I am a 28 yr-old married woman. i used to have many friends before marriage, 2 yrs ago. but after that I lost my single friends. I haven't been able to make new friends for 2 years now.
I have so many trouble in my marriage, that can't be solved right now, so whenever I have the opportunity of meeitng a potential friend, I tend to open up more than necessary, and either me or them would avoid the next metting, because i feel embarrassed why i opened up, and they feel embarrassed of how much trouble I have that they may not be able to do anything about it. Specially this happens when I meet someone for the first time. Today a very beloved woman is coming to my house, and i am worried to lose her too. Can you suggest what I can say today so that I make friend with this girl and not open up my troubles?
2007-03-04 02:19:17 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont talk much about your trouble, talk about other things. There's so many things you can talk about. Like what is her interests, hobby, where she often does. Forget about the troubles and feel the pleasure of life, even just for this time
2007-03-04 02:23:43 · answer #1 · answered by Yej 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're concerned that this friend won't want to hear about your problems (although since you describe her as "very beloved" she may be willling to listen) I suggest you strongly make an effort to keep the conversation light, or at most briefly mention the issue and then move on. It sounds to me like maybe you should join a support group or see a counselor so you can get all these issues off of your chest without worrying that you are burdening another person. I think that might help you to be emotionally lighter when speaking to other people.
2007-03-04 10:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a normal thing to do when you meet new people, to open up. It's okay to get embarrassed, and it's good to be yourself.
I think your mind is kind of playing tricks on you, revealing to you all these negative consequences that may happen, even if it hasn't.
Relax - you're in the same dimension as anybody else is. Time is not lightning. Be yourself - every single person and or thing in this world is unique. Be confident - confidence shows your understanding of "my life is my decision," and this, most of the time - if not all of the time, leads to deep peace and immense happiness. Enjoy life as time flies by. ;)
I think you must first consider learning to fully accept yourself, because if you don't it's hard for others to rely on you, or anybody else to truly admire or accept you.
Keep in mind that a little is okay, a bit more is better, but too much is scary. :P
If you think you scare people by opening up, you have to ask yourself - is this person really worth the trust, am I showering out too many personal details, or am I scared to show my true feelings?
Patience is key. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Don't be afraid to try! Regret is worse than fear. :P
~ Christy
2007-03-04 10:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by Nightwolf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you really need to get to know this person before you befriend her, because you shouldn't go making friends with just anyone. Friendship is serious business, and you should really find out if a friendship with this person is worth the time and effort you'll have to put into it. But if you decide you want to be friends with her, just be yourself. And try not to say anything to her that's hard to answer to, or rhetorical. Good luck! :-)
2007-03-04 10:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not pour out your troubles and problems instantly when you find a friend. try to get to know each other and be at ease until the time comes when both of you share secrets, laughter, pain, sorrows...friends are there when they feel you've got what it takes to be a friend, a neighbor, a sister, a confidant, or a mom...
all of us have problems in life and we seek people whom we can relate and speak out and thereby understand us and that takes time to really find a true friend...start with: "how's your day?" and everything will follow...casual talks...nothing too personal yet...
2007-03-04 10:29:01 · answer #5 · answered by curiosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, control your mouth. Think about what you say before you say it. Ask them about how they are first. If they open up a lot to you, you can tell them a lot about yourself too. If they're more shy, don't push it. Slowly you'll be able to tell them more about yourself over time.
2007-03-04 10:23:13 · answer #6 · answered by Swini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about current events. The lunar eclipes would be a good topic, I mean it did happen last night.
2007-03-04 10:22:38 · answer #7 · answered by TEFMLB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just be yourself, and maybe go to places like the gym that other people might like hanging around.
2007-03-04 10:41:38 · answer #8 · answered by thatgirlkiana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait to u get to know her more then talk to her about ur troubles cuz it's overwhelming if u get a new friend that needs help with ur troubles but u don't know her as well...so u don't know how u can help her...
2007-03-04 10:22:57 · answer #9 · answered by Hillary W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just talk about neutral things and avoid talking about YOUR problems.....most people have troubles of their own and dont want to hear about others......just have a good time being with a friend.......good luck.....
2007-03-04 10:23:17 · answer #10 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋