My wife is bi, and I have a girlfriend on the side that she's ok with. My friend and I want to have a threesome and my wife and I have done this on three different occassions. Some of our friends know about our lifestyle and some of them don't get it. It's not hurting our relationship at all, but, brought us closer in some ways. Is this a healthy relationship or should this lifestyle come to an end?
2007-03-04 05:25:17 · 20 answers · asked by Skubie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Threesomes are generally a bad idea but sometimes if both in a relationship understand the others feelings and understand that the sexual part of marriage is enhanced with the third party then if it works for you nothing wrong with it. Now there is the third person to consider. She is just a side kick and not really part of the family. If she doesn't understand her relationship to this party then this could start a problem too. Be very careful in what you say to each of them. As individuals have different feelings and each one is not considered then that is where the problems can arise. Be sure everyone is honest and forthright with your affair and your threesomes. If it concerns you then you need to stop. If you all agree then love on.
2007-03-04 05:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
If it's working for you two, then it's healthy for your relationship. You can't live your relationship and life the way others would like you to. It's your life, not theirs. But there will be many that will tell you "no, don't do it" or "you and your wife are sick" and many other negative things. Most have no idea what they are talking about, simply stating their opinion based on their own insecurities, fears, and biases.
Again, if it works for you, then great. It may not work for someone else, and for them, they should do it. But they should also not expect you to be just like them because you are not them.
Check-out The Swingers Board for better discussions about this. I don't think you'll get the objective answers you're looking for here.
2007-03-04 23:10:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The both of you somehow feel that you need extra partners in your relationship because you both feel that you cannot completely give what the other wants.
Your both expressing to one another that neither of you can completely satisfy the other.
Which is pretty hurtful really. But, the both of you care for one another in a strong way, and to smother out the pain of it, you both cover it up by giving permission to each other to go out into the world and find what you need to take care of what the other cannot provide.
Many people are open minded people and have fantasies.
But there are boundaries in relationships.
Being open minded does not protect you from things going terribly wrong, and having the outsider break up your marriage.
Not intentional, but because people have all kinds of feelings. And nothing is every clear cut in ones thinking.
2007-03-04 14:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by sweetcitywoman2002 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is unhealthy. If she's bi and you have a girlfriend on the side, then what was the point of you and her getting married in the first place. If both of you are okay with it then technically it is okay. But the whole threesome thing doesn't make sense to me, especially when you're married. In my opinion swinging or threesomes are just a "legal" way for married people to cheat. I mean it's not against the law to cheat, but I think you get the gist of what I am saying.
2007-03-04 13:39:32 · answer #4 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
What is your definition of a wife? If you didn't want to be monogamous, why did you get married? No this is not healthy for married people, it's not even "healthy" for singles! If you both want to play around then you should just get a Divorce and find some more perverted people to hang around with, I'm sure this isn't the answer you were hoping for!
2007-03-04 13:34:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
If it makes you both happy then there is nothing wrong with it. Always put your wife first above anyone and anything and side relationships should never cause a problem.
People tend to disapprove because they can't understand it and because they might envy your relationship. Don't pay them any mind.
The truth is that if you and your wife are able to sustain a relationship that is open to others, your bond will be closer and you relationship will be stronger than those that cannot understand.
2007-03-04 13:30:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anne 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I personally think that this lifestyle should come to an end. I think its wrong to have more than one person you love, and loving one extra person in a marriage can break down the marriage. It could end in a divorce for you.
2007-03-04 13:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by Em 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I have no real experience in this, but it's working for you guys, so as long as you are comfortable with it, then don't let what other people say bother you. It would be only your decision of when to end it, or even if you ever want to end it.
2007-03-04 13:33:56 · answer #8 · answered by Coldfalls 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If this makes the two of you happy. Or 3 Up to you. There are probly lots of other things they have issues with too but that's ok also.
2007-03-04 13:58:34 · answer #9 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
if you are both happy with it - more power to you. There are spiritual ramifications. If you aren't worried about that then go for it. I don't know why you would ask the question if you are both so happy. There must be more going on here than you are letting us in on.
If you were wanting a relationship with God this activity would have to change. to morally convicting.
2007-03-04 14:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by momof2 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋