My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years and we do have normal early marriage problems like everyone. But one hurdle I cannot get over is his family and friends. I understood when I married him, he was very close to them, but now they do not know any boundries and I cannot take it any more. They call and drop by in the middle of the night. They drop thier kids off to stay with us and he doesn't consult me before letting people spend the night. Our(my) biggest problem is the drunk cousin that causes a wreck when he smells liquor. The police have been called by neighbors because he refuses to leave our home or the parking lot of our home. I have spoke to my husband about my issues and my answers are always, "I am an adult and I don't need rules in my home," or "Why are you always picking at my family? I don't do that with yours." If he won't change, what are my options?
2007-03-04 03:46:24 · 8 answers · asked by unhappy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He doesn't seem to care about your feelings or needs. If you can somehow bring him into counseling with him that would be good. If you can't do that, I would say get out.
2007-03-04 03:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by Brown-eyed girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miss Unhappy, you are caught on this web that your husband thinks that its ok to have his families around because it his families. I know that you already said that you've talked to him already,and yet he ignores you and made you feel guilty. Talk to him again and tell him that when you married him,you didn't marry his family as well, and tell him that if he will not consider your feelings, your sanity,it will end up in so much drama that you hate to have.
Next time his drunk cousin stop be, try and call the cop and tell them that this drunk is in your place again and you want him out before he started making troubles to anyone. Don't let your husband manipulate you in any way, your not doing anything wrong except you want to have a peace of mind and live peacefully and happy in your own home. Tell him if he loves you,his family will not come between the two of you.
If this doesn't work, go home to your parents till your husband realize that his families will not make him happy. Be strong and don't let them run your life,you don't deserve this heavy drama in your life.......life is very short love and you must realize that now.....good luck.................if you want contact me so we can talk, I'll be here....
2007-03-04 04:21:21 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an adult and I don't need rules in my home," uh oh, it's not his home is YOUR home, both of you. I gusee this is really a red flag for you.
Listen, sweetie, a man who really loves you will always put his wife andher well being first. I'm not talking about him chosing you over his family, but he should have set rules as for what is allowed, what is normal and what kind of tolerance is expected from you. Plus, he should have talked things over with you already, i guess what i'm trying to say is that he really is being selfish, rude and inconsiderate to you. Sometimes we get married for reasons that we don't even know about till we open our eyes one day and see that it was not exactly love or trust and respect.
Give him an ultimatum and give him your point of view, if he agrees on working things out, excellent, if not, show him the door.
2007-03-04 03:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start telling them yourself to not come by it is late or they need to take thier kids back home that you do not fl like this tonight. If he does not care enough to look out for this part of your felings then it may not get any better. Do you want to keep on being unhappy? Everyone has rules. Just some are not spoken. Others people need to be told if do not get the hints.
2007-03-04 04:42:13 · answer #4 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is being selfish. Call the police yourself next time he doesn't listen. Make it clear your boundaries are crossed. If it leads to a separation or divorce, at least you got the problem out there. you can't live that way. That cousin is a bum and your husband has no respect if he's not listening to you.
2007-03-04 03:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't reproduce with him. Don't bring kids into this environment.
Second, I find it hard to believe that this has all happened since you got married. You had no idea his family was like this?
Third, if you have no kids and can't stand your environment: leave. Very simple.
2007-03-04 03:51:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is to Short,nobody should have to live like that.Move on down the road of a Good Life.
2007-03-04 04:45:11 · answer #7 · answered by Goodfellar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had problems with in-laws of a similar type and we ended up divorced. The in-laws didn't seem to care what type of problems they caused and didn't care about our marriage. Sorry this is happening, take care and Good luck.
2007-03-04 04:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋