Do u think I am wrong?

Question

All of a sudden I started avoiding my friend, she realised it and asked me that did she make any mistake n if she did she said sorry to me for that.

I told her no and then for a while talked with her v nicely. But I am going to avoid her again.
What do u think if she realised it and i'm sure she is going to realise it, no matter what excuse I give her everytime...but she is going to realise it. I dont want to hurt her but I was hurt by her behaviour in the past and just wanted to realise her my importance.
What do u think how she will feel if she realised I'm ignoring her. I used to care a lot for her n she knows it. What do u think she will be hurt my behaviour? How would she react if she gets to know that I'm wantedly doing it? I dont want to lose her friendship... but some people really dont realise what they have till they feel they r loosing it. please help!!

Answer 1

Not "wrong," just rather confused. Look sweetie, when you started avoiding her she ASKED if she'd made a mistake, & if so she was SORRY. If whatever she did bothered you as much as it appears, why did you say no? You could have straightened it out right then & there. Your mistake #1. Then you talk with her "nicely," & then start avoiding her< Mistake #2. She must be totally confused by now! IF you cared about her, she has apologized for something & you basically said she hadn't done anything by your "no." If she "hurt" you, how can she know the extent of it unless you're honest with her? You don't have to lose her friendship, just stop flip-flopping. Think about it. By the way, you put this in the Philosophy section, probably just a mistake...

Answer 2

Well, what is it you want?

If you want to keep her as a friend, then don't shun her.

If she did something hurtful, how is she to know that when you lie to her?

She seems to value your friendship. If you want to keep it, you need to come clean with her.

Of course if you turn from being a friend to acting like a stranger she's going to be hurt. That's why you did it in the first place, right?

So, when she came to you (as others have pointed out), that's when you should have told her what she did wrong. At that point, your strategy for getting her attention, and showing her that she could lose you worked.

She doesn't want to lose you.

So now's the time to tell her what's going on.

If you still really want her friendship.

If not, being pleasant, but always too busy is the kindest thing. Yes, it will hurt, but there's no way to break off a former friendship without hurting the other person.

But if you want to keep her as a friend, them stop messing with her. Tell her. Give her the chance to promise to never do the hurt-full thing again. She can't avoid doing it if she doesn't know what it is.

Answer 3

You're going about this the wrong way. It is true that some people don't know how much they've got until it's gone, but some people also just move on. Ignoring your friend isn't going to make her want to be your friend any more. It's going to make her think, "What a b i t c h," or something similar.
What you're doing is manipulation. You are manipulating her. You're pushing her away even though you want her to be closer. You're making her feel crappy and that's not a nice thing.
If she's done something to you in the past, and you're still hurt by it, you need to talk to her about it. Otherwise she's not going to know what's going on, and will end up being angry at you.
TALK ABOUT IT!!!! And stop manipulating her. It's unfair.

Answer 4

i too think you are behaving in a rather confused and confusing way. and i'm not sure what you expect to happen that has not already happened...

the girl ASKED you if she had done anything wrong, and tried to apologise. she came to you trying to mend your friendship. so you obviously are important to her.

and you turned her down. you told her that she hadn't done anything. so now she must think that you are just ignoring her for no reason...

you can't sort things out in any relationship - friendships or with boyfriends - if you don't say what you feel, don't let the other person know what is on your mind, don't tell them how they have hurt you and how they can make it better.

you need to go talk to her, apologise for ignoring her, and for lying to her when you said nothing was wrong. tell her what she has done to hurt you, that she is very important to you. and take it from there...

Answer 5

What are you talking about? Knowingly avoiding someone causes the other person alot of pain. I know I just went through it with my ex. Her realizing the importance of her past actions is something you may just wanna talk to her about. If you want her GONE then tell her that . People cant read minds and you should stop playing games. Save someone else the heartache I just had to go through. Right now she may see your transparency but is looking past it but eventually she wont ignore it anymore and will ignore you altogether. Are you wrong? Damn right you are! Just talk to her so she can stop wasting her time and you'll stop wasting yours.

Answer 6

Relationships change over time. If you still care about her as you say, you should speak to her and tell her how you feel. If she feels the same way about your friendship you will be able to overcome any problems. If she has hurt you in the past, she will say sorry if she really cares. Good luck x

Answer 7

Yes, you are wrong. You lied to your friend. She did something that bothered you. You should be honest and tell her what it was and why it bothered or hurt you. You are being a manipulator and that is cruel. Sounds like she would be better off without you. With friends like you, she doesn't need enemies. Open and honest is always best.

Answer 8

Yes

Answer 9

think hard and long weather you are really her friend and if she is yours if you do want to be her friend then tell her the truth that stuff she has done in the past has niggled at you and has annoyed and hurt you avoiding situations make them worse if she is truly your mate she will try to understand

Answer 10

my answer is the same as one off your other items:
don't ignore her.. it won't help.. just talk to her .. i mean tell her how she hurt u and then tell her how u felt when she did it.. and then maybe she'll realise everything and then let's see what happens... :)