How can I stop myself calling him?

Question

just split from my husband, love him so much, but it wasn't working. Want to stop myself calling him and getting back together because that's what I always do and I really need to move on from this and start again. Please help me!

Answer 1

Counseling. New hobbies. Move away. Go to church. Work out. Anything but call him.

Answer 2

Very hard when you have lived with someone for a while. You get used to them being there and when they are not it can be very hard to accept the fact and also very lonely.

You must try and think this through logically, as you said it was not working so presumably you both came to an amicable descision to split. Well do just that leave him alone and move on....you do not want to get into a situation where he starts to hate you because you are becoming a nuisance. So get out there and get a hobby or something to take your mind off of him.

If you can get a hobby that takes you out in the evening so that you are not home alone and dwelling on the past. So much the better.

It will require a great deal of strength for you to come through all of this trauma but you know that you have to cut the ties. It does not mean that you cannot be friends does it.

Move onwards and upwards.


All the best and spring and the light evenings will soon be here and you will start to see things in a different light.

Answer 3

Find something to do with your time...plain and simple.
1. Take a class or two at a local college
2. enroll in a class with the park district or rec center
3. call your friends and go for coffee-coffee places often have book discussions
4. get involved in a local Relay for Life team with the American cancer society (they really need good people!)
5. Start an exercises routine (walk when you are most vulnerable to calling him) Exercise always makes us feel good about ourselves
6. see if there is a Big Sister program so you can mentor a young girl

I know it's hard, but taking the first step is the hardest. Once you get going, you will be sooooo glad you didn't cave into temptation!

Changing numbers or blocking outgoing call is very unrealistic. Exercise some self control and keep busy at times when you are most susceptible to calling him

Answer 4

Well, only you can take that step. There are no magic words to make it easier. I suggest you take some time to yourself (for yourself) to figure out what you want with your life and in an intimate relationship. Think about what you believe to be absolutely necessary and absolutely not allowable in a relationship, like trust and honesty, patience, mutual effort, mutual contentment, mutual respect, etc... are some things I think are necessary, and cheating, lying, yelling, name calling, violence, "gray areas" are some things I find not allowable. This is all about you and your own happiness with your own life. Acknowledge that the reason you want to call may be because he is who you are familiar with and there is some comfort in familiarity, even if the situation hurts. Also acknowledge that it may hurt you to hurt him by leaving but that doesn't mean you should get back together. He'll live without you and you can live without him. You just have to make up your mind and stick with it. Promise yourself enough time away without his distractions to let your thoughts clear and gain your focus. It wont always hurt like it does now. Good luck.

Answer 5

I think you have a much better shot at getting back with this guy if you switch of the phone, and pretend that he will call you "tomorrow". If he wants to speak to you, he knows where to find you. And when you stop calling, it will no doubt make him think about what is going on. When he is no longer in charge of your thoughts, you will discover that there is a afterlife after all. And you are so worth it.!! Good luck to you. From Norway

Answer 6

Here's the deal I made with myself... I wrote a journal of all the bad things over the years that he had done to me, and I had done to myself to stay inthe marriage. I made a deal with myself that everytime I wanted to call him, I forced myself to read the whole journal. At the end, if I still wanted to call, I deserved the misery of the phone call! It worked, and I kept it with the divorce papers (I finalized the divorce) to remind myself if as time goes by, I make the past more romantic than it really was. Good luck with everything

Answer 7

How can i grant up calling myself grotesque the place ever i flow and the place i'm at because of fact its making use of me loopy and that i think like i'm going to be calling myself that for the the remainder of my existence I even do it on facebook and pals save telling me i'm not grotesque yet i don't be attentive to a thank you to actual save it in my head that i'm not grotesque its so difficult I even feels that no-one likes me even tho people tell me i'm appealing and that i'm warm yet I nonetheless be calling myself grotesque and that i'm beginning up to think of i choose some scientific help or something what's it i could desire to do to do away with this nonsense??

Answer 8

Sometimes people don't appreciate what they have and want what they can't have. He knows he can have you back so he's not feeling compelled to work for you.
Keep telling yourself that if he wanted you, he'd be making the moves.
Appreciate who you are. Try not to become a pest because as we all know, they can be irritating. That's no way to get him back.
It's hard to have such a huge change in your life. But if your marriage was bad enough for you to break up and you feel you did everything possible to make it work, try to look forward to a new, less painful life without him. Good luck on your new beginning.

Answer 9

Then vow in your heart to not pick up the phone and call him anymoer. Seek counseling and help to start to get past this. Why are you divorcing to begin with if i may ask? Have you both tried marriage counseling yet? What has happened to bring your marriage to this point if i may ask? Make new friends and take up a new hobby and keep yourself occupied. Good luck to you. I also suggest you visit http://www.drphil.com and email him for help in this matter as well. He may have some words of great advice for you .

Answer 10

Remind yourself of why you want out and just don't pick up the phone and if you do, call someone else and keep yourself busy. Also, now would be a good time to start an exercise program and get working on YOU. Good luck and take care.

Answer 11

Distract yourself - do ANYTHING. Even if it's short term. You'll be suprised how well it works. Go to the mall. Sew a button on something. Mop the floors. Little by little, day by day, it'll get easier.

Oh - also, play in your mind how the conversation and end result will go if you do call him. I'm sure you know how it'll go. Just focus on yourself and your health right now - it's a GREAT investment!!