It's quite bitter and my friend is almost suicidal. Lawyers costs are increasing dramatically. I was surprised to hear though, that her ex refuses to tell her where he takes the children away for the weekend. Apparently it is none of her business. Can this be right? Surely he has an obligation to tell her? She's worried sick as she doesn't know where her children are.
2007-03-04 03:48:53 · 11 answers · asked by True Blue Brit 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's been a couple of comments that I should respond to. Yes, she does tell him where she's taking them. Her state of mind is due to the fact that he plays this kind of mind games with her. Actually, she's being much more patient and fair than I would be. She desperately wants her children to have a relationship with their father, so bites her tongue. He disappeared from their lives for about 6 months and has suddenly returned.
There is no "control" issue, other than a need to know where her children are. My husband doesn't take my children anywhere without my knowledge and I tell him where I'm taking our children. It is simple courtesy and politeness.
2007-03-04 05:29:48 · update #1
She is afraid for their safety - not because she feels he will harm them, but simple car accidents, illnesses, etc and a normal mother's anxiety. That's it. Nothing sinister about it.
2007-03-04 05:31:12 · update #2
He knows where his kids are! In the former marital home.
2007-03-04 06:18:12 · update #3
I think that somebody BOTH people trust should sit them down and talk to them about basic common sense. If they're purposely doing things to try and stick it to the other, using their children as weapons, and purposely being unreasonable for the sake of being unreasonable, then all of this needs to STOP! Deep down I know they're both hurt. Deep down I know that neither probably wanted things to end this way. But an ex husband purposely not telling the mother of his children where her babies are for 2-3 days is just plain cruel. And I would suspect this is borderline criminal.
2007-03-04 03:55:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it's his time with the children and unless he is taking them out of the state for the weekend, there is nothing she can do. Why is she so afraid? Does she feel he will harm them?The most important thing is that she not question the kids. Leave them out of it. If she can't get answers from her ex- have her talk to her lawyer or hire a private investigator. If she starts getting too paranoid though, it won't look good for her. If the children come back happy and healthy, she needs to relax.
2007-03-04 04:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should have temperary custody of the children while the divorce is in the process. She needs to see a lawyer, a lawyer is suppose to protect her of this. If I were her, I would take my kids and go to a friends or parent's home that has a man in it. She will need the emotional support. It also seems that she could file for a restraining order if she explained this problem to a judge.
Find out the whole story. So Sorry your friend is going through this.
2007-03-04 03:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by Time4Tivo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a lot of drama here, but one thing that's legally wrong is that the splitting parents are REQUIRED to allow the other to communicate with the children. If he's going to some lady's house he's trying to hook up with and he's taking the kids with him, he's still probably bound by his pending divorce contract to say where they are when you call.
Also, divorce law usually states the kids can't cross state lines without your permission, if that's happening.
2007-03-04 03:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't HAVE to know where he takes the kids as long as it isn't hurting the children. Car accidents happen on a daily basis. By HER logic her ex should have HER supervised because she could be taking them to school and they COULD get into a car accident and the ex wouldn't know where they were. He is under no obligation to tell her where they go...no doubt the kids tell her anyway. I never badgered my ex about where he took our daughter on his visitations, I heard all about it when she got home. I doubt very much your "friend's" worry is about not knowing where her children are...sounds pretty much to me as if she is trying to control his visitations with his kids...she doesn't get to do that.
2007-03-04 10:38:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He does not have to give her an account of where he is taking the kids when it's his time with them. His only obligation is to the kids, and to support and nurture them. Divorce is between the adults, the kids are innocent victims. Does she report to him where she takes the kids when she has them? I think not...
If she is almost suicidal, she needs to get counseling, that would also help her deal with her control issues with her ex.
2007-03-04 03:57:11 · answer #6 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She will need a lawyer or something like this or he will continue to get away with it if she does not stand up for herself and her kids and start to fight him on this. Suicide is not the answer for your friend here. They need to go back to court and settle this once and for all.
2007-03-04 03:57:24 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if it's her business. She can get through it. I did. She just needs to ask her lawyer about this.
2007-03-04 03:53:12 · answer #8 · answered by Brown-eyed girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he odes have a right to to her and he shud tell her its also her kids too rite? tell her not to worry everythin will be fine
2007-03-04 03:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she tell him where she takes them?
They are his as well.
2007-03-04 04:01:14 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋