need your actual voice verification. It must be nice to have a police department that tells you when they change shift by the time they have there briefing and be brefing meetings the city is wife open for any crime. What City do you live in I need some extra cash...lol

Answer 3

It seems that when you express your opinions, they come off as "aggressive" or overly "critical".... which usually causes people to become defensive.

There is nothing wrong with some of your observations, but you can try toning down your remarks - you'll feel more calm, and others will be more inclined to listen. Change your delivery, to change the reaction.

Regarding school traffic:
1. Instead of complaining to a person, write a letter to the school board, and keep it toned down & reasoned: "I really feel children should not be used as traffic guards because... - signed, Concerned Parent." This way, you also have written evidence.
2. You could also video the children being used as traffic guards as well as the fire lane violations, and then send the video to the relevant Education authorities with a note: "I truly feel these are accidents waiting to happen.... - signed, Concerned Parent."

You are obviously a very concerned mother. Instead of "exploding" your concerns, you can channel your concerns in a way that is less stressful & potentially more effective. If you constantly get emotionally overheated, long-term this is neither good for the problems you wish to change, but also for your own health. Taking the "cool" approach may get better results, and also better health.

If these fail to promote change, you may also have to learn how to accept these situations as they are, and simply be more careful around them. This may sound terrible, but perhaps an accident needs to happen before anything gets changed. Human history & current events are littered with such examples. Or, you can continue your cause, but exploring other ways to solve the problem. For example, you can bring these issues up for discussion at a PTA meeting.

Answer 4

The fastest way to get something done is to talk to the right sources. Since the police are not that interested then
head to the local media. T.V. station, newspaper's
reporters and local radio stations. The town mayor is not
above being sought out nor is the school district's
superintendent. Letters to the editor, standing outside the
school with a sign is also effective. Contact some local
churches and ask them for support. The bottom line is the
more noise you make the quicker you are heard. Just
stay rational and avoid "colorful" words.

Answer 5

Did you contact the school? Have they done anything to help? Most schools in our area have a laison officer at the school so I'm wondering if this particular school may. I would contact Chief of Police or write a written complaint. Would they rather wait until a child is hurt before they act? It doesn't matter if 3:00 is shift change! That is there job and therefore, they need to act and make sure someone is there to do it! Make a log and write down the date and the officer name you spoke to. ALWAYS keep this information in such situations. It can be very useful in the future.

Answer 6

you know that your "honesty and passion" aggravates others. it's good that you do care about what you intend to say to others as you express it. here's what i think:

1. instead of complaining about "stupidity," as you described in your example, show or describe what SHOULD be done. there is nothing more annoying than a person who acts like they know it all, yet they don't contribute any positive ideas. if you think pick up/drop off at your kids' school could be improved, then join the PTA, or even talk to your principal about organizing it a little better. work as a volunteer a couple of days a month, making sure that the kids are safe when they are being picked up and dropped off. this is what we do at our school - parents and faculty help with pick up and drop off. things go pretty smoothly and safely when we all work together.

2. remember: your ego is not important. the next driver's ego is not important. the children's safety is what is important. think of the higher cause, or the greater good. don't be TOO concerned if someone doesn't like what you say. just be sure that you are saying it for the right reasons. be sure that you are speaking from a good place, not just being brash to put other people down.

3. you are taking yourself too seriously. i do this too; that's how i can see it in you. you stated that "all these jokes" surround you. you said, that "everytime" you make a comment, people don't like it. now you know that just isn't true. you need to back up, relax, and lighten up a little bit. you're being dramatic. i think you know it, too.

4. when the man asked you to back out so that he could leave, you stated that when you refused, he cursed you out. the fact that you "refused" says it all. you can still stand your ground ("sure, i can back out as soon as my kids are here.") without being rude ("no, i'm not backing out."). being pregnant is no excuse for being rude. you are a smart woman...you KNOW this.

you need to practice being assertive with your words rather than being in-your-face about it.

the points that you made in your posting are clear, and you are in the right for the most part. you just need to practice some finesse as you actually communicate with people. this is an important skill to model for your CHILDREN.

like i said...it's not all about you. do it for the greater good.

Answer 7

Look, I agree that the world is full of stupid inconsiderate people. A school is responsible for enforcing safety for the students, AS WELL as monitoring parental order in drop off and pick up points where vehicles are coming and going.

It is the SCHOOL personnel that needs to provide rules that ALL parents follow for the sake of safety of the children. Nothing wrong with you going to the principal or even the superintendent until this situation gets resolved. Nothing wrong with you speaking your mind. Who cares if some regard you as a biotch?

Answer 8

Sounds like you have the best of ententions, but maybe the way you express your thoughts stops people from really hearing what you have to say. Try taking a deep breath and "be nice" (whatever that means) and see if you don't get more corporation it's worth a shot. While "being Nice" remember what you a trying to get done, is it to express your anger or get something changed. If you really want to have control of a situation you must look "in control"
Try it and let me know!!! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 9

Maybe you could convince someone at a local TV station to do a story on the school situation.

I'm not suggesting you are a b****, but logically, having good reasons for saying something and being a b**** are not mutually exclusive.

Answer 10

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