2007-03-04 05:36:51 · 31 answers · asked by jaejoshkyla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they have known each other for a long time and they said they still have feelings for each other and they never dated or had sex so whats up with that
2007-03-04 05:51:16 · update #1
he left for basic traing on monday and i found them sunday night i have no closure we also have 3 kids
2007-03-04 06:05:11 · update #2
was not snooping on him we dont hide our passwords from one another, he says it was innocent and was not trying to hide it from me well then why didnt he himself tell me
2007-03-04 06:30:15 · update #3
A lot depends on if he's cheating with her or just flirting and if he is a cheater from before this. If he's a cheater you have to decide if you can put up with that - I'd say no, it's not worth it. If this is just flirting it may be OK but if it's actual cheating then you have to decide if you want to try to save the marriage.
Ask him about her, who she is and how he knows her. If he lies then tell him you know about the emails. Don't let him change the subject to how dare you snoop on his privacy etc. just let him talk but keep asking what does he do with her etc. and if it's not innocent decide if you want to try to save the marriage.
If you want to try to save it, then go to counseling with a marriage counselor or your priest, rabbi, minister or whatever if you have one. If you don't think it's worth saving then prepare for divorce. This is a very tough situation and I hope it works out OK.
2007-03-04 05:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by Mike H 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if you and your husband share an email account (which I doubt since you would've probably found them sooner), which means you probably had to "break in" to his email. Understandable if you are having doubts but still a breach of his privacy.
If you feel like you need to confront him, you need to sit back and think what it was that initially made you feel suspicious. If you go in there waving emails around he's only going to be defensive and lock on the fact that you violated his privacy. The original issue - his potentially inappropriate dealings with this woman - will get lost.
It sounds (from the small bit of info you provided) like he may have been having an emotional affair with this woman. Has your marriage been suffering from a lack of communication lately? Have you or he been under a lot of stress? These are all things to consider when/if you decide to confront him.
2007-03-04 14:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by efansnet 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1) Confront him.
2) Tell him to stop.
3) Put a key logger on the computer.
4) Wait to see if he does it again and if he does go to step 5.
5) Confront him and go to counseling.
6) Repeat steps 3 and 4 again and if no resolution go to step 7.
7) Kick him to the curb and find you somebody that is willing to do the right thing.
2007-03-04 14:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would first disconnect his computer! Have a nice long talk with him. What kind of communication is going on and why. What are his feelings for you...and why would he have that rapore with a stranger? Is there anything going on outside the house? There are alot of issues to discuss with him...it's cheating reguardless of it being online or not. Good Luck
2007-03-04 13:47:07 · answer #4 · answered by poodlemama1965 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he can email this person he may soon or already have been in contact with this person. This is borderline cheating. Really. Did you say anything to him? That's your husband! Why are you asking a bunch or strangers about this? Ask him what the hell is going on and email her too while you're at it.
2007-03-04 13:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by Camden 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
if i was u i would keep a guard up maybe your husbands has no hiding meaning but the other woman i would watch your back because she could have hidden meaning. i would tell your husband not to email her if he loves u because u dont trust the woman
2007-03-04 14:03:20 · answer #6 · answered by crystal w 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is when it is time for you and your husband to sit down and HONESTLY communicate about what is lacking in your marriage, what BOTH of you can do to get back on track. If this has hurt you, tell him so, but try not to let it descend into pointless argument and accusation.
Good luck......
2007-03-04 13:42:15 · answer #7 · answered by JooniMoon 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Find out where she lives first.. if she lives in another country or at least a few states away then I would just ask him about it.. but if she lives nearer I would try and get some more info before asking him. Like how many emails, pictures.. etc.. are they calling each other.. etc..
2007-03-04 13:40:41 · answer #8 · answered by Sorcha 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Say to him that you found it by accident and you don't feel ok with it. Ask him how would he feel if you would have something similar with some other guy. If he wouldn't mind, your marriage is over. If he wouldn't feel comfortable, ask of him to stop it and try to save your marriage.
2007-03-04 13:56:48 · answer #9 · answered by timekiller unlimited 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it and find out why. You have to be level headed if you want it to work. If you respond irrationally and like a mad woman then he will close down and nothing will be resolved. Talk through it and work it out if he's sorry and doesn't do it anymore work it out.
2007-03-04 13:41:06 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋