At the beginning of our relationship she used to dream about having sex with me(I was a virgin) and she seemed turned on by the fact that I was a little bigger down there. She has had sex with a lot of guys before me, so I know she used to like having it.
Lately however she just makes me feel bad for even wanting it. Everytime I ask for it she always says "Later" and when later comes, and I think she's forgotten about it(I try to be patient) I ask, and then she gets upset and then comes out with the "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about that." I just don't understand...
I as ok with her having a lot of sexual partners before me, even though at first when she told me It was kind of a shock, I still remembered why I loved her. She also pulls the "there are more important things than sex" card. Even though we both work, I go to school and we both spend time with our families and are preparing for a wedding.
Just recently she said "Well maybe we shouldn't have had sex to begin
2007-03-04 01:28:57 · 17 answers · asked by Jim 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
with" That made me feel bad, because she took my virginity before we got engaged. Now that we're engaged it seems like her sex drive is at an all time low. Now she says she's uncomfortable with her body, and that it is not me. I just don't get it...
I tell her she is beautiful, and then I get a reply to the effect of ,"Thats nice". We do things with our families, and I do anything and everything she asks me to do for her. All I ask for sometimes might be for me to go down on her (which she likes, or used to.) to which she replies, "No"...Someone help me here, whats really going on?
How come now that I've been engaged to this woman it seems like she's unattracted to me, or that to have sex I have to literally pull it out of her.
2007-03-04 01:34:05 · update #1
It sounds like maybe she regrets that she is not going to be a virgin for her wedding day. Maybe you should try letting her make the move on you instead of you asking her to have sex. A lot of guys say, well if I wait on her it is definitely not going to happen. I believe differently. You cant just wait. Maybe she is into the whole romance thing, what woman isnt. Write her little love notes, tell her you love all the time, hug her just to hug her, leave a rose for her, candelight dinner just because. These things make women want to have sex, trust me. It is worth a try, plus she deserves...this is your fiance. Show her why she is marrying you in the first place.
If for some reason this does not work, you should have a talk with her about whether there is something going on with her. I would ask her if there is something that you did first because then she will be more willing to talk openly with you if she thinks that you think that you did something wrong as opposed to you bringing up this conversation just because you are horny.
I hope everything works out....Good Luck!
2007-03-04 01:41:02 · answer #1 · answered by msnothinbutalady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, there buddy. If she has been with other guys and now she doesn't want it from you then have you ever thought that maybe she is getting it somewhere else. :( That's not the worst of it. If your a virgin now and she is the only woman you have been with then in time you will and I say WILL grow jealous of the fact that she has been with other men. I'm saying this from experience. My wife was a virgin when we got married and now here we are 14 yrs later and she regrets not having other relationships now. If I were you, I either stop the wedding or a less slow it down / push it back. Your talking about the REST OF YOUR LIFE here buddy. The both of you MUST be 100% sure that this is what you really want. So, get with here and let her know NOW! Ask her what is going on? I'm serious here buddy, I hate to see a good guy get hurt. Because I mean this when I say this your first heart break is will be devastating. You will never get over it but will be able to move on in time. So act quick here buddy. God Bless you. I know what your going through.
2007-03-04 02:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by SA41TX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she has some sexual hang ups.More often the not women who sleep with many men are not doing it because they like sex.but are doing it to feel loved and accepted....My advice is to give her uncondtional love and leet her know that sex is not what it is all about but that it is a way for you to express to her how deeply you love her......if she doesnt come around after that (and be patient like you have been) then you have to consider that 1) she needs a sex therapist or 2) she is cheating on you with somebody else.... I would not jump to conclusions and say she is cheating on you this fast though..there are plenty of other reasons why women lose their sex drive.is she taking the birth control pill? This will reduce sex drive in a big way....So get her off the pill if this is the case and use some other form of birth control.....Stress will reduce sex drive as well in women and planning a wedding is a huge stressful thing.....Been there done that! Get her talking about the honeymoon and romantic things like that......and Oh I am a travel agent who specializes in honeymoons and destination weddings so if you need help with honeymoon plans email me...I can take some of that load off of her in the wedding planning department....good luck I hope all turns out well and you get some much needed nooky!
2007-03-04 01:38:29 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump her she obviously doesn't want anything to do wit you so stop being at her feet all the time.Us women are odd minded. Or you should try ignoring her for a while to get her thinking. The only reason she's still there is b/c she feels obligated b/c she took your virginity in the first place and now that that's done she has no interest there's no reason for you to be treated like crap so tell her to act right or get out of the relationship asaps before she has the chance to cheat on you if she hasen't already
2007-03-04 04:07:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a very serious problem. One doesn't normally go from loving sex with their partner to outright rejection of it. I think you need to seriously consider having a pow wow with her. Sit her down, get to the root of the problem. Maybe she has become bored with the sex? Maybe you need to change it up a bit in the bedroom and other areas of the house and elsewhere? If these things are not the problem, I hate to say it but her actions point to a possibility that she is getting her sexual gratification and satisfaction elsewhere. You need to straighten this out before you get married! Obviously this hurts your feelings, and you don't want to be married to someone who won't open up and talk about your concerns about a very important aspect of a couple's relationship! TRUST ME!
2007-03-04 01:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by macaficifunds 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like she is confused.. you both need ot sit down and have a good talk.. If she cannot talk to you about sex and her feelings now she is not ready for marriage.. Communication is the first key to a happy relationship.. You need to get to the bottom of this.. it makes no sense.. Maybe you just need some more experience and she is scared to say it.. Ask her what she likes and how she likes it ask her to teach you some stuff.. make a game out of it like teacher and student and so on.. Good Luck
2007-03-04 01:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by BLONDE BEAUTY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she wants to wait till you guys get married. Besides the longer the wait the better it will be. Just try to be patient, if you really love her it will be worth it waiting all that time when you actually do make love.
2007-03-04 01:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by Lady B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT IS A SHAME SEX IS VERY IMPORTANT PART OF A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT IT HOW WILL YOU RELIEVE STRESS FROM A LONG DAY,MAKE UP AFTER A FIGHT,AND JUST WANT TO BE PLEASED AND PLEASE YOUR PARTNER.SOUNDS LIKE TO ME YOU HAVE A PRUDE FOR A GIRL GET OUT NOW BEFORE THERE IS NO SEX IN YOUR FUTURE IS MY BEST ADVICE SHE TOOK YOUR VIRGINITY SORRY IF SHE UNLEASHED AN ANIMAL
2007-03-04 04:14:02 · answer #8 · answered by shastapop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Delay the wedding,do some soul searching and remember you are young and time is on your side... Maybe you need to see other women ,be single and experience women in general
2007-03-04 01:34:01 · answer #9 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my theory is its something with the gold in the engagement ring. put a wedding ring on her finger and it will be twice as bad. It doesn't get better after marriage don't fall for that one . RUN NOW.
2007-03-04 01:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by setter505 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋