what is the best way to deal with a 16 yo girl who is rebelling?

Question

she is skipping school, driving recklessly, confrontational, picking fights w/ parent, parents are divorced, she is very immature for her age and has always been spoiled, now she is really fighting any adult rules or advice, etc.

Answer 1

There is really nothing you can do if you are not one of her parents aside from letting her know you are concerned about her and that you care enough about her to be worried. ( And, PLEASE tell her parents about the reckless driving!! )

If you are one of her parents, then you will need to break bad on her. If you don't already, then it's time to get to know her. What does she own that she loves the most? Chances are she has clothes, books, video games, maybe a cell phone, that she thinks she could not live without. Take them from her. All of them. Box it all up and stick it under your bed or in your closet and put a big lock on the outside of your bedroom door so when you leave you can keep it all locked inside. Keep the door locked and barricaded when you are sleeping at night!! Buy a plain grey shirt and a pair of plaid polyester pants. That should be all that is left hanging in her closet as far as clothes. As far as her panties and bras, one of each and preferably the granny bloomers she only wears when she is menstruating.

Also, it is time to take away those keys before she kills herself or someone else. Take them from her and give them to a relative or neighbor you trust to keep. Preferably a female relative or neighbor. This way she cannot steal the keys back from you. Make sure she does not know about you giving them to a relative or neighbor! You drive her to school from now on and pick her up from school from now on.

For every "excellent" day she has, a day where she has not gotten mouthy, has done all of her homework, has gone to bed at a decent hour ( and was still in her bed at 3 am when you popped your head in to check on her ) give her one piece of clothing back. Of your choosing, not hers. For every day that she regresses to bad behavior, take a piece back. If she has more than three days in a week of bad behavior, take it all back. The last things she should get back are the cell phone, and the car keys. These are freedom to her which she has far too much of already by the looks of things.

Limit her social gatherings to school. And call every day to make sure she is in school. Call mid-morning and mid-afternoon.

If at any point she attacks you, and you are a man, or a female unwilling to knock the crap out of her, call the police and let them cart her off. An overnight stay in the local lock up will aid your cause very nicely!

After the first week, she will probably be pretty lonesome and willing to "let you in" to some extent. Take the opportunity to talk to her about what she is going through, how she is feeling. If you feel the need to explain yourself, go for it. After two weeks you may want to take her out somewhere just the two of you. Not shopping! Go to a movie, or a restaurant she likes. Make this a weekly event if you can. This way she knows you love her and part of her will see that the punishment is being done out of love, although she still wont be ready to admit it.

Generally it will take thirty days to see any improvement and three - four months before you can trust her to be responsible again.

Answer 2

Going through the same thing right now with both my stepkids. Their behaviour was getting out of control and was causing a lot of arguement between me and my wife because we didn't agree how to handle things.

I think what you have to realise is that every teen is going to be difficult, but when they start having total disregard for rules and adults it is time to make a plan of action and stick to it.

In our case we had to call the police several time and file reports and eventually filed unruly with the courts here in the USA. Not sure where in the world you are but there should be something you can do that is similar.

If you've given warning after warning and attempted to enforce the rules without success it's time to seek help. This may involve calling the police if the child is uncooperative, threatening or violent.

Once the courts get involved it is usually easier to get help such as anger management, counselling etc. The court will also not tolerate a bad attitude or bad behaviour.

It can be difficult for a parent to watch their child get punished. Both our kids have spent time in JDC (Juvenile Detention Center) and this was especially hard for my wife. Sometimes I guess you have to take drastic action. If you don't things usually only get worse.

Both our kids are now on probation and in anger management. Our son has had some drug problems and is attending rehab classes. They are both respectful (most of the time) and are straightening up. I think if we hadn't gone through the courts the family would have split up by now.

Anyway hope this helps. Remember, be firm and involve the courts if necessary. In the long run your kids will probably realise you were doing what was best for them.

Answer 3

She immature because you let her be, she's spoiled because you let her be, she's skipping school because the consequences aren't that bad. Not to be hard on you, but she will walk all over you until you make her stop. If you don't put an end to it soon, she will rebel more and could end up getting herself pregnant, or killing someone with her reckless driving. You want the best for her? Make her walk the line....

Answer 4

she needs a proper care and love, offcourse she would rebel, and she may be confrontational coz of her lost parents. thats not her fault, she would never be what she is now. All u can do is to listen to her, give her a respect, love, buy her gifts, and time by time ask her that she is better then others and what she is doin is taking her backwords. It may take some time but she would be ok after some times and would change to loving n caring girl.

Answer 5

Why? do not you think of it particularly is slightly stupid to insurrection in simple terms because of the fact your friends say each and every teenager woman rebels in some unspecified time interior the destiny? Why insurrection in case you do not have any own reason to? you do not sound such as you're suffering with your existence or your mom and dad. in case you're thinking you will attempt to have a relationship with this boy at the back of your mom and dad backs and regardless of their needs, i might propose not doing so. To me, it seems as in case your mom and dad are assembly you 0.5-way with your interest in this boy by having which contain his relatives. they're telling you it particularly is super to be interested in this boy, yet not devoid of their supervision, or the supervision of his mom and dad. it may sound slightly restrictive for a teenager woman your age, yet so what? it particularly is not the tip of your existence, and in 2 years, you would be unencumber to now. take great ingredient approximately what's being given to you presently, be in charge with it, and your mom and dad will easily holiday alongside with you till the day you get to deal with boyfriends all on your individual.

Answer 6

tell her that you are having her sent to a group home if she dose not straightin out, shes a minor, parents can pull her drivers lic. at the dmv . and don't spoil the brat, if she don't work for it she don't get it, next time she goes to school clear her room, leave nothing but a bed and basic things to wear, remind her who is in control, meals at the table, if shes not home at meal times she can go feed herself, your the parents its time for you to step up and be hard, time for you to take charge, so ask yourself "am i the child or the parent???"

Answer 7

Read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" The change will have to come within you first.

Answer 8

I asked my mom and she said if she gets any worse put here in some kind of boot camp