so i was living with a guy (housemate) last year and we hung out a lot just in the lounge room- watching tv. one night when we were out i sat next to him to have a chat and i made the comment: " come on, talk to me as a friend" to this he got really upset and got up and walked out of the bar. i ended up sending him a message to see if he was ok but he didnt reply. a few days later we went to a music festival and that night when i was just dancing with friends he came up, grabbed my hand and put it on his heart staring at me. i know this seems silly but at the time i didnt even really register. then i went away for a bit and was planning to move out. when i came back i saw him and he had jumped on his drum kit he was just playing and staring at me. i tried to talk but he just kept playing. he bid me good luck and farewelled me. I really liked him the whole time- now it is a new year and i went round to say gday and him and his buddies didnt even acknowledge me. he didnt look at me.
2007-03-04 00:25:09 · 4 answers · asked by chick1 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It seems to me as though he likes you, but is afraid to admit it. It is possible that, when you asked him to talk to you as a friend, he took it as an insult. Perhaps he thought of you as more than a friend, and felt that you were giving him a sign that you only wanted to be friends. It seems pretty clear that his placing your hand on his heart was an attempt to show you that he has/had feelings for you. Perhaps because you didn't respond the way he was hoping, he got angry or insulted, again, and is now pushing you away, giving you the "cold" treatment, for fear of getting hurt again, or in order to hurt you back.
That's not right of him, but it doesn't really make him an ******** either. It sounds like he's just having a tough time dealing with his emotions and what seems like some mixed up communication between him and you.
If you really like him, and feel like you want to explore the possibilties of a relationship, I'd suggest you get him alone (it will be harder for him to open up in front of friends), and tell him how you feel, and how you've been feeling. Don't dance around the subject. Be direct, but respect his feelings too. Tell him why you said the things you said. Tell him that you never meant to offend him. Don't use the word 'hurt', because he might take that as you suggesting that he is weak.
Honesty is the key here, along with some carefully, but compassionately, chosen words. Good luck. :)
2007-03-04 01:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by Brian Sparta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like the guy liked you or possibly thought he was in love with you.
When you told him to talk to you as a friend, it hurt, because he felt that you were never going to see him or care about him as anything else.
I had a similar experience A friend who finally told me he was in love with me, then grew distant because he said it hurt too much to be around me and not have me care about him the same way. And several years later, he gave me the cold shoulder when our paths crossed.
It hurts to lose a friendship, but if you didn't care about him as he cared about you, then you are both better off going your separate ways so that you can both find the type of relationships that you desire.
2007-03-04 10:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by KnowItAll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like more than friends to me and no one dares broach the subject!
2007-03-04 09:56:00 · answer #3 · answered by no_fool 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it that you like about him?
2007-03-04 09:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by rhymingron 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋