how to unspoil a spoiled 9 month old?

Question

our child is spoiled, he cries when he isn't held, won't sleep through the night, and cries when he wakes up alone. how can we reverse this?

Answer 1

Your baby is NOT spoiled. He is acting like a baby should!!! Try paying attention to him and giving him positive reinforcement when you catch him being good and playing by himself. Most babies don't sleep through the night at this age, and it is NORMAL. Try co-sleeping. Everyone will get better sleep, as this is what babies are HARDWIRED to do. If he wakes up alone, can you blame him for crying??? You don't need to reverse anything. your baby is NOT SPOILED!! Sheesh.

Answer 2

You can't really spoil a 9 month old baby!!
He cries for a need, in this case he is scared and insecure.
He may very well be experiencing seperation anxiety, which is a genuine phenomena. Just cuddle him and know that this phase will pass, usually by the time they are about 18 months old.
Not all children go through this, but many do.
Some children take a long time to sleep through the night, 9 months is not unusual at all. Out of my 4 children, only 1 slept through the night at that age. My second woke 4 hourly until she was 18 months, and then once a night until 2 1/2. Some children are simply more sensitive and anxious than others.
Does he go to sleep outside his room and then gets placed into his cot asleep? That often makes babies cry, because they are confused and scared when they wake up in a different place, alone. Try putting him to sleep awake, in his cot. Then walk out and return every few min to reassure him until he is asleep. That way he won't be surprised by his surroundings when he wakes up.
Otherwise, you could put his cot into your room for a while, this way he will be settled when he wakes as he can hear your breathing, and you can get some sleep. Everybody wins. There is no 'you must do this' when it comes to parenting babies, you do what works best for you and baby. There aren't many teenagers that sleep in their parents room..
They grow up so fast, just enjoy this time you have with him. Cuddle him and reassure him, he will settle when he's ready.

Answer 3

Well, there's a difference between "spoiled" and "bad habits". I believe "spoiled" is an attitude, which your child is too young to display. However, a "spoiled" attitude in an older child is the RESULT of bad habits allowed by the parents, so you are on a bad track with your baby's bad habits. As the parent you have to help him break them.

The only way is to let him cry. During the day, you can start by putting him down, crying or not, for five minutes at a time several times a day. Set a timer, even. Make sure he has some toys and is in a safe comfortable place. Leave the room. FEel free to pick him up when the timer goes off. When he gets used to spending five minutes alone, up it to 10 minutes. Etc ETc Etc.

AT night you just have to let him cry it out. Put him to bed --full tummy, clean diaper, white noise, nightlight, short bedtime routine--then leave the room, close the door, and DON'T GO BACK TILL MORNING. No matter how long he cries. It is the only way. Any other response by you is just reinforcing the behavior you want to stop. He must not get attention of any kind for the nighttime crying. It will stop--in 3 days, maybe up to a week, but he WILL get it and he will learn to sleep through the night and you'll all be happier for it (after a week of hell).

Answer 4

I'm obviously in the minority here, but I do not think a baby needs to be held the majority of the day. Our son is just turned 7 months old and he has been crawling for 2 1/2 months now. He spends the vast majority of his day on the floor and I would say we hold him perhaps a total of an hour a day (feeding him, reading together, singing songs, cuddle time).

I don't think many parents realize this, but crawling actually grows the midbrain area of the brain and is important for reading later on. Crawling helps the baby learn to realize depth perception, thus helping the baby to focus on objects. The more babies crawl, the more they develop this area of the brain. My son crawls more than 400 yards (4 football fields) a day - when it's time to change his diaper I'll crawl down the hallway and he'll follow me and we'll change his diaper and crawl back. And he's excellent at getting around!

Now, that being said, I do not LEAVE my child on the floor all day - I'm there with him. Try putting him down for a few minutes at a time and sitting beside him while reading a chapter book. He should be able to stay out of your arms for longer and longer periods of time (but you might have to deal with some crawling in the beginning). Don't abandon him, but do give him the opportunity to explore his environment while you're nearby and able to be seen.

I know the other posters want to tell you it's normal, but a 9 month old really should be able to play by himself for a few minutes at a time while you check your email or brush your teeth. You deserve it, and so does he so he can learn to do all the things that babies CAN'T do in your arms!!

It sounds like you truly want what is best for him!

Answer 5

A baby that young cannot be spoiled. Babies need to be held and comforted and loved. Some day he will be a teenager and push you away when you try to hug him. Enjoy these days of cuddling. I hold my baby all the time, there is nothing wrong with that.

Answer 6

Ditto to those who have said your baby is NOT spoiled! It's normal for babies to act this way and it's even necessary.

If babies could take care of themselves, they wouldn't need parents.

Answer 7

i don't know, i'm still trying to figure out how to unspoil a 4 year old. and now i have a spoiled 3 month old. (sigh).

Answer 8

quit spoiling him. simple as that. you will suffer for a while but that is the price of spoiling. if you let it go longer you will surely regret it.

Answer 9

put headphones on so you don't hear it