PLEASE DON’T FORGET ME
How much longer is it? Can we sustain our ways?
Everyone keeps drifting, we’re moving on day by day.
The sunset breaks the horizon; the golden yolk has spelt,
Every strand I reach out, falls, and nothing seems to help.
Each day goes on-- we hide the pain with bliss,
These moments that were wasted, are the ones we’ll truly miss.
Every night before bedtime, I navigate the stars,
I hope that you’ll be looking up too, in that place wherever you are,
This sadness of mine goes unrivaled, yet it’s something we both share,
The twisted hands of fate find the true feelings that lie there.
I’ll remember this day clearly, forever and for-on,
The brown loading truck that took you, forever you were gone,
2007-03-04 01:49:51 · 10 answers · asked by SarangHaeyo 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It’s not as bad as I will word it; you’re always close in touch,
I look out towards the highway when the pain becomes too much.
The same highway that took you away, somewhere a thousand miles,
The same one I have to walk by everyday, memories from back awhile.
Every week you send letters, even though we’re so far apart,
We’ll both make new friends, but you’ll still have that place in my heart,
Even though it hurts so much, as happy as you may be,
Open a new door, but please, DON’T FORGET ME.
2007-03-04 01:50:14 · update #1
Oh my gosh, This is not only beautiful, but I can feel your pain as I read this. Send this in somewhere and see if it could be published. You did a fantastic job. 5 thumbs up!
2007-03-04 01:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understood very properly, Bri. it fairly is not your variety of writing. even nevertheless, it rather is extremely properly-written, and could properly be examine and enjoyed genuinely. the flamboyant language is extremely good; basically a splash over the real. There are some punctuation and spacing blunders (till meant) that could desire to be fastened. Bri, you're a good pal to try this for somebody else. It shows a bargain approximately your character, being a chum and explaining, etc. you have no longer any apologies to make; be the brave guy you're, and shop going. it rather is a superb examine, so why could desire to absolutely everyone whinge?
2016-09-30 04:38:15 · answer #2 · answered by philibert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness! Your poem is wonderful. 5 STARS!!! Are you sure you didn't copy it from somewhere? Ha ha Just kidding. I think it is great. You should really get it published. I wish I could write as good as you!! Well, good luck!
2007-03-04 01:55:42 · answer #3 · answered by IloveJesus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly love it....but, the word spilled instead of spelt....ok? other than a little spelling here and there, it is wonderful....copywrite it so no-one can use it, then send it in to poetry.com.....good luck....you may get published......
2007-03-04 01:59:22 · answer #4 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. It really makes you think about things. I will give you allot of credit because you know that true poetry comes from the heart. Please don't loose that quality.
2007-03-04 01:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to come straight from your heart, that's what I really like about it!
2007-03-04 02:01:19 · answer #6 · answered by Joshua 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i liked it ALOT!but the only thing was the word "bedtime" mabe use a diff. word 4 it.
2007-03-04 01:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was pretty good.
2007-03-04 01:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by ħ Ì Wêår M¥ Mê?ål Må§k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please publish it so one day I can say I once knew you.
2007-03-04 01:58:05 · answer #9 · answered by Baw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's so sad...
2007-03-04 01:56:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋